Twin Paths to Destruction
My Favorite Game
I don't know what you're looking for
you haven't found it baby, that's for sure
You rip me up and spread me all around
in the dust of the deed of time
And this is not a case of lust, you see
it's not a matter of you versus of me
It's fine the way you want me on your own
but in the end it's always me alone
And I'm losing my favourite game
you're losing your mind again
I'm losing my baby
losing my favourite game
I only know what I've been working for
another you so I could love you more
I really thought that I could take you there
but my experiment is not getting us anywhere
I had a vision I could turn you right
a stupid mission and a lethal fight
I should have seen it when my hope was new
my heart is black and my body is blue
And I'm losing my favourite game
you're losing your mind again
I'm losing my favourite game
I've tried but you're still the same
I'm losing my baby
you're losing a saviour and a saint
To My Invisible Audience,
My friend once asked me what my favorite song was. I said I didn't know, that my favorite depended on the situation - when I am happy, my favorite song is a song that describes it; when I am depressed, my favorite song is a song that I resonate with. And right now, I feel as if I am going insane. Not all the words convey the correct feeling, but they are close enough - it is not the words that count sometimes, it is the idea, the impression that counts.
Life is not always kind, and there seems to be a snowball effect these days - the tiny problem, that miniscule obsession has dragged me into the abyss of madness. Always, it is my friend - the pain my friend has gone through, the difficulty my friend goes through. And the worse is the distance - the infernal distance that exists between me and my friend. The fact that I am not trusted, the reality is that I am not wanted - I am an outsider to my friend, despite all my efforts to reverse this predicament. To know of my friend's past sorrows, to understand them - and, ridiculously to my rational mind, to care about my friend so much that I am disturbed by it. That I go through the motions of life with a sickly smile, internally in conflict - reminiscing and in turmoil, trying to come to terms with what my friend has gone through. My burden is my own to bear, but the burden of my friend is mine as well.
I just want to help. I do not want to see my friend sad. But I am not accepted, not part of the core group. It weighs on me, it hurts me. To see my friend self-destructing - the complete and abject frustration of being completely unable to help. Because the help is not wanted, despite the fact that help is needed - my friend needs any help, it doesn't even have to be from me. I worry, I continually wrestle with the problem - I cannot stand it, but I cannot speak up. For all people are proud, and few people will accept help from an outsider these days. In some ways it's good, but in other ways it's horrible. My friend is embarking on a journey down one path to destruction, I am walking down my own path of destruction - we're on twin paths of destruction, madly spiraling towards oblivion.
On the other hand, perhaps I am merely delusional and I am the only one on the path to destruction.
With Sorrow,
Kahlyban.
I don't know what you're looking for
you haven't found it baby, that's for sure
You rip me up and spread me all around
in the dust of the deed of time
And this is not a case of lust, you see
it's not a matter of you versus of me
It's fine the way you want me on your own
but in the end it's always me alone
And I'm losing my favourite game
you're losing your mind again
I'm losing my baby
losing my favourite game
I only know what I've been working for
another you so I could love you more
I really thought that I could take you there
but my experiment is not getting us anywhere
I had a vision I could turn you right
a stupid mission and a lethal fight
I should have seen it when my hope was new
my heart is black and my body is blue
And I'm losing my favourite game
you're losing your mind again
I'm losing my favourite game
I've tried but you're still the same
I'm losing my baby
you're losing a saviour and a saint
To My Invisible Audience,
My friend once asked me what my favorite song was. I said I didn't know, that my favorite depended on the situation - when I am happy, my favorite song is a song that describes it; when I am depressed, my favorite song is a song that I resonate with. And right now, I feel as if I am going insane. Not all the words convey the correct feeling, but they are close enough - it is not the words that count sometimes, it is the idea, the impression that counts.
Life is not always kind, and there seems to be a snowball effect these days - the tiny problem, that miniscule obsession has dragged me into the abyss of madness. Always, it is my friend - the pain my friend has gone through, the difficulty my friend goes through. And the worse is the distance - the infernal distance that exists between me and my friend. The fact that I am not trusted, the reality is that I am not wanted - I am an outsider to my friend, despite all my efforts to reverse this predicament. To know of my friend's past sorrows, to understand them - and, ridiculously to my rational mind, to care about my friend so much that I am disturbed by it. That I go through the motions of life with a sickly smile, internally in conflict - reminiscing and in turmoil, trying to come to terms with what my friend has gone through. My burden is my own to bear, but the burden of my friend is mine as well.
I just want to help. I do not want to see my friend sad. But I am not accepted, not part of the core group. It weighs on me, it hurts me. To see my friend self-destructing - the complete and abject frustration of being completely unable to help. Because the help is not wanted, despite the fact that help is needed - my friend needs any help, it doesn't even have to be from me. I worry, I continually wrestle with the problem - I cannot stand it, but I cannot speak up. For all people are proud, and few people will accept help from an outsider these days. In some ways it's good, but in other ways it's horrible. My friend is embarking on a journey down one path to destruction, I am walking down my own path of destruction - we're on twin paths of destruction, madly spiraling towards oblivion.
On the other hand, perhaps I am merely delusional and I am the only one on the path to destruction.
With Sorrow,
Kahlyban.