Happy Freakin New Year.
Hes got a girlfriend now...girl back in ks, i never held out much hope for a second round, but never expected this. the final nail is driven into the coffin and i honestly dont know if i could ever harbor feelings for him again. he wont talk to me now because its driving the new girl into fits of insecurity. its just a bit saddening that its come to this. i stand to lose a good friend because of it and he stands to also lose a good friend. its sad that after a two hour long conversation about this last night, we left it on a good note, even made tentative plans to catch coffee and just talk. then just an hour ago i get a message that he doesnt want to talk to me anymore because it makes her uncomfortable. im done with it all, to be honest. if he wants to bring me back into his life, it would be a huge maybe. for now, i can finally shove him to the back of my mind and be done. i wish i could erase memories that easily. as of yesterday, i still loved him, now...im not so sure. ill just have to choke down tears again for a little while until i can face the day a better woman.