(no subject)
okokok. i KNOW i said i was really superexcited for graduation. but now i'm just scared out of my mind. i'll admit it. it's not a pleasant thought anymore.
i see images in my head like a movie. they're just memories that haven't happened yet. but they're making me really... i don't know. i see myself in a cap and gown walking across a stage to accept the ticket to the rest of my life. i see a sea of black silly hats flying into the air. these hats were once on heads, most of which i will never see again. i see myself wondering why the things in most of those heads ever mattered to me. i see my mother crying after graduation. i see my friends and i at grad nite, but it's awkward because we won't have much in common anymore, now that we all don't go to the same school. i see us not really having the summer i know we're all dreaming of. i see us all spending our summers apart and not together like we envision. i see us stuck in our houses instead of out at the beach because we're so scared to leave them behind. i see myself in tears as one by one my friends all leave and i find out how alone i will be now that they're gone. i see myself excited for college on move in weekend. i see myself buying extra long sheets, getting them in the mail, packing them in a box, putting them on my new college mattress. i see myself hating college already five minutes after my parents leave me there for the final time. i see myself calling them to come back just one last time, and then i SWEAR you can leave me. really. i see myself scared as hell going to my first meal in a dining hall alone. i see myself scared as hell to offend my roommate. i see myself scared as hell to become someone that i don't want to be, someone that parties and smokes. i see myself scared as hell. i see myself scared as hell. i see myself scared as hell. see myself scared as hell. i see myself scared as hell. i see myself scared as hell. see myself scared as hell. i see myself scared as hell. i see myself scared as hell. see myself scared as hell. i see myself scared as hell. i see myself scared as hell... . . . . . . . . .
i see images in my head like a movie. they're just memories that haven't happened yet. but they're making me really... i don't know. i see myself in a cap and gown walking across a stage to accept the ticket to the rest of my life. i see a sea of black silly hats flying into the air. these hats were once on heads, most of which i will never see again. i see myself wondering why the things in most of those heads ever mattered to me. i see my mother crying after graduation. i see my friends and i at grad nite, but it's awkward because we won't have much in common anymore, now that we all don't go to the same school. i see us not really having the summer i know we're all dreaming of. i see us all spending our summers apart and not together like we envision. i see us stuck in our houses instead of out at the beach because we're so scared to leave them behind. i see myself in tears as one by one my friends all leave and i find out how alone i will be now that they're gone. i see myself excited for college on move in weekend. i see myself buying extra long sheets, getting them in the mail, packing them in a box, putting them on my new college mattress. i see myself hating college already five minutes after my parents leave me there for the final time. i see myself calling them to come back just one last time, and then i SWEAR you can leave me. really. i see myself scared as hell going to my first meal in a dining hall alone. i see myself scared as hell to offend my roommate. i see myself scared as hell to become someone that i don't want to be, someone that parties and smokes. i see myself scared as hell. i see myself scared as hell. i see myself scared as hell. see myself scared as hell. i see myself scared as hell. i see myself scared as hell. see myself scared as hell. i see myself scared as hell. i see myself scared as hell. see myself scared as hell. i see myself scared as hell. i see myself scared as hell... . . . . . . . . .