Ridiculously Extensive Romania Headcanons
Warning: Ridiculously extensive. I'm not even kidding.
Historic/Cultural
(of course, there’s a lot of historical stuff scattered through the rest of them as well, and those will be indicated with an asterisk [*].)
He has a split personality, each representing Wallachia, Moldavia, and Transylvania.
Because of this, before unification in 1866 he had a tendency to argue or talk to himself without actually realizing it, leading those around him to believe he’s crazy.
He’s extremely fond of hats. (Have you seen how many hats the man possesses?)
Vlad Tepes is to him what Old Fritz is to Prussia. (Vlad Tepes, or “The Impaler,” is considered a monster in many parts of the world. However, in Romania, his war against the Ottoman Empire is seen very much like a David fighting Goliath - that is, someone extremely small fighting against someone immensely larger and winning.)
The only thing he hates more than being called a vampire is being called a gypsy. You WILL die. (Romania is hardly the only person who has to deal with gypsies, but he is the one confused for one most often thanks to the Romani.)
Hungary often calls him “Erdély”, the Hungarian name for “Transylvania”, in order to remind him that Transylvania is really hers. It’s not, and they fight about this all the time. (Literally all the time, up until the fifties at least.)
Whenever he was being extremely Transylvania, his feelings for her would get… conflicted. He had a tendency to hang around her house a lot.
She took brutal advantage of this during Erzsebet Bathory’s time. (Erzsebet Bathory was a Hungarian countess who lived around the earlier sixteenth century and is often credited with being on the first vampires. She was known for killing virgins and bathing in their blood, but how much about her beyond that is really true is unknown.)
He’s not racist, but most people think he is because of his sense of humor. They don’t often stick around for his self-deprecation. (Essentially, he’s so racist he’s no longer racist at all. If that makes any sense.)
Romania is an excellent gymnast, which is odd considering he is a fail!dancer.
He is a horrible, terrible, judge of character. Nine times out of ten, his first impression is entirely wrong. (Pick a random point in history and look at one of his leaders. Odds are they weren’t that great.)
He and Turkey, nowadays, get along surprisingly well.
So do he and Russia.
He would still prefer NOT to have to deal with them, though.
He and the Netherlands already have to bear jokes regarding Dracula and Van Helsing (most of them from Ireland), but rather than bring them together, that’s made their relationship somewhat… strained. This was emphasized when Romania stole tulips from him, prompting the War of the Tulips. (I’m not even kidding.)
He has a kink for blood (unsurprisingly), and has a morbid fascination with death, dying, and all things related to it. If you get him started on a mode of death, he'll describe it in vivid detail. (It’s said that he has Ceaucescu’s trial and execution on video.)
He likes drinking.
A lot.
During the late eighties, he, Bulgaria, Hungary and Prussia all stood on each other’s shoulders to try and climb over the Iron Curtain. Only he managed it (due to shameless trickery and manipulation), leading to an extremely bloody 1989 revolution.
He is stubborn.
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Relationships
Romania is an utterly hopeless romantic - he cries at every romance, tragic or not, and will ship regardless of who it is.
With women and girls, he is a complete gentleman. Hungary is the exception. He does, after all, celebrate Valentine's Day twice, once with the rest of the world and once on his own.
However, when it comes to men, he’s more of a sadistic flirt. They aren’t girls, so he doesn’t believe they should be treated like them, and he appreciates the same sentiments back.
He is a gold digger and a bit of a swinger.
Up until recently, he’s tried not to get too close to people because a) they would betray him, b) he would betray them, c) he would scare them away, or d) all of the above. He’s only managed to stay on good terms with a few nations for longer than a century or so.
He’s actually very friendly and, in short conversations, can come across as normal. It’s once you start really talking to him that he starts to scare you.
He likes children in general, but he isn’t very good with them.
He is capable of yandere, but doesn’t believe it when it’s pointed out to him.
He is not overly fond of crowds, but he’s capable of socialising. He just prefers to keep his own (or Norway’s, England’s, or Bulgaria’s) company.
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Romania-Bulgaria
They are best friends who have the tendency to fight a lot.
However, people mistake them for gay more than they’d like.
Once, Romania’s antics left limbs and pieces of flesh in one of Bulgaria’s flowerbeds. Bulgaria has never let him forget this.
(Then Romania points out that he has a former boss’s heart in a jar, and Bulgaria will retort that at least he doesn’t sleep in a coffin, to which Romania responds “I didn’t shoot myself with an umbrella.” Then they go out for yoghurt and drinks and all is forgiven.)
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Romania-Norway
Remember how he’s a gold digger? Primarily, it’s for Norway. Norway has been seduced convinced into giving him money, and more money, and more money, and more money…*
They’re very fond of each other, actually, and have gotten along well since they began communicating regularly.*
They first met in 1917 and kept semi-regular contact up until 1955. After this, contact slowly began to fade until the last couple of years of the Ceaucescu Regime, when it stopped completely. By 1991, Romania only just remembered who Norway was.*
Because of this, they have hardly anything to do with each other - personally, anyway. That’s why it’s easier for them to be close, there aren’t centuries of complicated relations mucking things up.*
(All of the above taken from their respective histories. Embassies are so helpful.)
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Romania-Hungary
If you speak Homestuck lingo, they’re kismesis for each other. That’s really the simplest way to put it.
To put it in regular English, they’re two arch-rivals who hate each other so much they are sexually attracted to one another.
In other words, only Hungary is allowed to beat up Romania and vice-versa, at least in recent years. They claim they’re trying to build a more civil relationship, and if they really wanted to they could, but they would miss fighting too much.
Although, he’s certainly not opposed to helping her with her lovelife. Really and truely. Same goes for her, though neither believes it.
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Romania-Italies
They’re cousins on Grandpa Rome’s side.
This is why Romania is a little bit flighty and fails a lot. It runs in the family.
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Romania-Prussia
For centuries, they shared the ruling House of Hohenzollern, so they call each other “cousin” as a nickname.* (The Hohenzollern house extended to Germany as well and lasted well over 500 years. They were almost like the Habsburgs, but less famous.)
Romania is nowadays to Prussia what Hungary is to Poland. Thus, Romania and Prussia will often get together to annoy Poland and Hungary.
Romania is a huge PruHun shipper-on-deck, ever since they were children.
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Romania-America
The first thing America asked Romania when they first met was, “Are you a rock star?!” Upon being told no, he was disappointed and continued to try and find ways to figure out if Romania was a vampire or not. The last question he asked was, “Do you sparkle?”, which nearly resulted in an international incident. (Anne Rice’s Lestat was the first well-known vampire rock star, and her writing influenced vampire fiction for decades.)
Romania and America are pretty good friends, though. Romania’s helped him try to freak England out plenty of times.
Romania is almost always eager to help America with something. Whether this is for good relations or because Romania has an ulterior motive, no one ever knows.
America’s recent fascination with vampires, occult, and faery tales has led Romania to ban him from entering his home without a really, really fucking good reason. He’s tired of being nagged about it, since England and Norway have long since learned how to ignore America.
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Romania-England
Romania does not dislike England, but they’re not the best of friends. He actually thinks that being friends with England is a little difficult.
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Romania-Moldova
They’re brothers who used to spend quite a bit of time together.
Romania misses him bitterly. He’s not very good at showing this in a healthy manner, though.
Even now, Romania’s constantly trying to get Moldova to at least come over for dinner or something. When he succeeds, there is much rejoicing…
…before they remember why they stopped hanging out together in the first place.
Romania’s general idea of him is, “If we weren’t so alike, I’d like you a whole lot more.” He doesn’t know this, but that’s Moldova’s idea too.
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Misc.
Because everyone has always told him he’s crazy or believed he was crazy, he outright states that he’s crazy. He half-believes it.
He loves to dance. This doesn’t mean he’s good at it.
He’s also fond of striking or gothic outfits, despite the stereotypes it entails.
Romania is a good actor and a pathological liar.
Everyone knows about this, and takes it into account.
Thus, he’s rather shocked when people take him seriously without question.
He claims that he isn’t a vampire, but a casual glance around his home and habits will beg strongly to differ. However, he’s right: he’s just as human as any other nation.
Nobody cares.
When bored, he’ll wander off on his own and never tell you about it.
He is not a mermaid, nor is he a mervamp.
He has a habit of convincing people to do/not to do something by exaggerating horrific consequences of the undesired course of action (“If you run in front of me while I'm swinging, I'll end up kicking you and you'll fly backward into the fence, bashing your head on the wood and spilling your brains everywhere. Not only will this be incredibly painful, it'll also be expensive to clean up.” “If you dance in that scarf, it'll get caught on someone's arm and strangle you to death.” “Swimming at night in that lake could cause the monster to drag you to the depths and drown you while you gasp for breath and claw at the air, and I stand above you and laugh.”) in a completely deadpan voice.
He doesn’t know that’s not socially acceptable.
His morbid fascination with death has caused him to try various methods of killing himself (poison, starvation, strangulation) or self-harm, just to see if it's like how people describe. Thus, he's very creative when it comes to killing people.
However, he'll always have a special place in his heart for impalement.
His “tell” (the way you know if one is lying or not) is playing with one of his earrings. He’s normally conscious of this and keeps it to a minimum, but will forget about that when talking to someone he’s close to.
He's pretty scatterbrained as a general rule: rather forgetful, he doesn't seem to be listening when you speak to him, or he talks too much.
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Magic Trio
If they’re performing a seance, nine times out of ten Romania will be the medium. This is because he’s the easiest out of the three of them for a spirit to possess.
He and Norway are closer than he and England or Norway and England. Often in an argument they’ll side with each other, since they both percieve England to be an arrogant, bitchy leader. (Which he is.)
Contrary to what England and Norway believe, he takes magic very seriously. He’s still more laid-back than they are, though.
When it comes to magic, he likes ritual best -- similar in form to alchemy, it's reminiscent of his heavily ritual-based folklore and has a greater chance of success.
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Alternate Universe
He is a Slytherin, but was almost a Ravenclaw.
In the Hunger Games universe, he would be from District 11.
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Human AU
Hungary has a habit of laying seige to his house, so he doesn’t end up leaving the building nearly as often as he’d like.
He is anemic and slightly sociopathic.- He, Prussia, Hungary and Austria are all lumped together, despite not being very fond of each other at all. Rather, they’re all friends because they have no one else.
- He practices voudoun.
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(these headcanons subject to update/change)