Apr 30, 2012 18:19
Always I have found myself caught between two worlds. This is Maya again! Calling…. "let me test him, if you think he is so faithful". But it is a struggle. That world of intense yoga, earthy power, moving energy, sorcery, Shiva-Shakti, Maui stuff again. The circumstances whisper to me, remember when you fit into this world? Remember when you were a Mayavadi sorceress with ancient siddhis? When your philosophical intelligence, your depth of study, your artistry and creativity and your effulgence and light drew the greedy jaws of the dull-eyed who take life to live--who take the position of enjoyer and controller, wielding over their fellow beings, who wanted you to become one of them or be devoured--do you remember?
Ha!
No wonder I hate to see myself impressive in any way and should prefer a humble love of and service to those who are chaste and charitable, clear-minded and sober, humble and honest, kind and compassionate.
The problem is the former situation of odd entanglements pops up anywhere and everywhere… in small subtle ways perhaps but disturbing nonetheless. The culture of rajas, energy manipulation, ashtanga, pranayama, tantra.
It is clearly different from any and all manifestations of transcendence. One of the things I like to do to refresh my faith and trust in the transcendental is to read in the Bible about the fruits of the Holy Spirit… or read in the Bhagavad Gita about the traits of one who is situated in transcendence. This is the Lord. This is the eternal position of the soul. All of this other--why, Shiva-Shakti is mode of ignorance and mercy only, that those under that mode may have some protection. Can we understand this without slipping into thinking that it is in anyway equal to the Supreme Lord and His service? Can we recognize the material desires and bewilderment that is inevitably worked into this?
Can *I* recognize this when it appears? Does the spirit follow always the external manifestation? Whether it is being too free with bodily association or what? Oh, one who is transcendental would not notice. I reveal to myself my own entanglement with material nature when these things plunge me back into the Maui-anxiety. I lack the purity to be all-encompassingly on this spiritual platform--I get hooked here, and there, and all over.
Most of my 'hooks' come in the form of aversion… such as to this. BG 3.34: "There are principles to regulate attachment and aversion pertaining to the senses and their objects. One should not come under the control of such attachment and aversion, because they are stumbling blocks on the path of self-realization."
One of the most fruitful and sweet things one can do in this situation is to turn to the Scriptures. Always! This study is the worship of the Lord and the cultivation of sincerity in the heart… and the clear, practical teachings contained therein are a relief to the agitated mind.
Galatians 5:16-26--
"I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another."
And again,
"Humility; pridelessness; nonviolence; tolerance; simplicity; approaching a bona fide spiritual master; cleanliness; steadiness; self-control; renunciation of the objects of sense gratification; absence of false ego; the perception of the evil of birth, death, old age and disease; detachment; freedom from entanglement with children, wife, home and the rest; even-mindedness amid pleasant and unpleasant events; constant and unalloyed devotion to Me; aspiring to live in a solitary place; detachment from the general mass of people; accepting the importance of self-realization; and philosophical search for the Absolute Truth - all these I declare to be knowledge, and besides this whatever there may be is ignorance." - BG 13.8-12
The mind must come under the control of real knowledge. When we are under the control of our attachments and aversions--so easy!--we must return to this in all humility and faith. Already my mind is relieved from delving into the clear and practical words of God and His representatives. What is transcendence? It is listed clearly and plainly, calling out to knowledge we once had when we were not bewildered.