to extend my previous journal.

[kaiboi]

so once again i had a lil talky talk with my mother. not good by all means.i love her so much and it really hurts me to see her hurting by my actions, but there isnt n/ething else i could do but to live my life the way i kno how to. it sux. yesterday, i was stuck in the garage for 15 mins after i got home from work. wen i got there my dad snuck me in, waving his hand to come around the back. i didnt kno wat he wanted but i went around the back and got into the garage. then my parent wanted me to stay in the garage til my brother and his friend had left. it wasnt too bad cuz it was 15 min but it's kinda a pain in my ass...to tell u the truth...i kinda felt like one of them freaky ppl who are captive in a cell. my own family is ashamed to stand next to me, even to claim relations w/ me. usually i let things like this slide off my shoulders and not think about it again...but it's a continueing action since the day i got back home. i jus dont want to get back to where i started from i worked so hard to get to where i'm at in life and now it's like they want me to break down, break apart...maybe they jus dont see it and even if they did they blame me. "u bring pain to urself..." quoted by my parents....i'm lost and clueless.

then my father told me that i've embarressed him twice since i've been back and the third will be out...i dont kno wat to do. i mean i try really hard to do wat i do...i try hard to be as compromising as i can be. and yet it's not good enough. wtf am i supposed to do? if there is a god...u should hint me some answers like right now cuz i need it.