The instructions kinda confuse me, so I'm just going to do this as I please. I'm a rebel like that. ^__~
( 01 ) post your username
your username
( 02 ) copypasta the code into your live journal
yeah, skipping that one. it'll just spead the confusion, and I suspect I'll have to think out thoughtful replies to a lot of people if I didn't skip this step. I do love pasta, though.
( 03 ) comment on others' threads with how they've changed since you met them. good or bad, but try and keep wank out of it.
You know how they say you don't really know a person until you've lived with him/her...? or how at first in a relationship, people are different and then after a while they get comfortable and start showing their true colors? It's sort of like that, the changes I see. Not that all your ugly sides are coming out, but that the person I see now is more real, somehow. The other one was also real, but sort of like the "showcase" version. maybe that's a strong way of putting it, though... I guess what I'm trying to say is that the person you show me now isn't afraid to not be accepted, or not as afraid. This one dares a bit more to not be perfect, or at least to not be perfect to me. it's honest, or genuine... and the other person was also genuine, just a less complete picture than this one (which is also no doubt incomplete). Am I making any sense? You're not trying to be what you think I want you to be. But I think you subconciously did before, and with others probably still do. I guess everybody does that. So, this is a braver you. Linny 2.0.
*LOL* You were supposed to post your own username on that post and others were supposed to tell you on that post how you've changed, etc. I posted my own username in that post... but, posting your reply here is fine too!
I didn't know it said 'copypasta' instead of 'copypaste'. I love pasta too, though.
I know that I have good and bad sides; good and bad qualities. Every person does. I think I used to be so afraid that if I ever showed any 'bad part' of myself, that nobody would love me anymore. I felt that I had to be perfect (I am a perfectionist after all) for everybody. I knew that I couldn't be perfect, but felt like I had to be. I felt like I was given all of this praise that I never deserved, and it made me feel like I was this amazing, better, wonderful person even though in reality I didn't feel like I was any of those things at all.
I'm more comfortable with me now. I am not afraid of being myself. I am not afraid of showing my 'bad qualities' to people, because I know that those people who truly love me will love me for all of my quirks, too. Now, that is not to say that I am going to run around and be a serial killer because people will still love me for me. That is not the point I am trying to make. I'm just trying to say that if a person loves me, they will love all of me.
Yes, I screw up. Yes, I have hurt peoples' feelings without ever intending to do so. Yes, I become angry and hurt and jealous over things, just like every other person in this world. No one individual is perfect. I have learned to stop trying to make myself be that way. Of course, I am also very consciencious of others. I am a caregiver--it's what I do. I take care of people. I was that way before I ever became a nurse, and I hope to never lose that.
I am not afraid to take up for myself now, though. I have the patience of... uhm. Something that is very patient (>.>;) but I now refuse to let myself be walked all over by another person. I had someone who I thought was a very good friend take advantage of me somewhat recently, and I wrote about it here... even though I was saddened over the experience, it helped me to realize how I've grown up. Yes, I still love and care about people, but I also love and care about myself and will stand up for myself.
Yes, I understand what you mean, and I do believe you are right. ^_^
*LOL* You were supposed to post your own username on that post and others were supposed to tell you on that post how you've changed, etc.
Well, that wouldn't be too much fun, now would it? ^__~None of them know me, and therefor can have nothing to say about it, unlike, say, an ex-gf that might have something insightful and interesting to offer. *hint*
I'm more comfortable with me now.
That's good. ^__^ Loving ourselves is somehow much harder than loving other people, for some reason. I'm glad you're making friends with you.
Now, that is not to say that I am going to run around and be a serial killer because people will still love me for me.
Haha, you'd get an awful lot of gfs that way, though. ^__~
I have the patience of... uhm. Something that is very patient (>.>;)
*offer suggestion* a scorned woman looking for revenge an angel? ^__^
I had someone who I thought was a very good friend take advantage of me somewhat recently, and I wrote about it here...
I saw that post, but I never commented on it. It felt so much like one of those situations where no matter what anyone says, they can't offer anything that will make it better, you know? I didn't want to be another one of those people that... "disdplayed care", because that to me is more about oneself feeling good for being so nice and caring. Sometimes the nicest, most caring thing a person can do is to not try to make it better, partly because it trivilizes the situation. I feel like your situation was kind of like that. I could have sent a hug your way, but it wouldn't have made anything better. It might have made me feel good, but your life problems aren't there to make me feel good. And a situation like that can't really be made better by others' concern. If it's really bad, it can be a burden, really. I often feel like that when I'm going through rough times (like when my uncle died) and people flock to display concern. Usually, I put up with it, and act at least a little bit grateful when people fulfil their own need for feeling good about themselves by "making it better" when I have crap to deal with. But sometimes, when things are really bad, I just don't care. I tell people straight out that I have too much bad going on to fulfil their emotional needs. So yeah, I didn't want you to go through that, on top of what you already had to go through with your "friend".
( 01 ) post your username
your username
( 02 ) copypasta the code into your live journal
yeah, skipping that one. it'll just spead the confusion, and I suspect I'll have to think out thoughtful replies to a lot of people if I didn't skip this step. I do love pasta, though.
( 03 ) comment on others' threads with how they've changed since you met them. good or bad, but try and keep wank out of it.
You know how they say you don't really know a person until you've lived with him/her...? or how at first in a relationship, people are different and then after a while they get comfortable and start showing their true colors? It's sort of like that, the changes I see. Not that all your ugly sides are coming out, but that the person I see now is more real, somehow. The other one was also real, but sort of like the "showcase" version. maybe that's a strong way of putting it, though... I guess what I'm trying to say is that the person you show me now isn't afraid to not be accepted, or not as afraid. This one dares a bit more to not be perfect, or at least to not be perfect to me. it's honest, or genuine... and the other person was also genuine, just a less complete picture than this one (which is also no doubt incomplete). Am I making any sense? You're not trying to be what you think I want you to be. But I think you subconciously did before, and with others probably still do. I guess everybody does that. So, this is a braver you. Linny 2.0.
Reply
I didn't know it said 'copypasta' instead of 'copypaste'. I love pasta too, though.
I know that I have good and bad sides; good and bad qualities. Every person does. I think I used to be so afraid that if I ever showed any 'bad part' of myself, that nobody would love me anymore. I felt that I had to be perfect (I am a perfectionist after all) for everybody. I knew that I couldn't be perfect, but felt like I had to be. I felt like I was given all of this praise that I never deserved, and it made me feel like I was this amazing, better, wonderful person even though in reality I didn't feel like I was any of those things at all.
I'm more comfortable with me now. I am not afraid of being myself. I am not afraid of showing my 'bad qualities' to people, because I know that those people who truly love me will love me for all of my quirks, too. Now, that is not to say that I am going to run around and be a serial killer because people will still love me for me. That is not the point I am trying to make. I'm just trying to say that if a person loves me, they will love all of me.
Yes, I screw up. Yes, I have hurt peoples' feelings without ever intending to do so. Yes, I become angry and hurt and jealous over things, just like every other person in this world. No one individual is perfect. I have learned to stop trying to make myself be that way. Of course, I am also very consciencious of others. I am a caregiver--it's what I do. I take care of people. I was that way before I ever became a nurse, and I hope to never lose that.
I am not afraid to take up for myself now, though. I have the patience of... uhm. Something that is very patient (>.>;) but I now refuse to let myself be walked all over by another person. I had someone who I thought was a very good friend take advantage of me somewhat recently, and I wrote about it here... even though I was saddened over the experience, it helped me to realize how I've grown up. Yes, I still love and care about people, but I also love and care about myself and will stand up for myself.
Yes, I understand what you mean, and I do believe you are right. ^_^
Reply
Well, that wouldn't be too much fun, now would it? ^__~None of them know me, and therefor can have nothing to say about it, unlike, say, an ex-gf that might have something insightful and interesting to offer. *hint*
I'm more comfortable with me now.
That's good. ^__^ Loving ourselves is somehow much harder than loving other people, for some reason. I'm glad you're making friends with you.
Now, that is not to say that I am going to run around and be a serial killer because people will still love me for me.
Haha, you'd get an awful lot of gfs that way, though. ^__~
I have the patience of... uhm. Something that is very patient (>.>;)
*offer suggestion* a scorned woman looking for revenge an angel? ^__^
I had someone who I thought was a very good friend take advantage of me somewhat recently, and I wrote about it here...
I saw that post, but I never commented on it. It felt so much like one of those situations where no matter what anyone says, they can't offer anything that will make it better, you know? I didn't want to be another one of those people that... "disdplayed care", because that to me is more about oneself feeling good for being so nice and caring. Sometimes the nicest, most caring thing a person can do is to not try to make it better, partly because it trivilizes the situation. I feel like your situation was kind of like that. I could have sent a hug your way, but it wouldn't have made anything better. It might have made me feel good, but your life problems aren't there to make me feel good. And a situation like that can't really be made better by others' concern. If it's really bad, it can be a burden, really. I often feel like that when I'm going through rough times (like when my uncle died) and people flock to display concern. Usually, I put up with it, and act at least a little bit grateful when people fulfil their own need for feeling good about themselves by "making it better" when I have crap to deal with. But sometimes, when things are really bad, I just don't care. I tell people straight out that I have too much bad going on to fulfil their emotional needs.
So yeah, I didn't want you to go through that, on top of what you already had to go through with your "friend".
Reply
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