14w
Its been a roller-coaster of a week...
-my SIL is ready to deliver her baby boy any day now. We stopped by on Saturday and Sunday and she looks so uncomfortable. I hope I am not as big as she is when I am 38w along!
- my morning sickness isnt gone yet. I tried and went off the pills last friday. I was fine for the most part on Saturday, I was just STARVING! I ate 3x from 6pm to Midnite! Sunday however... we went to do laundry, and by the time I came home... I was hot and starving and so nauseated I was crying in front of the toilet. Monday was more of the same as sunday. I went and picked up the last of my diclectin. :( I feel much better now.
- as I posted earlier. Today is my 2nd anniversary. I have been sober for 2 years. 731 days! I don't know what to say. I am in shock too! Its crazy! Its hard to imagine how much has changed in my world in two years. I can look at myself in the mirror, I am proud of myself. I am trying to remember to stay in the moment... as I made myself pretty sick last year with worry about my cake & chip.
- (M) and I faught again. Over something so stupid. He has a trailer in the US. Well over the last few years he has gone EVERY weekend to the trailer. His son asked if there could be a weekend or two that we don't go to the trailer, that we stay in MTL. So, (M) said to me, "as much as I love going to to the trailer, I will sacrifice and stay in town once in a while..." To which I said that if ever there was a weekend that I did not feel like going with him to the trailer and he really does want to go, for him not to feel bad... and go anyways. He didnt like that, and thought that I meant that this is the beginning of the end and I don't want to spend time with him. The fight got nasty. He was calling me selfish. I was so upset. He went off to his meeting and came back and appologized.
I know this fight stemmed from his insecurities. I know it stemmed from his bad day at work. It just gets to me. I still dont see how what I said caused this whole thing. He's gotta quit taking out his frustrations in life on me! I am not going anywhere. I love him so very much. I accept that he has children, I accept his faults and failings, I accept his blessings. I have accepted everything about him and I have not tried to change one little thing about him! I wish he would do the same for me.
I also know and see a difference in 2y and 10mo of sobriety... Of learning to let go, and let god... of truly accepting a situation as it is meant to be, and not bucking against it because I happen to not agree with it... of truly accepting my faults and trying not to label others. Ive learnt that in order to remain happy and serene, you have to put a stop to allowing the little hamster to run in its wheel all the time. Stop thinking about the what if, and the whys.. and just accept and move on. What is done is done, and what will be will be.
- 2nd trimester begins!!!
- my libido is back! LMFAO!