Nov 29, 2007 19:43
a lots going on lately and it really sucks. its one thing after the other and im really tired of it. court stuff sucks, im the judge is gonna make me go to a counsler to try to establish a relationship with my father that we never had. great, thatll be fun. im not gonna tell them shit. i dont need a damn counsler and i dont want to see him or have to do anything that has to do with him generally. i hate how they think i have no mind whatsoever once again, you'd think that the judge would at least understand that im old enough to understand whats going on and to know what i want and what im comfortable with and this is all just stupid. hes lying about everything and im fucking pissed about it. hes only going to be paying 150 dollars after all this too cause he lied about his salary which is ridiculous since he has his own business and its just impossible for him to be making 10,000 dollars a year and be supporting his wife her children and a grandchild and have expensive cars and a freakin boat. ugh, its so stupid. i hate my life. i dont want to have to see him. and as of now, they say that going to court wont do anything so we're basically stuck and i really wanted to testify but now i cant, i really want to try preventing going over there. i hate how people think im so empty minded and how i can get brainwashed easily. ugh.
saw andrew in the hallway today, he looked right at me. we both looked at each other, he turned away, hide behind people. my heart freakin sank, it was the most horrible feeling i could ever feel. he says we're "friends" and he cant even look at me or talk to me. its like i dont exsist anymore. i miss him still, and i still cant stop thinking about him, its pathetic. i even deleted everything of him off the computer, everything...and it hurt so bad, but i still cant get over him. its almost been a month since he broke up with me, i though id be ok by now, at least i had hoped..i wonder if he ever thinks of me. i couldnt concentrate at all during math too, it sucked, i really need to start paying attention more since my grades going down. last marking period i was at 101 and now im at 95 and im really pissed. and its all cause of a damn 88 on a test. all the rest of my grades for everything are above 97. ugh. everythings so stressful, hopefully it dosent hurt the honors thing, i really need to do better.