Helpless
I just spent what... one hour on the phone, talking to my little brother, scolding him, crying.
I so don't know what to do; my father calls me more and more, saying how mad he is, how helpless he is toward how my brother is wasting his youth; but today he just got so scared I think he went back to old memories of our family, sad ones. Talking about the time when he had to announce us our mother passed away in the night, that she wouldn't wake up. I hate it when it does although it hardly ever happened, I hate it even more on the phone. My father is so important, he's the one I'd as well babysit, support, be with in harsh times. When he comes to me in those times it's that he feels the loss of his wife, he wonders where he missed a thing and since In the family I'm the closest thing to a mother (my sister does the general pampering)... I wish I could just check out of work for a week and go stay with my papa.
I myself don't even know how to wake my brother up, I don't know how to make him realise he's wasting time, he misplaced his priorities. I don't know what I told him, I don't know if I made any point but I said things I don't even discuss with my sister. I'm so shaking right now, it hurts so much.
I really wish I could check out of my work duties for a while, I.owe my father so so much.
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