And the positive
As my friends only post just outlined, I'm not reading LJ right now. I probably won't be back for a long time - I've got a lot of life stuff on that needs my attention - such as my new business, my kids, my degree, and my books. And yeah, they prioritize over friends right now. I'm not one for general sweeping statements, because I have to clause them to death most of the time - and they're passive aggressive nonsense, but I'm prioritizing even my books over friends right now because if I don't, no one will - and friendship - proper friendships that is - can handle it when they're still a priority, but not *the* priority in the world.
I've given so much over the years to people, and I generally don't get it back - and I've given gladly, so that's not a problem, but my giving well is empty, and there's only so often I can listen to someone whine about how I'm leading my life - why I'm not married - how offended they are at something I've done (usually without including them) and some of the other nonsense that's headed my way in the last six months or so.
Newsflash - I've been on massively, stupidly serious medication for six months, and I'm at the point now where I can see things a lot clearer. That clarity tells me that the people that care for me are where I need them to be and the people that barely know me are too. And that in the last six months I've grown up more than anyone will *ever* realize - and it's brought me to the realization that I need time off. So, as with the last post, I'm not *here* any more - not on LJ, and taking a step back in the next few weeks from Facebook, and Twitter.
I'm tired of being 'always on' and feel the burden of that constant spotlight. I don't know about anyone else, but I can't be fresh, insightful and honest, with a razor sharp wit - I can't write the love child of CSI and Law and Order - without being isolated for a bit. I'm regrouping, I'm reading and I'm writing. I'll be back to my old, unburned out self, probably in nine months, post graduation. I may be back sooner.
Till then, keep the light on, and if it's important, for god sake, email me.
I've given so much over the years to people, and I generally don't get it back - and I've given gladly, so that's not a problem, but my giving well is empty, and there's only so often I can listen to someone whine about how I'm leading my life - why I'm not married - how offended they are at something I've done (usually without including them) and some of the other nonsense that's headed my way in the last six months or so.
Newsflash - I've been on massively, stupidly serious medication for six months, and I'm at the point now where I can see things a lot clearer. That clarity tells me that the people that care for me are where I need them to be and the people that barely know me are too. And that in the last six months I've grown up more than anyone will *ever* realize - and it's brought me to the realization that I need time off. So, as with the last post, I'm not *here* any more - not on LJ, and taking a step back in the next few weeks from Facebook, and Twitter.
I'm tired of being 'always on' and feel the burden of that constant spotlight. I don't know about anyone else, but I can't be fresh, insightful and honest, with a razor sharp wit - I can't write the love child of CSI and Law and Order - without being isolated for a bit. I'm regrouping, I'm reading and I'm writing. I'll be back to my old, unburned out self, probably in nine months, post graduation. I may be back sooner.
Till then, keep the light on, and if it's important, for god sake, email me.