mumbling
So I was lying there when he took my money and keys.
Well, I guess that's not really where it begins. I am so glad to not have any real trouble in my life right now. Nothing huge is wrong. Nothing worth complaining about, yet I feel the need to do this again.
We went to a party I didn't want to go to. I went because I thought that maybe it could be fun, and I was the ride for others. I wanted to drink, just not so much to be in that company. I wanted to leave. He didn't. We stayed until 5 or 6 in the morning. I asked to go around 2. He was having fun.
We went to a party he didn't want to go to. We left even though I was having fun, and I was in a more comfortable place and party.
I wanted to be held. I needed something more to feel loved, silly, but was necessary at the time. I felt a little unwhatever after he hit on other girls, and spoke about them after party #1, during and after which he was too upset with how I was acting that night to want to dance with me. (I spent much of the time in my car asleep and taking walks and for a bit, I was stumbling around the hotel). Anyway, I wanted to be held. That was this morning. I wanted to snuggle up to him and watch a good movie last night, but I fell asleep so he and b watched it. This morning I couldn't get close to him. So I went to watch the movie. That's when he got aggravated with me for watching it, tho we rented it cos I hadn't seen it. That's when I turned it off, hoping we could talk and then started crying because of small things multiplying, nothing big, nothing worth crying about. That's when he didn't notice, took my keys and the only$5 to my name. He had to go through my stuff, and even though I wasn't okay with him taking my car or money, he thinks that it's okay to take it, without asking, and accept it as what I owe him.
And he'll be angry right now, and I don't understand it. I just don't feel right.
I feel alone.
I feel like I've done something that hasn't been recognized (which is no big deal, just that I feel like I keep trying to make things good and they end up bad). I need a friend. And I think sometimes that he is a best friend. But how many times has he left me behind? Gone ahead with what he wants, what he feels like, what he is. Not concerned with me.
Thinks me too selfish because I ask anything from him.
I wish I hadn't gotten rid of so much for his sake because maybe then I would have something right now. Keeps taking more.
Well, I guess that's not really where it begins. I am so glad to not have any real trouble in my life right now. Nothing huge is wrong. Nothing worth complaining about, yet I feel the need to do this again.
We went to a party I didn't want to go to. I went because I thought that maybe it could be fun, and I was the ride for others. I wanted to drink, just not so much to be in that company. I wanted to leave. He didn't. We stayed until 5 or 6 in the morning. I asked to go around 2. He was having fun.
We went to a party he didn't want to go to. We left even though I was having fun, and I was in a more comfortable place and party.
I wanted to be held. I needed something more to feel loved, silly, but was necessary at the time. I felt a little unwhatever after he hit on other girls, and spoke about them after party #1, during and after which he was too upset with how I was acting that night to want to dance with me. (I spent much of the time in my car asleep and taking walks and for a bit, I was stumbling around the hotel). Anyway, I wanted to be held. That was this morning. I wanted to snuggle up to him and watch a good movie last night, but I fell asleep so he and b watched it. This morning I couldn't get close to him. So I went to watch the movie. That's when he got aggravated with me for watching it, tho we rented it cos I hadn't seen it. That's when I turned it off, hoping we could talk and then started crying because of small things multiplying, nothing big, nothing worth crying about. That's when he didn't notice, took my keys and the only$5 to my name. He had to go through my stuff, and even though I wasn't okay with him taking my car or money, he thinks that it's okay to take it, without asking, and accept it as what I owe him.
And he'll be angry right now, and I don't understand it. I just don't feel right.
I feel alone.
I feel like I've done something that hasn't been recognized (which is no big deal, just that I feel like I keep trying to make things good and they end up bad). I need a friend. And I think sometimes that he is a best friend. But how many times has he left me behind? Gone ahead with what he wants, what he feels like, what he is. Not concerned with me.
Thinks me too selfish because I ask anything from him.
I wish I hadn't gotten rid of so much for his sake because maybe then I would have something right now. Keeps taking more.