6
The last bit of money was used up. The bus ticket lays on the desk beside me. Suddenly, sitting here feels so comfortable, so right. Could it be fear creeping up my spine, or my unconscious mind trying to rationalize with me? I'm not sure. On one hand, it feels this will be good for me. But I've never been one for uncertainties, so on the other I feel I'm terrified and foolish, stepping into the void so easily. I've said the phrase "and my ticket is non refundable" maybe fifteen times in the past three days. Maybe I was acting extremely irrational in a moment of mania, or maybe I was following what my instincts feel is right for me. No option for me right now has a side brighter than another. It's just the path I'm starting down has far more consequences. Out of this scattered mess I've sorted the many pieces into some sort of achievable plan. I don't want to jinx it and detail it here, but it just may work. However, several of the steps depend on several people, and of course you can only depend on people so much, which is why I hate doing it. I guess I just have to cross my fingers and hope for the best. This is going to be a real test of strength. Let's see just how strong I am.
Also, today was a beautiful day of rich colors and cool breezes. A gold sun pinned to a vibrant blue sky, swimming with clouds. I smiled in my feeling of content, alone and silently dreaming of a future like this.
Also, today was a beautiful day of rich colors and cool breezes. A gold sun pinned to a vibrant blue sky, swimming with clouds. I smiled in my feeling of content, alone and silently dreaming of a future like this.