. . . And the Subject of Bullying
Many of my friends have recently become or are about to become new parents. Because of this, I see a lot of blog posts about raising children. One of the topics that is addressed is bullying.
I agree that children need to be taught that bullying is bad. However, some parents take it too far. They insist that in life, nobody should ever experience what could even be considered bullying, even if it is explained that it isn't true and is only for play, thus not hurting anybody.
I certainly wasn't raised to believe pretend bullying is bad. I can say with certainty that I did things I didn't know were prejudiced or racist. I only did them because I thought it was fun and the prejudiced and racist things went right over my head. I didn't understand that the rhyme that starts "Chinese people are so funny" is racist. I thought it was just a silly rhyme. Of course, I didn't understand the end of it and didn't think it was true. However, that led to me simply thinking it was funny. It was my guess that some Chinese kid brought the rhyme to America.
In these times, protecting children is a good thing, but it's not the end all and be all of the world. What happens when they find out that the world isn't fair? What happens when the first person finally bullies them in some way?
I'm saying this as a person who has been bullied all her life. Some people still continue to bully me to this day. There are people who just don't know how to be civil.
I don't try to bully people. I never mean to bully anybody. I don't want people to feel bullied. That's never my intention. I will tell the truth, but I don't bully people.
I was raised to learn to play, though. I was raised to learn to vent anger in other ways. One of my favorite games to play in a group is "Usually I like everybody." A person stands in the center of a circle of people in chairs and says, "Usually I like everybody, but today, I don't like anybody who . . ." This is followed by things like, "is a girl," "has green eyes," "owns a dog," and other random silly items that really don't matter at all. The people that have that characteristic all have to get up, run (along with the person that was in the center), and get to a new chair. There's always one less chair than number of players. The player left in the center doesn't lose. It is then that player's turn to say, "Usually, I like everybody, but today . . ." It is a good way to vent anger. Nobody has to know what is behind a person's thoughts.
My friends are in a production of "Hairspray." One of the nicest people I know is playing Amber von Tussle. She is the meanest girl in that show. My friend is a school teacher at a not-so-great school. I can imagine that it is fun for her to get out her frustrations about things by playing the mean girl that she isn't.
My sister and I recite dialogue from Veggie Tales and I am often Archibald Asparagus. Why? Because I can be the "straight man" and get irritated with the silliness that is happening even though I'm not truly irritated. It gives me a way to vent about the things bothering me in life.
Does it get better? Yes, it does. Will it completely stop? No, because there are ignorant people in this world. Sometimes there are people who only know how to cause drama in other people's lives. Does bullying need to stop? Yes. However, completely avoiding all types of things that could possibly be considered bullying is not the answer. The answer is sitting down with children and teaching them what is bullying and why it is wrong and what is playing.
Disclaimer: This entry was written for therealljidol on the Week 11 topic of "Recency Bias."
I agree that children need to be taught that bullying is bad. However, some parents take it too far. They insist that in life, nobody should ever experience what could even be considered bullying, even if it is explained that it isn't true and is only for play, thus not hurting anybody.
I certainly wasn't raised to believe pretend bullying is bad. I can say with certainty that I did things I didn't know were prejudiced or racist. I only did them because I thought it was fun and the prejudiced and racist things went right over my head. I didn't understand that the rhyme that starts "Chinese people are so funny" is racist. I thought it was just a silly rhyme. Of course, I didn't understand the end of it and didn't think it was true. However, that led to me simply thinking it was funny. It was my guess that some Chinese kid brought the rhyme to America.
In these times, protecting children is a good thing, but it's not the end all and be all of the world. What happens when they find out that the world isn't fair? What happens when the first person finally bullies them in some way?
I'm saying this as a person who has been bullied all her life. Some people still continue to bully me to this day. There are people who just don't know how to be civil.
I don't try to bully people. I never mean to bully anybody. I don't want people to feel bullied. That's never my intention. I will tell the truth, but I don't bully people.
I was raised to learn to play, though. I was raised to learn to vent anger in other ways. One of my favorite games to play in a group is "Usually I like everybody." A person stands in the center of a circle of people in chairs and says, "Usually I like everybody, but today, I don't like anybody who . . ." This is followed by things like, "is a girl," "has green eyes," "owns a dog," and other random silly items that really don't matter at all. The people that have that characteristic all have to get up, run (along with the person that was in the center), and get to a new chair. There's always one less chair than number of players. The player left in the center doesn't lose. It is then that player's turn to say, "Usually, I like everybody, but today . . ." It is a good way to vent anger. Nobody has to know what is behind a person's thoughts.
My friends are in a production of "Hairspray." One of the nicest people I know is playing Amber von Tussle. She is the meanest girl in that show. My friend is a school teacher at a not-so-great school. I can imagine that it is fun for her to get out her frustrations about things by playing the mean girl that she isn't.
My sister and I recite dialogue from Veggie Tales and I am often Archibald Asparagus. Why? Because I can be the "straight man" and get irritated with the silliness that is happening even though I'm not truly irritated. It gives me a way to vent about the things bothering me in life.
Does it get better? Yes, it does. Will it completely stop? No, because there are ignorant people in this world. Sometimes there are people who only know how to cause drama in other people's lives. Does bullying need to stop? Yes. However, completely avoiding all types of things that could possibly be considered bullying is not the answer. The answer is sitting down with children and teaching them what is bullying and why it is wrong and what is playing.
Disclaimer: This entry was written for therealljidol on the Week 11 topic of "Recency Bias."