The Corny Jokes - As Promised!
The other day theferrett wrote about how he said something very dry and sarcastic and kind of corny to his daughter. The thing is, my Daddy did that exact same thing to me and it was at the grocery store, no less!
In the comments, there were also some corny jokes.
My family knows tons of these things, including myself.
I'd mention "The Smart Test," but that is something that really has to be experienced.
We "SPARK" kids know it well, though.
For quite awhile, this was my favorite to do to my sister:
Me: Do you want just one arm?
Her: No.
Me: Do you want two arms?
Her: Yes.
Me: Do you want three arms?
Her: No.
Me: Do you want forearms?
Her: No.
Me: (taking her arms and pretending to cut them off at the elbows) Okay.
Now, for more . . . (just using A and B, though yes, I have gotten people with these jokes! Also, these are just a few of them that could be though of at this time!)
A: I once knew a man with with snew in his blood.
B: What's snew?
A: Oh, not much. What's new with you?
A: (pouring a drink or piling food on a plate) Just say when
B: Stop.
A: (continues to pour or pile)
B: That's enough.
A: (continues to pour or pile) I told you to say (stressing the last word) when.
B: when.
A: (Finally stops pouring or piling)
A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
(Here, there are two possible types of reponses from B, either very eager or running away not wanting to hear the dirty joke.)
A: (Reacting to B) A pig fell in the mud.
(This joke is best done when discussing music.)
A: Oh! why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
b: (Whatever answer is given, and if it is right, it ends.)
A: Because they ran around saying, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
A: A man walks into a a psychologist's office in a panic. He yells, "I'm
wigwam! I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee!" The psychologist goes to him and calms him down. Then what does he say?
B: ---
A: Calm down, you're two tents! (too tense).
A: What do you call a sailor who goes from Asia to America and America to Asia without taking a bath?
B: ---
A: A dirty double crosser!
(This joke needs to be said quickly so the person doesn't catch onto what's being said
A: If a rooster lays on top a pointed roof (making hands into a pointed roof shape for an example) and lays an egg, which way will the egg roll?
B: (hopefully didn't catch onto the joke and give some answer)
A: Neither! Roosters don't lay eggs!
(This joke needs to be said quickly so the person doesn't catch onto what's being said.
A: which is incorrect? (Quickly, but acting sincere about the question)
The yolk of an egg are white or the yolk of an egg is white?
B: (who hopefully answers "is")
A: Neither! The yolk of an egg is yellow!
A: If two is a couple and three is a crowd, what is four and five?
B: ---
A: Nine!
(This joke needs to be said quickly so the person doesn't catch onto what's being said.
A: How many animals did Moses take on the ark?
B: (Hopefully giving some answer of two of each)
A: None! Moses didn't take any animals on an ark! Noah did!
(This joke needs to be said quickly so the person doesn't catch onto what's being said.
A:I bet I can make you say the word black.
B: Okay.
A: What are the colors of the American flag?
B: Red, White, and Blue!
A: See, I told you I could make you say the word blue!
B: But, you said you could make me say the word black!
A: Got ya!
A: Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?
B: Repeat.
A: Pete and repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?
B: Repeat.
(This goes on and on until B catches onto the joke.)
A: What's small, green, and square?
B: (coming up with some answer)
A: A small, green square!
In the comments, there were also some corny jokes.
My family knows tons of these things, including myself.
I'd mention "The Smart Test," but that is something that really has to be experienced.
We "SPARK" kids know it well, though.
For quite awhile, this was my favorite to do to my sister:
Me: Do you want just one arm?
Her: No.
Me: Do you want two arms?
Her: Yes.
Me: Do you want three arms?
Her: No.
Me: Do you want forearms?
Her: No.
Me: (taking her arms and pretending to cut them off at the elbows) Okay.
Now, for more . . . (just using A and B, though yes, I have gotten people with these jokes! Also, these are just a few of them that could be though of at this time!)
A: I once knew a man with with snew in his blood.
B: What's snew?
A: Oh, not much. What's new with you?
A: (pouring a drink or piling food on a plate) Just say when
B: Stop.
A: (continues to pour or pile)
B: That's enough.
A: (continues to pour or pile) I told you to say (stressing the last word) when.
B: when.
A: (Finally stops pouring or piling)
A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
(Here, there are two possible types of reponses from B, either very eager or running away not wanting to hear the dirty joke.)
A: (Reacting to B) A pig fell in the mud.
(This joke is best done when discussing music.)
A: Oh! why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
b: (Whatever answer is given, and if it is right, it ends.)
A: Because they ran around saying, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
A: A man walks into a a psychologist's office in a panic. He yells, "I'm
wigwam! I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee!" The psychologist goes to him and calms him down. Then what does he say?
B: ---
A: Calm down, you're two tents! (too tense).
A: What do you call a sailor who goes from Asia to America and America to Asia without taking a bath?
B: ---
A: A dirty double crosser!
(This joke needs to be said quickly so the person doesn't catch onto what's being said
A: If a rooster lays on top a pointed roof (making hands into a pointed roof shape for an example) and lays an egg, which way will the egg roll?
B: (hopefully didn't catch onto the joke and give some answer)
A: Neither! Roosters don't lay eggs!
(This joke needs to be said quickly so the person doesn't catch onto what's being said.
A: which is incorrect? (Quickly, but acting sincere about the question)
The yolk of an egg are white or the yolk of an egg is white?
B: (who hopefully answers "is")
A: Neither! The yolk of an egg is yellow!
A: If two is a couple and three is a crowd, what is four and five?
B: ---
A: Nine!
(This joke needs to be said quickly so the person doesn't catch onto what's being said.
A: How many animals did Moses take on the ark?
B: (Hopefully giving some answer of two of each)
A: None! Moses didn't take any animals on an ark! Noah did!
(This joke needs to be said quickly so the person doesn't catch onto what's being said.
A:I bet I can make you say the word black.
B: Okay.
A: What are the colors of the American flag?
B: Red, White, and Blue!
A: See, I told you I could make you say the word blue!
B: But, you said you could make me say the word black!
A: Got ya!
A: Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?
B: Repeat.
A: Pete and repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?
B: Repeat.
(This goes on and on until B catches onto the joke.)
A: What's small, green, and square?
B: (coming up with some answer)
A: A small, green square!