[fic] Five Steps: Memories of us
Four more steps. I saw my family with happy faces. My mom was crying, I can see her tears going down her cheeks and her handkerchief clenched in her hand. My uncle, who brought me to where I am right now smiled and gave me a thumbs up. I wish I could shout: “Thank you so much, Uncle!” and hug him for letting me meet this wonderful man.
Then I remembered the scandal we experienced after the riverside dinner and the kiss. Someone was already taking pictures of us, his hand around my shoulder, holding hands and smiling at each other. The kiss! How was he able to take a picture of that-unless somebody tipped him where we’re going. Sungmin doesn’t tell anybody except his manager and his band mates if he’s home late. Someone might’ve heard him telling them and followed us.
Next thing I know, those photographs were plastered over the Internet, tabloids and showbiz shows. Both of us had a very, very hard time during that ordeal. Sungmin didn’t drive me back to the dorm anymore, our managers did. We were both grilled by the media every they could see us, separate or not. Reporters were waiting outside our dorms, outside the studio and outside the SME Building, hoping to catch anyone that could prove these pictures true.
We were out in the public.
Sungmin sneaked me in one of the empty practice rooms one day. He locked the door, remained the lights off. When he was sure nobody can disturb them, he moved towards me and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back. “I missed you, Sunkyu.” He murmured into my hair.
It was a long time since we were able to see each other-our managers prohibited us from meeting each other. They didn’t know about our relationship, and thankfully our friends were also quiet about it. When they found out, they cast us weary glances and talked to us, hoping that it wouldn’t damage the newly-born relationship. But then, we assured them it’s okay-there’s still Chunji, text messages, calling and Internet, though we do have to be very careful. I don’t want manager-oppa catching me, and I don’t want Sungmin’s manager-oppa catching him too.
I hugged him closer. “I missed you too.” Though we were seeing each other every night because of Chunji, we can’t act like a couple in front of them. If we do-that’s just simply adding fuel to the fire. We can’t let the public know us yet because we’re still in the peak of our careers. Sungmin’s busy with Suju-H and Suju-T’s planning, and we were working on our comeback album. And other work that I am suddenly forgetting. Forget that, it’s not important right now.
We stayed like that for awhile, enjoying the closeness of each other. Then he pressed a light kiss on my lips.
“It’s like we don’t see each other every night, Sungmin.” I joked. We were sitting against the wall, our hands intertwined together and my head was on his shoulder. We looked at the glass wall opposite the wall we were leaning on, the sun was setting.
He smiled. “It’s not the same thing though. Though I do still get to bully you, it’s not the same. Well it’s not like something really big changed-“
“-Hey! You bullied me even more! Your smile gets bigger when your little antics are done.”
“Okay fine, I admit. I bully you more. But you just look so cute!” He pinched my cheeks. Then he smiled and said, “Heck, I even miss us talking like this. Talking freely to each other, not minding what the media would think.”
“Yeah.” I replied. Reality bites. Well, I did expect that whatever relationship would occur in our bands would be a very huge scandal. “I don’t get it though, why are the people so angry when they find out that their idols are in a relationship?”
“I don’t get it either-but it’s life. They’ll understand it eventually. We’re humans too-nothing’s bad about falling in love.”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “What would we do know? I just want this ordeal to finish. Or I want the people to accept us.”
“It’s not the matter of them accepting us, but I think they have trouble digesting that Lee Sungmin, the man who is sometimes prettier than a woman, has a woman.”
“HEY.” I hit him in the shoulder. “That’s one thing I hate about you. You’re so arrogant about your appearance.”
“It’s not like you like my face, Lee Sunkyu.” He retorted back with a huge smile on his face. The smile that says: “Uh-oh, get ready! Lee Sungmin’s antics begin.”
Two things to combat that smile: either to bully him back or to ignore him. This time, I’ll bully him back. Let’s just see what happens.
“It’s not like you like my pretty face too, Lee Sungmin.” I countered. “You’re such a conceited person! Never found a man who is so concerned about his aegyo-ness before I met you.”
“Like you aren’t?”
“Hey! It comes naturally you know.”
“Like mine doesn’t.”
“And Heechul-oppa doesn’t count on that aegyo thing. He’s more concerned If he looks handsome or not.” I replied back once I saw his mouth open. “His aegyo comes naturally too though. But his is more forced.”
“Naturally and forced in one word about one person.” Sungmin mused. “You are one odd woman, Lee Sunkyu.”
“Shut up.” I said. I pouted and moved a bit from him. Next choice to his bullying: ignoring him.
“Aww, come on, Sunkyu!” He said, moving closer to me. Little did I know that his hands were near my sides, the place where I am most ticklish. I wasn’t looking at him, that’s a part of the ignoring thing.
I shrieked when I felt him tickle me. When I faced him, I was surprised to feel him kissing me again. I didn’t realize that I was lying on the floor of the practice room, his hands on either side of my head. My eyes were wide with surprise, but I closed them once I started to reply to the kiss. When we stopped for breath, I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine.
“No matter how much you pride yourself of your aegyo-ness and looks, I’ll love you Lee Sungmin.” I said.
“No matter how much you try to bully me but still fail every single time you do so, I’ll love you Lee Sunkyu.” He replied. This time he kissed me lightly, but with passion.
A few minutes later, we sat back to our original positions. It was night time already, the sun has already set. It was Saturday, so there was no Chunji. My schedule for Sunday starts late in the afternoon, so I didn’t have to hurry and Sungmin had the day off. Lucky man.
My head was on his shoulder once more, and our hands were intertwined once more. Outside the room we hear the laughs of the trainees as they finish their classes, staff talking to each other about future projects and such. It was such a busy place outside, people always on the go. Maybe that’s the reason why we can’t see the real reason people do things. Like our relationship. People only see who we are outside-idols always working for their good. We’d get ourselves overworked for their happiness, but when they do find out, they worry for us so much. I hate to say it, but sometimes even my uncle treats me like a machine. Doesn’t break down, whatever you do and follows all commands.
Could the world just slow down, see the person beyond what we really see and know them? Maybe that’s the key to world peace! Maybe that’s the key so we can finally resolve the problem with North Korea! Maybe-
“Sunny to earth!” Sungmin said. “You were staring out the buildings. You must’ve been thinking again.”
I blinked a couple of times and shook my head to get myself out of my thoughts. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking. Sorry.”
“Thinking about me?”
“Hah. You wish.”
Then we remained silent.
I was tired with the taping that I did that day, plus I found the empty practice room relaxing too. And Sungmin’s cologne this time is really relaxing. Must know what he’s using so I can get the For Women version.
I found myself slowly nodding off to slumber when Sungmin started to speak again. “I remember the night we first kissed. That’s the time I confessed to you.”
“I’ll never forget that night.” I replied sleepily.
“I’ll never forget it too. I love you, Lee Sunkyu.” He looked down to me and he saw I was sleeping. He pressed a quick kiss to me forehead and laid his head on top of mine. Since he was also tired, he soon closed his eyes to sleep.
The next morning, I woke up on something soft. I realized that I slept on his legs-how I got there, I don’t know. He was sleeping with his mouth a little bit open, and a small trail of drool on the right side of his chin. He looked so innocent and cute while sleeping. I stood up, and realized that there was a blanket draped over me. “We didn’t have a blanket when we came in.” I thought. I found a note near me foot. I got it and read aloud:
“ ‘You guys look so cute together.
Manager-oppa looked for you guys, and I said you returned back to your parents for the night and forgot to tell you. I also said you didn’t want to be disturbed for awhile, you wanted to have some peace in the midst of the scandal. He said alright.
There was a blanket in the cabinet for some reason. Draped it over you, it gets chilly in the night. I’ve slept here many times too.
Sungmin, your manager’s in China so you’re sort of free. Hate you for getting the day off.
Love,
Taengoo’
Taeyon-unni? Oh well, I gotta thank her this time.”
“What about Taeyon?” Sungmin said. He was just getting up. He noticed the paper that I was holding and grabbed it from my hands.
“Hey!” I said a little too loudly. He put a finger on his mouth, signaling me to shut up. He read the letter and smiled.
“You owe Taeyon one.” He said and kissed me on the forehead. “I know that.” I replied, folding the blanket and placing it back to the cabinet.
“Let’s go, we don’t want to be caught you know.” Sungmin said, stretching. “I’ll go first, meet me at my car then I’ll drop you by your dorm.”
He fixed his appearance made sure he still looked presentable but made sure that he looked like he practiced his butt off last night. He then waved goodbye and left. I waited for a few minutes and walked out the practice room. I went to his car and he dropped me off my parents instead, getting a quick change of clothes. Then he left for his apartment.
My parents were out, so I just changed and called my manager to pick me up. I can’t use my car which was parked in the garage ‘cause I don’t know how I’ll return it and go back to the dorm.
My manager arrived ten minutes later, picked me up. When we were near the dorm, he told me, “It’s okay for me-your relationship with Sungmin. I find it cute, really. Just don’t get caught.” We arrived at the building and I replied, “Thank you, Manager-oppa. I’m happy you’re okay with it.” I went straight to my dorm, thankful that there was no media waiting for me to reply to the rumors again. I keyed in the code for our dorm and went straight to the living room. The rest were crouched over the computer, looking at something.
“Hey guys, what are you looking at?” I asked, walking towards the computer.
“Oh, Sunny you’re here!” Jessica said. “Look.” She pointed to the computer screen. There was a picture of me and Sungmin, sitting together. Then there was another picture of us sleeping, me using his lap as a pillow.
Uh-oh. It’s about time my Uncle hears about this.
We were forbidden to see each other again to stop the rumors from further flying around. I wanted to say it out in the open, so that we can be free! Well, there’s no privacy and freedom in this business, but I just wanted to be with Sungmin without thinking about the paparazzi hoping to capture our next move or something. Well, there’ll still be paparazzi, but at least I know they’re not waiting for us to cuddle up to each other so they can make money out of our…relationship.
I don’t want to lie to other people too. I don’t want to lie to my fans about our relationship. I haven’t told my parents about it yet, but I think they’ll agree. Sungmin’s my friend for a long time now, and they’ve seen me banter with him in Chunji already. I don’t want to continue this charade anymore.
A few days after the pictures were released, Uncle called me into his office.
When I entered, I found Sungmin sitting in one of the chairs in front of the coffee table with coffee in hand. “Ah, Sunkyu.” Uncle greeted me. “Glad you can come.”
Only ten people call me Sunkyu in the whole SMTown family-my eight other bandmates, Sungmin and my Uncle, who is the mastermind behind the whole company. They’re the people whom I’m closest with. The rest? They call me Sunny. I like it actually, ‘cause I like brightening up people’s gloomy and tired days.
I smiled at him. I sat down near Sungmin, but there was still some distance in between us. When I finally made myself comfortable, I looked at Sungmin. “Wish us luck.” I thought.
“I’ll get straight to the point. I’ve seen those photos and I’ve talked to your managers about it. Sunkyu, as your boss, we might be able to profit from this, but be ready with never-ending intrigues about you and Sungmin. As your uncle, I’m happy that you’ve found a man like him. He’s really hardworking, kind and respectful to his seniors and elders. I’ve seen you both bully each other in Chunji, and I have to admit it really is very amusing and cute. And you guys made me laugh.”
We both blushed at that comment. I just can’t imagine my uncle laughing in front of his computer screen. He doesn’t seem like that, for some reason. Or probably I just can’t imagine my boss laughing at me and my boyfriend.
Ooh, boyfriend. I like the sound of that.
“Both of your managers are supportive on this relationship, and I think your fans would be apprehensive at first, but once they realize how cute both of you are, they’ll support you.”
I sighed of relief, and I saw Sungmin doing the same.
“And I know you want to hold Sunkyu’s hand, Sungmin.”
He smiled at that comment and eventually held my hand which was inches from his. I squeezed his hand and looked at him, smiling. “Finally, Uncle’s okay!”
“Thank you, Seonsaengnim.”
“Nah, I think you’ll be calling me family pretty soon. Seeing how things are right now, marriage won’t be far away.”
Oh dear God, how red could my cheeks get? I let go of his hand and put my hands on each of my cheeks.
“Ai goo, please stop it!” Sungmin was also getting red from the embarrassment he’s getting from his ultimate boss. He tried getting some words out, but somehow he can’t speak.
“It’s not obvious though. You both have ‘Lee’ on your surnames. You could get married and we’ll keep everything hush-hush until my niece here gets pregnant.”
“Uncle!”
“Seonsaengnim!”
We both said at the same time. “Alright. Just think of this now. If you plan to expose your relationship, you’ll be confronted with endless gossips, tabloid stories and paparazzi. But I think I can strengthen your security.”
“What about Chunji?”
“Just holding hands, nothing else. Bicker like you would and still maintain the formalities.”
“PDA outside? Dates?”
“Discreetly. But you can only do it once you’ve announced it to the public.”
I never thought he’d actually be this lenient, but nevertheless I was thankful. Announced it to the public. Announced it to the public. Another hurdle.
We walked out of the office hand in hand, not caring about receiving stares from people. What matters most is we’re happy.
“Should we reveal to the public?” Sungmin asked one day, drinking shake. It was a couple of weeks after our talk with my Uncle. We were able to meet each other despite our very busy schedules. His rehearsals for the upcoming concert in Shanghai were everyday now, and we were preparing for our second album launch.
“I think we should. I mean, we should formally announce it. People have been seeing us holding hands already, they just need confirmation.”
“Tomorrow Chunji?”
“Prepare what you’re going to say, I’ll most likely forget what I’ll say unless it’s on paper. Then let’s eat after.” I proposed.
“Okay.” He glanced at his wrist watch. “I have to go back to rehearsal. See you tonight!” Then he pressed a quick kiss on my lips. Quick, but sweet. “Bye Sunny!”
“Bye, Minnie!” That’s my nickname for him, since he likes it when he dresses up like a girl and looks prettier than me. He glanced back and stuck his tongue out.
“Whatever, I’m still prettier than you!” He shouted back.
I smiled. “Some things never change.”
But then, I realized when we made that decision, our lives were starting to make our dreams reality. Dreams we never thought would come true. We were making our visions into reality.
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