Open Letter: To my G.I. Tract
Hello My Gurgling, Bubbly and Generally Displeased Bodily Region,
Why do you hate me so much? What did I do to you? I've been kind. I've been nice. I give you healthy, nice things to digest.
Yes, I do tend towards dumping anxiety and stress in your general direction...but not all the time.
It was only recently, you were unable to fend off food poisoning...
Less than four weeks later, you've become incorrigible for reasons entirely unclear to me. Five days, now. Five days of water, rice noodles, bananas and ginger beer (which does seem to calm you, but at 37.5 grams of sugar per bottle we're going to wind up diabetic!). I've now put up with 3.5 days in my bed, blood draws and a take-home goodie bag filled with items for sample collections that are entirely too awful to think about.
I know that I was a germ-o-phobe as a child. It has come back to haunt me. If only I'd eaten more dirt and guzzled more frequently from the garden hose, perhaps our relationship would be a cheerier one. I wish I could go back and change the past, but I can't!
Please...understand that I'm not perfect. Cut me some slack. I'm tired of feeling awful all the time -- and it can't be fun for you either.
What can I do to make things right?
Sincerely,
~Me
Why do you hate me so much? What did I do to you? I've been kind. I've been nice. I give you healthy, nice things to digest.
Yes, I do tend towards dumping anxiety and stress in your general direction...but not all the time.
It was only recently, you were unable to fend off food poisoning...
Less than four weeks later, you've become incorrigible for reasons entirely unclear to me. Five days, now. Five days of water, rice noodles, bananas and ginger beer (which does seem to calm you, but at 37.5 grams of sugar per bottle we're going to wind up diabetic!). I've now put up with 3.5 days in my bed, blood draws and a take-home goodie bag filled with items for sample collections that are entirely too awful to think about.
I know that I was a germ-o-phobe as a child. It has come back to haunt me. If only I'd eaten more dirt and guzzled more frequently from the garden hose, perhaps our relationship would be a cheerier one. I wish I could go back and change the past, but I can't!
Please...understand that I'm not perfect. Cut me some slack. I'm tired of feeling awful all the time -- and it can't be fun for you either.
What can I do to make things right?
Sincerely,
~Me