Life?
OK so here's my general life update:
And the real reason I'm posting: two dreams.
Tuesday Night's Dream:
I was with Noah, just hanging out, and then he got this look on his face like something was serious. He turned and faced me and said something along the lines of, "I think we should try again, I miss you" and then he went in to kiss me. I turned away just a little so he didn't but he tried again and I moved again. Now both of the kiss attempts were slow and sweet like in romantic movies, not aggressive or anything. He looked confused and a little hurt and I said something like "I don't know, I miss you too, but I don't know."
And that's where the dream ended. Kinda similar to when we got back together the first time but completely not at the same time.
Wednesday Night's Dream:
We were in a room that reminded me of the reception room at HB and there were a bunch of people around. I was with Noah and a girl I couldn't identify. It was like a big lease-signing thing or something and the three of us were getting an apartment together. So Noah and the girl signed the lease and as I was about to sign the landlord took it away from me and started walking away and Noah and the girl were following and I was very confused. So I said "wait I still need to sign it" and the landlord said "I know but we have to go, you can do it after" and I was frustrated so I said "why can't I just sign it now? It'll take two seconds and then it'll be done." So he gave it back to me with the pen but kept walking and Noah and the girl kept following. So I took the lease over to a table and signed it and when I turned around I couldn't see them. I wandered around for a couple minutes and they came back, the landlord had apparently showed them another property of his, and I was walking with Noah and I held his hand tenatively and he didn't object so we kept walking. Then it was later (like a couple days maybe) and he and I were walking somewhere else and I held his hand again and looked at him out of the corner of my eye and he sort of half-smiled. Then it was later that day and he asked what was going on/what we were doing/what it meant for living together. I said I wasn't quite sure but it was slow and sweet and that I thought we should keep going in the direction we were heading. He agreed, we hugged, then kept walking holding hands.
I am very confused/frustrated. I don't know what I want and when I have an idea I can't tell if it's because I'm lonely or because it's real or what. Like I said, I don't like this single thing. This is the longest I've been boyfriend-less since I started seriously dating in my freshman year of high school. I'm a serial monogamist and I don't have such an issue with that.
- Finished my program at ICASI
- About to start a 4th term at Lakeland (taking 2 classes-intro soc. and child psych)
- STILL DON'T HAVE MY GRADES from this past term
- Moving back to Boston in August and living with Miriam and Laura about 3 minutes from 'Deis
- Waiting to hear about a job for the summer
- Have been volunteering at the Rescue Village twice a week and love it
- I do not enjoy this "single" thing, at least not in Cleveland
And the real reason I'm posting: two dreams.
Tuesday Night's Dream:
I was with Noah, just hanging out, and then he got this look on his face like something was serious. He turned and faced me and said something along the lines of, "I think we should try again, I miss you" and then he went in to kiss me. I turned away just a little so he didn't but he tried again and I moved again. Now both of the kiss attempts were slow and sweet like in romantic movies, not aggressive or anything. He looked confused and a little hurt and I said something like "I don't know, I miss you too, but I don't know."
And that's where the dream ended. Kinda similar to when we got back together the first time but completely not at the same time.
Wednesday Night's Dream:
We were in a room that reminded me of the reception room at HB and there were a bunch of people around. I was with Noah and a girl I couldn't identify. It was like a big lease-signing thing or something and the three of us were getting an apartment together. So Noah and the girl signed the lease and as I was about to sign the landlord took it away from me and started walking away and Noah and the girl were following and I was very confused. So I said "wait I still need to sign it" and the landlord said "I know but we have to go, you can do it after" and I was frustrated so I said "why can't I just sign it now? It'll take two seconds and then it'll be done." So he gave it back to me with the pen but kept walking and Noah and the girl kept following. So I took the lease over to a table and signed it and when I turned around I couldn't see them. I wandered around for a couple minutes and they came back, the landlord had apparently showed them another property of his, and I was walking with Noah and I held his hand tenatively and he didn't object so we kept walking. Then it was later (like a couple days maybe) and he and I were walking somewhere else and I held his hand again and looked at him out of the corner of my eye and he sort of half-smiled. Then it was later that day and he asked what was going on/what we were doing/what it meant for living together. I said I wasn't quite sure but it was slow and sweet and that I thought we should keep going in the direction we were heading. He agreed, we hugged, then kept walking holding hands.
I am very confused/frustrated. I don't know what I want and when I have an idea I can't tell if it's because I'm lonely or because it's real or what. Like I said, I don't like this single thing. This is the longest I've been boyfriend-less since I started seriously dating in my freshman year of high school. I'm a serial monogamist and I don't have such an issue with that.