#354: Incu-bye (I Demand a New Job)
Title: Incu-bye (I Demand a New Job)
Pairing(s): Kai/Chen
Rating: PG-13
Length: 3,024 words
Warning(s): [Please click to open.]cursing, alcohol
Summary: Kim Jongin: newly deceased and newly assigned. The problem? How did a socially awkward, accident prone guy become an incubus?
Author's Note: I can honestly say I would 100% be Jongin in this kind of situation haha. Thank you to the prompter for coming up with this hilarious idea!! And thank you to the mods for being super kind throughout this whole writing journey~
When Jongin died (a time he still didn’t remember much to his dismay) he thought he would be welcomed with open arms into the great afterlife surrounded by mountains of food and video games. Wrong. Here he was sitting in front of a desk with a packet in his lap with the large heading: “Kim Jongin - Incubus” printed on the top.
“Incubus? I was perfectly fine when I was alive!” Jongin whined to the official behind the desk who only raised an eyebrow. “Okay kind of, but you get the point!”
“Mr. Kim I can assure you that this is no mistake. Every soul is sorted based on their past lives, plus what positions are available. You qualify as an incubus, and our incubus populations have been running low the past few years, so here you are.” The sorting official professionally addressed him with a reassuring tone (Jongin knew she wanted to bash in his head despite the front).
“But I-”
“Mr. Kim, what’s done is done. I am simply the messenger. We’re finished here.” She snapped her fingers, and Jongin was immediately transported to some city on Earth.
Jongin cursed and kicked a crushed can on the sidewalk, “Could she at least have given me the handbook?”
He walked down the concrete of some city block trying to figure out where he exactly was in the world. By judging the people walking around him, he guessed he was somewhere in Asia. He travelled a bit farther down the road before spotting a club with an LED sign written in Hangul.
Ah Korea, my home land.
“A club...perfect! Incubi go to clubs don’t they?” Jongin spoke to himself, trying to ease the growing nerves in his body. He barely knew anything about the job of an incubus. From what he recollected from rumors was that they seduced people and had sex with them to stay “healthy.”
“Man, I have to get laid? I couldn’t even get a date to the movies. And I had double the options!” Jongin continued to talk to himself in frustration. “Should I go in? No, no I have to figure out what I have to do first. You can’t embarrass yourself, Jongin. You can’t go invisible like Suho can. Suho! Of course! I’ll talk to him; he’s smart with this kind of stuff.”
Quickening his pace Jongin searched for the nearest hotel to stay for the night. He breathed a sigh of relief knowing that one was close to where he was dropped off. The lobby was eerily empty, probably because it was well past midnight when he walked through the front entrance.
Approaching the reception desk, he exhaled to calm himself. He was broke and downright disoriented, so he hoped he could use some of his incubus charm to get a room for free. “Hello,” he got the attention of the lady at the desk.
“Yes, how may I help you?” She moved closer to her desktop computer and smiled at Jongin.
“I would like to stay in one of your rooms.” Here we go Jongin leaned an arm over the counter and made direct contact with the employee, feeling victorious when she blushed. “But I don’t think I have enough money for the night. Is there any way you can change that?”
“Y-yes of course sir. Here I’ll give you the deluxe suite. Enjoy your stay.” She placed a plastic card in his hand, dazed from Jongin’s stare.
“Thank you beautiful,” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it on impulse. He felt he should’ve done something to seal the deal.
The lady hid her face in her hands and smiled as he walked towards the elevator. As the doors closed, he jumped up in the air. “Hell yeah! I just did that. Don’t know how I did it, but I did!”
With a newfound confidence in his abilities, he waltzed into his lavish hotel room and collapsed onto the plush king-sized bed. After what he had to endure for the past few days, you know, dying and now this whole assignment ordeal, he was really tired. Plus the new incubus him hadn’t fed yet, and he was running on fumes. Snuggling underneath the comforter he prayed Suho would be available, “Please let him be on shift tonight.”
Luckily, being dead didn’t mean no more dreams, so Jongin enjoyed wandering around his imagination instead of the real world for a bit.
“Suho? Suho?” Jongin called out into the black void as his mind slipped in between the line of reality and dreams.
As he felt himself fall into the realm of his subconscious, he found himself sitting inside a small cafe, much like the one he frequented when he was alive. Placed on the dark-stained wood of the table was a small cup of bold brewed coffee with cream, just how he ordered it before his death. Jongin picked up the cup and took a sip, watching a man leave the front counter and sit across from him.
“Sorry, I was caught up with an assignment. It’s nice to see you. My condolences about your death by the way,” The man addressed Jongin with a bright smile.
“Nah, it’s cool. I’m just glad I can talk to you, Suho.”
“C’mon, I’ve been your dreamwalker for how many years? It’s not like we’re distant pen pals or something.” Suho sipped his coffee, “So spill. What’s on your mind?”
“Well, I got assigned for starters.”
“Hey, that’s good! Why are you so down?”
“I’m an incubus, Suho.”
Suho chuckled, “Seriously? Mister ‘I can’t get a date to save my life’ is an incubus. Wow, who’d you piss off to get that job?”
“No one! They just said I was qualified and left it at that! I can’t even talk to people let alone seduce them!” Jongin lowered his head onto the table in defeat, “I don’t know what to do. Plus they never gave me the manual when I went to earth.”
“You must’ve really pissed them off-”
“I didn’t piss them off!” He pouted as he raised his head.
“Okay, okay. I don’t know much about incubi, but I do know that they have to have sexual contact to feed.”
“Tell me stuff I don’t know, please,” Jongin sighed while Suho shook his head.
“Always so impatient.” He took a breath in. “An incubus’s main food source is sex, but kissing will curb the fatigue. Ah, oh! You probably figured this out, but your eyes are…”
“Like magic. Yeah, that’s how I’m sleeping for free. Continue.”
“That’s pretty much it. I mean you’re pretty lucky you have more options; most incubi can’t bring themselves to do that.”
“I’m bisexual, not shopping for groceries.”
“You might as well be being an incubus now.”
Jongin reached over and slapped Suho on the shoulder, “I came here for help, and all I’m getting is verbal abuse.”
Their surrounding fazed in and out for a few short moments. Suho took that opportunity to stand up, and Jongin followed suit. “You’re going to wake up soon.”
“Yeah,” Jongin looked down at his feet and back up at Suho, “You know sometimes I wish we could hang out for real.”
“What makes you say this isn’t real?”
“Well for starters I would never wear this shirt with these pants.”
Laughing, Suho patted the other’s forearm, “Okay, you caught me. But you know, you’re dead, I’m dead, what’s to say we can’t hang out? Drop by headquarters sometime when you’ve gotten the hang of things.”
Their forms began to fade into translucent shapes, signalling the end of Jongin’s dream. “I’ll see you then.” The boy saluted Suho playfully.
Jongin awoke with a sigh after realizing how screwed he was in his current situation.
“Well, a new day, a new life.”
His head pounded with the thought of having to talk...to actual people. All powerful demon or not, that idea frightened him. Maybe he could ask for a transfer. Being a dreamwalker didn’t sound so bad. He didn’t even have to talk to the dreamer. It was a win-win.
But all the paperwork you would have to go through would be the second death of you. Jongin groaned at the image of dozens of forms he would need to fill out to transfer jobs.
“Stupid afterlife. Why couldn’t they have just let me spend eternity in a penthouse with food or a puppy? It’s a hell of a lot better than this. Wait a minute.” He stopped complaining to himself and hastily ran out the hotel room, flashing a cute smile to the receptionist.
Thirty minutes later he sprawled out onto the soft sheets of his brand new penthouse apartment with a poodle puppy licking at his fingertips. “There, much better. Now, I need a plan.”
Three weeks later Jongin found himself in another bar out of the dozens he has visited with a woman he already forgot the name of (and who most likely forgot his as well).
“So, uh...how about I get you a bubbly drink to match your beautiful personality.”
Good, good. Keep that up, Jongin. It’ll be over soon enough.
“I’d like that a lot.” She winked with a giggle.
Jongin waved over the bartender and chose a random fruity drink, the only one at the bar that was carbonated. He might as well get the girl drunk, so she wouldn’t cringe at his awful pickup techniques. “Make this lovely lady something sparkling.”
The bartender nodded and began mixing up a colorful drink so sugary Jongin nearly gagged from watching him make it. As he continued to mix the alcoholic beverage, the girl currently feeling up Jongin’s bicep giggled, annoying the incubus even more: “So, do you work out? You’re really muscular.”
“I’m a dancer,” Jongin curtly replied. He prevented himself from rolling his eyes. Could this girl be any more desperate for sex? Taking a gentle sip from his beer, he spotted a nice looking man a few feet away. He was talking to some other guy that looked as if he wanted to die than be at the bar at this hour. Maybe he could ditch the girl for him and- “Like a stripper?”
Jongin choked on the alcohol, and some of the liquid dribbled down his chin at her comment. He quickly wiped away the drops and shook his head, “No, no, no. Just a regular dancer.”
“Oh? What a shame.”
Jongin scowled as the bartender slid over the completed drink. He had to get out of this situation as soon as possible. Just a few more minutes and you’re done for the next few days.
“Drink up, beautiful.” He passed the blue and green drink over to the girl, “You know, after this we-”
“Ah! What the hell!” She screamed in anger. The drink Jongin ordered for her tipped over and spilled all over her lap and down her legs.
“Great job, Jongin. You’re gonna starve for the next week,” He scolded himself under his breath. “Here, let me help you clean up.”
“No! Just leave me.” She turned up her post-plastic surgery nose, “To think I was gonna hook up with a stripper.”
With her comment she abruptly stood up and stormed off to the ladies’ room. Sighing, Jongin slumped on the counter, one hand pushing against the skin of his cheek. The bartender looked at him with a mix of sympathy and understanding and solemnly passed him a bottle of hard lemonade: “On the house.”
“Thanks,” The distressed incubus took a large swig. That was the fifth time in the past two weeks he screwed up and the third time he spilled a drink on somebody. The other two times ended with a trip to the ER and to the police station. Jongin shuddered; he didn’t even think that was possible from accidentally tripping someone in the club.
“Rough day?” A light voice asked to his left.
“You have no idea,” Jongin groaned, already feeling weak from the lack of ‘food’ he gets. Turning to face the direction of said voice, he found himself staring at an utterly symmetrical face, specifically the face of the man he was planning on grabbing.
“Ah, I get those sometimes, too. You know consider that drink spilling a blessing. Macy is notorious for being a gold digger,” The man pat Jongin on the back.
Macy, so that was her name. “To be honest I wasn’t that interested in her to begin with.”
“Not into girls?”
“Not all the time.”
“Play for both teams, then?” He leaned back, “I’m more of an all-guys player myself.”
Jongin mentally cheered; this guy was becoming easier and easier to obtain, and he was barely doing anything!
The man held out his hand, “I’m Jongdae.”
“Jongin,” He shook the newcomer’s hand with a genuine smile. Jongdae just radiated friendliness, so he couldn’t help it. Plus his smile was to die for (no pun intended).
“Alright Jongin, how about we have some real fun tonight.”
Multiple shots of alcohol later, both men stumbled out of the bar hand in hand towards Jongin’s apartment. Upon entering the penthouse, Jongdae gaped drunkenly at the vastness of the living space, “Woah, you can fit an entire pool in here.”
Jongin only nodded, not affected by the large amount of alcohol swimming through his system. He yanked onto Jongdae’s sleeve and pulled him closer to his body. Just one kiss to prevent him from collapsing from exhaustion, and then he could fully feed. Rather awkwardly, he leaned in closer and closer to the human, but Jongdae, being the completely wasted man he was, decided to take charge and unsuccessfully dipped Jongin. In a matter of seconds, the incubus dragged him down to the hardwood floor with a loud thump, and Jongdae’s knee slammed down first, probably creating a large bruise from the impact.
“Shit!” Jongdae whined as he cradled his knee in his cupped hands.
“Here, I’ll get you some ice,” Jongin rushed to grab a bag of ice from his freezer but managed to catch his arm onto a glass on the countertop, flinging it onto the floor before he could register what happened. “Oh no.”
Pieces of glass were scattered all around Jongdae’s body, and Jongin had no way to help him.
Let’s just say that Jongin went hungry the rest of the week.
One month later
“Jongin, we’ve been friends for a few weeks now, I know when you’re beating around the bush.”
“Just, meet me at the cafe by the convenience store this afternoon, okay? You’ve interrogated me enough as is, Jongdae.”
“Fine, but that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. I’ll get you talking.”
“I know you will. See you later.”
“I’m deader than dead.”
Jongdae sipped his iced coffee with an expecting look in his eyes, “So, what deep, dark secret were you gonna spill to me?”
Jongin scratched the back of his head. “I’m an incubus,” He hesitantly admitted.
“Seriously? You gotta be shitting me.”
“I’m not joking. I can prove it to you,” Jongin’s voice became quiet at the thought of having to flirt with a stranger. “Except, I’m not that good at picking up people.”
Jongdae laughed, “I figured as much. I mean the first time we met you nearly killed me.”
“We promised never to speak of that again.”
“Fine.” The human leaned onto the table, “Let me get this straight. You are an incubus, but you can’t get with another human being to save your life.”
“Pretty much.”
“Man, who’d you piss off to land this job?”
“Ha, you sound just like my friend. He said the exact same thing.”
“Because you’re a socially awkward, bisexual incubus. Wow, didn’t think those three things would be put together in one sentence.”
“So what am I gonna do?”
“You are going to get up right now and kiss the first person not a senior citizen or minor you see.”
Jongin began to protest as his friend started shoving him towards the entrance to the cafe, “No please, Jongdae. Don’t. I swear to god I’ll use my incubus powers on you if you don’t stop.”
“Why are you so scared?”
“Because…”
“Because what? You don’t like people? Yeah I know people are shitty, but you have to survive, Jongin, and the only way for you to do that is by getting close to people.”
“It’s because I can’t do it to you.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. I can’t go have sex with somebody else because I. Like. You. There, I said it. Ever since we first met I’ve liked you, but I was always scared you wouldn’t like me back.” He took a deep breath to calm his nerves, “You can reject me if you don’t feel that way.”
Jongdae didn’t say anything and Jongin began to worry he said too much until the human male cupped his cheeks and kissed him fully on the lips. “Of course I feel that way. Why’d you think I talked to you in the first place?”
“I hate you, you know that,” Jongin breathily chuckled.
The other smirked, “I know.” He hooked his arm around the incubus’s shoulder, “I guess I’m your personal food source now, huh?”
“Shut up and take me home before I kill you.”
“I’m not worried; I’ve been there before.”
Jongin laughed, and his eyes lit up with a happiness he hadn’t felt since before he died. Perhaps he had a purpose after all.
“Nice to see you in person, Jongin.”
“Nice to see you too.”
“How long has it been since our chat in the coffee shop? Damn, it feels like it’s only been a week.”
“About two years.”
“That long? Time flies.” Suho paused in thought before continuing, “Ever follow through with that job transfer application.”
“I started filling it out, but I burned it.” He thought about Jongdae happily sleeping on their shared bed.
“I think being an incubus isn’t half bad after all.”
Pairing(s): Kai/Chen
Rating: PG-13
Length: 3,024 words
Warning(s): [Please click to open.]cursing, alcohol
Summary: Kim Jongin: newly deceased and newly assigned. The problem? How did a socially awkward, accident prone guy become an incubus?
Author's Note: I can honestly say I would 100% be Jongin in this kind of situation haha. Thank you to the prompter for coming up with this hilarious idea!! And thank you to the mods for being super kind throughout this whole writing journey~
When Jongin died (a time he still didn’t remember much to his dismay) he thought he would be welcomed with open arms into the great afterlife surrounded by mountains of food and video games. Wrong. Here he was sitting in front of a desk with a packet in his lap with the large heading: “Kim Jongin - Incubus” printed on the top.
“Incubus? I was perfectly fine when I was alive!” Jongin whined to the official behind the desk who only raised an eyebrow. “Okay kind of, but you get the point!”
“Mr. Kim I can assure you that this is no mistake. Every soul is sorted based on their past lives, plus what positions are available. You qualify as an incubus, and our incubus populations have been running low the past few years, so here you are.” The sorting official professionally addressed him with a reassuring tone (Jongin knew she wanted to bash in his head despite the front).
“But I-”
“Mr. Kim, what’s done is done. I am simply the messenger. We’re finished here.” She snapped her fingers, and Jongin was immediately transported to some city on Earth.
Jongin cursed and kicked a crushed can on the sidewalk, “Could she at least have given me the handbook?”
He walked down the concrete of some city block trying to figure out where he exactly was in the world. By judging the people walking around him, he guessed he was somewhere in Asia. He travelled a bit farther down the road before spotting a club with an LED sign written in Hangul.
Ah Korea, my home land.
“A club...perfect! Incubi go to clubs don’t they?” Jongin spoke to himself, trying to ease the growing nerves in his body. He barely knew anything about the job of an incubus. From what he recollected from rumors was that they seduced people and had sex with them to stay “healthy.”
“Man, I have to get laid? I couldn’t even get a date to the movies. And I had double the options!” Jongin continued to talk to himself in frustration. “Should I go in? No, no I have to figure out what I have to do first. You can’t embarrass yourself, Jongin. You can’t go invisible like Suho can. Suho! Of course! I’ll talk to him; he’s smart with this kind of stuff.”
Quickening his pace Jongin searched for the nearest hotel to stay for the night. He breathed a sigh of relief knowing that one was close to where he was dropped off. The lobby was eerily empty, probably because it was well past midnight when he walked through the front entrance.
Approaching the reception desk, he exhaled to calm himself. He was broke and downright disoriented, so he hoped he could use some of his incubus charm to get a room for free. “Hello,” he got the attention of the lady at the desk.
“Yes, how may I help you?” She moved closer to her desktop computer and smiled at Jongin.
“I would like to stay in one of your rooms.” Here we go Jongin leaned an arm over the counter and made direct contact with the employee, feeling victorious when she blushed. “But I don’t think I have enough money for the night. Is there any way you can change that?”
“Y-yes of course sir. Here I’ll give you the deluxe suite. Enjoy your stay.” She placed a plastic card in his hand, dazed from Jongin’s stare.
“Thank you beautiful,” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it on impulse. He felt he should’ve done something to seal the deal.
The lady hid her face in her hands and smiled as he walked towards the elevator. As the doors closed, he jumped up in the air. “Hell yeah! I just did that. Don’t know how I did it, but I did!”
With a newfound confidence in his abilities, he waltzed into his lavish hotel room and collapsed onto the plush king-sized bed. After what he had to endure for the past few days, you know, dying and now this whole assignment ordeal, he was really tired. Plus the new incubus him hadn’t fed yet, and he was running on fumes. Snuggling underneath the comforter he prayed Suho would be available, “Please let him be on shift tonight.”
Luckily, being dead didn’t mean no more dreams, so Jongin enjoyed wandering around his imagination instead of the real world for a bit.
“Suho? Suho?” Jongin called out into the black void as his mind slipped in between the line of reality and dreams.
As he felt himself fall into the realm of his subconscious, he found himself sitting inside a small cafe, much like the one he frequented when he was alive. Placed on the dark-stained wood of the table was a small cup of bold brewed coffee with cream, just how he ordered it before his death. Jongin picked up the cup and took a sip, watching a man leave the front counter and sit across from him.
“Sorry, I was caught up with an assignment. It’s nice to see you. My condolences about your death by the way,” The man addressed Jongin with a bright smile.
“Nah, it’s cool. I’m just glad I can talk to you, Suho.”
“C’mon, I’ve been your dreamwalker for how many years? It’s not like we’re distant pen pals or something.” Suho sipped his coffee, “So spill. What’s on your mind?”
“Well, I got assigned for starters.”
“Hey, that’s good! Why are you so down?”
“I’m an incubus, Suho.”
Suho chuckled, “Seriously? Mister ‘I can’t get a date to save my life’ is an incubus. Wow, who’d you piss off to get that job?”
“No one! They just said I was qualified and left it at that! I can’t even talk to people let alone seduce them!” Jongin lowered his head onto the table in defeat, “I don’t know what to do. Plus they never gave me the manual when I went to earth.”
“You must’ve really pissed them off-”
“I didn’t piss them off!” He pouted as he raised his head.
“Okay, okay. I don’t know much about incubi, but I do know that they have to have sexual contact to feed.”
“Tell me stuff I don’t know, please,” Jongin sighed while Suho shook his head.
“Always so impatient.” He took a breath in. “An incubus’s main food source is sex, but kissing will curb the fatigue. Ah, oh! You probably figured this out, but your eyes are…”
“Like magic. Yeah, that’s how I’m sleeping for free. Continue.”
“That’s pretty much it. I mean you’re pretty lucky you have more options; most incubi can’t bring themselves to do that.”
“I’m bisexual, not shopping for groceries.”
“You might as well be being an incubus now.”
Jongin reached over and slapped Suho on the shoulder, “I came here for help, and all I’m getting is verbal abuse.”
Their surrounding fazed in and out for a few short moments. Suho took that opportunity to stand up, and Jongin followed suit. “You’re going to wake up soon.”
“Yeah,” Jongin looked down at his feet and back up at Suho, “You know sometimes I wish we could hang out for real.”
“What makes you say this isn’t real?”
“Well for starters I would never wear this shirt with these pants.”
Laughing, Suho patted the other’s forearm, “Okay, you caught me. But you know, you’re dead, I’m dead, what’s to say we can’t hang out? Drop by headquarters sometime when you’ve gotten the hang of things.”
Their forms began to fade into translucent shapes, signalling the end of Jongin’s dream. “I’ll see you then.” The boy saluted Suho playfully.
Jongin awoke with a sigh after realizing how screwed he was in his current situation.
“Well, a new day, a new life.”
His head pounded with the thought of having to talk...to actual people. All powerful demon or not, that idea frightened him. Maybe he could ask for a transfer. Being a dreamwalker didn’t sound so bad. He didn’t even have to talk to the dreamer. It was a win-win.
But all the paperwork you would have to go through would be the second death of you. Jongin groaned at the image of dozens of forms he would need to fill out to transfer jobs.
“Stupid afterlife. Why couldn’t they have just let me spend eternity in a penthouse with food or a puppy? It’s a hell of a lot better than this. Wait a minute.” He stopped complaining to himself and hastily ran out the hotel room, flashing a cute smile to the receptionist.
Thirty minutes later he sprawled out onto the soft sheets of his brand new penthouse apartment with a poodle puppy licking at his fingertips. “There, much better. Now, I need a plan.”
Three weeks later Jongin found himself in another bar out of the dozens he has visited with a woman he already forgot the name of (and who most likely forgot his as well).
“So, uh...how about I get you a bubbly drink to match your beautiful personality.”
Good, good. Keep that up, Jongin. It’ll be over soon enough.
“I’d like that a lot.” She winked with a giggle.
Jongin waved over the bartender and chose a random fruity drink, the only one at the bar that was carbonated. He might as well get the girl drunk, so she wouldn’t cringe at his awful pickup techniques. “Make this lovely lady something sparkling.”
The bartender nodded and began mixing up a colorful drink so sugary Jongin nearly gagged from watching him make it. As he continued to mix the alcoholic beverage, the girl currently feeling up Jongin’s bicep giggled, annoying the incubus even more: “So, do you work out? You’re really muscular.”
“I’m a dancer,” Jongin curtly replied. He prevented himself from rolling his eyes. Could this girl be any more desperate for sex? Taking a gentle sip from his beer, he spotted a nice looking man a few feet away. He was talking to some other guy that looked as if he wanted to die than be at the bar at this hour. Maybe he could ditch the girl for him and- “Like a stripper?”
Jongin choked on the alcohol, and some of the liquid dribbled down his chin at her comment. He quickly wiped away the drops and shook his head, “No, no, no. Just a regular dancer.”
“Oh? What a shame.”
Jongin scowled as the bartender slid over the completed drink. He had to get out of this situation as soon as possible. Just a few more minutes and you’re done for the next few days.
“Drink up, beautiful.” He passed the blue and green drink over to the girl, “You know, after this we-”
“Ah! What the hell!” She screamed in anger. The drink Jongin ordered for her tipped over and spilled all over her lap and down her legs.
“Great job, Jongin. You’re gonna starve for the next week,” He scolded himself under his breath. “Here, let me help you clean up.”
“No! Just leave me.” She turned up her post-plastic surgery nose, “To think I was gonna hook up with a stripper.”
With her comment she abruptly stood up and stormed off to the ladies’ room. Sighing, Jongin slumped on the counter, one hand pushing against the skin of his cheek. The bartender looked at him with a mix of sympathy and understanding and solemnly passed him a bottle of hard lemonade: “On the house.”
“Thanks,” The distressed incubus took a large swig. That was the fifth time in the past two weeks he screwed up and the third time he spilled a drink on somebody. The other two times ended with a trip to the ER and to the police station. Jongin shuddered; he didn’t even think that was possible from accidentally tripping someone in the club.
“Rough day?” A light voice asked to his left.
“You have no idea,” Jongin groaned, already feeling weak from the lack of ‘food’ he gets. Turning to face the direction of said voice, he found himself staring at an utterly symmetrical face, specifically the face of the man he was planning on grabbing.
“Ah, I get those sometimes, too. You know consider that drink spilling a blessing. Macy is notorious for being a gold digger,” The man pat Jongin on the back.
Macy, so that was her name. “To be honest I wasn’t that interested in her to begin with.”
“Not into girls?”
“Not all the time.”
“Play for both teams, then?” He leaned back, “I’m more of an all-guys player myself.”
Jongin mentally cheered; this guy was becoming easier and easier to obtain, and he was barely doing anything!
The man held out his hand, “I’m Jongdae.”
“Jongin,” He shook the newcomer’s hand with a genuine smile. Jongdae just radiated friendliness, so he couldn’t help it. Plus his smile was to die for (no pun intended).
“Alright Jongin, how about we have some real fun tonight.”
Multiple shots of alcohol later, both men stumbled out of the bar hand in hand towards Jongin’s apartment. Upon entering the penthouse, Jongdae gaped drunkenly at the vastness of the living space, “Woah, you can fit an entire pool in here.”
Jongin only nodded, not affected by the large amount of alcohol swimming through his system. He yanked onto Jongdae’s sleeve and pulled him closer to his body. Just one kiss to prevent him from collapsing from exhaustion, and then he could fully feed. Rather awkwardly, he leaned in closer and closer to the human, but Jongdae, being the completely wasted man he was, decided to take charge and unsuccessfully dipped Jongin. In a matter of seconds, the incubus dragged him down to the hardwood floor with a loud thump, and Jongdae’s knee slammed down first, probably creating a large bruise from the impact.
“Shit!” Jongdae whined as he cradled his knee in his cupped hands.
“Here, I’ll get you some ice,” Jongin rushed to grab a bag of ice from his freezer but managed to catch his arm onto a glass on the countertop, flinging it onto the floor before he could register what happened. “Oh no.”
Pieces of glass were scattered all around Jongdae’s body, and Jongin had no way to help him.
Let’s just say that Jongin went hungry the rest of the week.
One month later
“Jongin, we’ve been friends for a few weeks now, I know when you’re beating around the bush.”
“Just, meet me at the cafe by the convenience store this afternoon, okay? You’ve interrogated me enough as is, Jongdae.”
“Fine, but that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. I’ll get you talking.”
“I know you will. See you later.”
“I’m deader than dead.”
Jongdae sipped his iced coffee with an expecting look in his eyes, “So, what deep, dark secret were you gonna spill to me?”
Jongin scratched the back of his head. “I’m an incubus,” He hesitantly admitted.
“Seriously? You gotta be shitting me.”
“I’m not joking. I can prove it to you,” Jongin’s voice became quiet at the thought of having to flirt with a stranger. “Except, I’m not that good at picking up people.”
Jongdae laughed, “I figured as much. I mean the first time we met you nearly killed me.”
“We promised never to speak of that again.”
“Fine.” The human leaned onto the table, “Let me get this straight. You are an incubus, but you can’t get with another human being to save your life.”
“Pretty much.”
“Man, who’d you piss off to land this job?”
“Ha, you sound just like my friend. He said the exact same thing.”
“Because you’re a socially awkward, bisexual incubus. Wow, didn’t think those three things would be put together in one sentence.”
“So what am I gonna do?”
“You are going to get up right now and kiss the first person not a senior citizen or minor you see.”
Jongin began to protest as his friend started shoving him towards the entrance to the cafe, “No please, Jongdae. Don’t. I swear to god I’ll use my incubus powers on you if you don’t stop.”
“Why are you so scared?”
“Because…”
“Because what? You don’t like people? Yeah I know people are shitty, but you have to survive, Jongin, and the only way for you to do that is by getting close to people.”
“It’s because I can’t do it to you.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. I can’t go have sex with somebody else because I. Like. You. There, I said it. Ever since we first met I’ve liked you, but I was always scared you wouldn’t like me back.” He took a deep breath to calm his nerves, “You can reject me if you don’t feel that way.”
Jongdae didn’t say anything and Jongin began to worry he said too much until the human male cupped his cheeks and kissed him fully on the lips. “Of course I feel that way. Why’d you think I talked to you in the first place?”
“I hate you, you know that,” Jongin breathily chuckled.
The other smirked, “I know.” He hooked his arm around the incubus’s shoulder, “I guess I’m your personal food source now, huh?”
“Shut up and take me home before I kill you.”
“I’m not worried; I’ve been there before.”
Jongin laughed, and his eyes lit up with a happiness he hadn’t felt since before he died. Perhaps he had a purpose after all.
“Nice to see you in person, Jongin.”
“Nice to see you too.”
“How long has it been since our chat in the coffee shop? Damn, it feels like it’s only been a week.”
“About two years.”
“That long? Time flies.” Suho paused in thought before continuing, “Ever follow through with that job transfer application.”
“I started filling it out, but I burned it.” He thought about Jongdae happily sleeping on their shared bed.
“I think being an incubus isn’t half bad after all.”