Desserts
Who knows, maybe in the end I just deserved to be forced to continue this game of solitaire. I've said it before, that I try not to believe in karma and things of the sort, but sometimes it feels like there's no other explanation my mind will settle on. I reject people all the time, and though I feel bad about it as I hate the act being done to me, I still execute it with swiftness, coldness, and no hesitation. I went to the movies with this kid who use to be my best friend yesterday. I stopped talking to him a long time ago, maybe a year or two before I wen to Cali the first time. I just felt I had grown, had changed, and it created a distance in me. He would call and talk as normally, but there was no more excited, no more laughter on my end. Eventually he learned to stop calling. But then again, now that I think about it....maybe it was because he's a phobe and mildly racist to white people. Oh well, I'm sure karma is as blind as justice.
I was folding up a bunch of old clothes last night to go the goodwill or something and I found the hoodie of the guy I was seeing last year. I knew we weren't right for each other from the start, and even though I haven't had a lasting relationship or any shit like that, I still can't kid myself, or waste my time pretending just for the sake of no more lonely days....and sex of course. Loves to watch romantic comedies and dreams of what his wedding will look like.....ugh ugh UGH. When I found out he was a devout catholic though, that's when I drew the line. I always say even though I definitely don't agree with most religions, I still respect other people's beliefs just for the fact that it means a whole lot to some people. So...what happened to me there? When I learned that fact I couldn't wait to dump him, and I did the first chance I got. But then again, now that I think about it...he did want me to pee on him at one point (!!!)....but, y'know...blind.
Of course there's been many less note worthy instances of me cutting off associates and even a few other friends. Even though I try to be as opened minded as a person possibly can, there are still plenty of times when I'll instantly prejudge someone and refuse to give them a chance to get in my good graces. Of course all this is occurs naturally in the course of life, because it's human nature. Some people don't get along and some people change and grow apart. Still, when you do that to someone who's to say you don't deserve it to come back to you.
I was folding up a bunch of old clothes last night to go the goodwill or something and I found the hoodie of the guy I was seeing last year. I knew we weren't right for each other from the start, and even though I haven't had a lasting relationship or any shit like that, I still can't kid myself, or waste my time pretending just for the sake of no more lonely days....and sex of course. Loves to watch romantic comedies and dreams of what his wedding will look like.....ugh ugh UGH. When I found out he was a devout catholic though, that's when I drew the line. I always say even though I definitely don't agree with most religions, I still respect other people's beliefs just for the fact that it means a whole lot to some people. So...what happened to me there? When I learned that fact I couldn't wait to dump him, and I did the first chance I got. But then again, now that I think about it...he did want me to pee on him at one point (!!!)....but, y'know...blind.
Of course there's been many less note worthy instances of me cutting off associates and even a few other friends. Even though I try to be as opened minded as a person possibly can, there are still plenty of times when I'll instantly prejudge someone and refuse to give them a chance to get in my good graces. Of course all this is occurs naturally in the course of life, because it's human nature. Some people don't get along and some people change and grow apart. Still, when you do that to someone who's to say you don't deserve it to come back to you.