Envious of nothing and of everything...
I've found myself... feeling quite introspective tonight. I've begun thinking about where I am, what I've got and how I've got here... and wondered what I've missed to reach that conclusion. I've had some time tonight, since Abby's asleep and, I'm not quite ready for bed, so I thought I'd think about it, talk about it and write it down a little. At very least, it'll feel somewhat theraputic to get it all out. Maybe even find some conclusions that I never realized before. Hey, ya never know, right?
I should probably say that I'm, by no way, unhappy with what I have, who I have and the life I've got. I have a wonderful wife, a child that I can't help but smile when I see her or think of her, and more awesome friends than I can even keep track of. I know there are many others that have significantly less than I have... and while I'm sure I could always ask for more, I also know I'd be doing my entire life a disservice if I ignored what I've got. It's amazing, I love it and I'm thrilled with it all...
But, for the sake of... exploring, I've started wondering what I've missed out in life. Are there experiences that I've missed that I wish I could have cashed in on? Are there opportunities I've missed? And as I've pondered this, I've started looking at the lives of thers... how they've got to where they are now, for good and for bad. I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish I had the chance to go back... to be where they are, again for good or for bad. I won't go into details, cause I'm sure some of it is far TOO personal... but I do look at the happiness of others and I can't help but feel somewhat envious of sorts. I have friends who are super close to someone else, and I wonder - can I say I've got someone that I'm that close to? Yes... and no. I admit, it's a little... sad, to think that... and sadly, it only spirals outwards. Ya start thinking about other things you don't have... experiences you've missed... happinesses that others are enjoying that you can only wish and hope for. It's... actually, pretty depressing, if you let it carry you away.
To put a positive spin on things, though... I start to think of it like this: Okay, I'm envious of others. They have more interesting lives, more friends, more exciting relationships, etc, etc, etc... but is there someone else out there that is looking at me and thinking how good I've got it? The answer, of course, is absolutely - I'm sure that, even to those who seem to have it all, there's bits and pieces of life where they wish they were in my shoes. Like they say - grass is greeer on the other side. I admit, I snicker a bit, thinking someone would want a boring ol' life like mine. But I gotta ask - would I give it up for anything? Probably not. I've seen what it's like when things get "exciting" and I know there's parts of my life that I fully take for granted. Take my whole life away, make it the exciting lives that others are leading, and I can see myself wishing I could get it all back.
So what am I saying in all this.. rambly mess. It's natural to look at others and be envious. There's always elements that you can see that you're missing in life and wish you had it. EVeryone does this - and it's good that you do. It keeps you from settling too much and motivates you to stay active and keep things from being boring. At the same time, don't get too envious. Embrace what you have and the elements of life that makes you who you are. No matter how boring or pedestrian you might think it is, someone out there, is wishing they had exactly what you have. Don't take it for granted in the least. Appreciate it and celebrate it...
I should probably say that I'm, by no way, unhappy with what I have, who I have and the life I've got. I have a wonderful wife, a child that I can't help but smile when I see her or think of her, and more awesome friends than I can even keep track of. I know there are many others that have significantly less than I have... and while I'm sure I could always ask for more, I also know I'd be doing my entire life a disservice if I ignored what I've got. It's amazing, I love it and I'm thrilled with it all...
But, for the sake of... exploring, I've started wondering what I've missed out in life. Are there experiences that I've missed that I wish I could have cashed in on? Are there opportunities I've missed? And as I've pondered this, I've started looking at the lives of thers... how they've got to where they are now, for good and for bad. I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish I had the chance to go back... to be where they are, again for good or for bad. I won't go into details, cause I'm sure some of it is far TOO personal... but I do look at the happiness of others and I can't help but feel somewhat envious of sorts. I have friends who are super close to someone else, and I wonder - can I say I've got someone that I'm that close to? Yes... and no. I admit, it's a little... sad, to think that... and sadly, it only spirals outwards. Ya start thinking about other things you don't have... experiences you've missed... happinesses that others are enjoying that you can only wish and hope for. It's... actually, pretty depressing, if you let it carry you away.
To put a positive spin on things, though... I start to think of it like this: Okay, I'm envious of others. They have more interesting lives, more friends, more exciting relationships, etc, etc, etc... but is there someone else out there that is looking at me and thinking how good I've got it? The answer, of course, is absolutely - I'm sure that, even to those who seem to have it all, there's bits and pieces of life where they wish they were in my shoes. Like they say - grass is greeer on the other side. I admit, I snicker a bit, thinking someone would want a boring ol' life like mine. But I gotta ask - would I give it up for anything? Probably not. I've seen what it's like when things get "exciting" and I know there's parts of my life that I fully take for granted. Take my whole life away, make it the exciting lives that others are leading, and I can see myself wishing I could get it all back.
So what am I saying in all this.. rambly mess. It's natural to look at others and be envious. There's always elements that you can see that you're missing in life and wish you had it. EVeryone does this - and it's good that you do. It keeps you from settling too much and motivates you to stay active and keep things from being boring. At the same time, don't get too envious. Embrace what you have and the elements of life that makes you who you are. No matter how boring or pedestrian you might think it is, someone out there, is wishing they had exactly what you have. Don't take it for granted in the least. Appreciate it and celebrate it...