Private, Hackable lvl 3
But I've been thinking hard about what I'm doing these days. I don't want to blame it on this whole gender-swap thing, but... I guess my head has been a bit clearer these last few days. So, I've been thinking.
The thing which has occurred to me most recently is that perhaps the only reason I've been hurting for so long, is that I've bearing my regret for those long lost. It's always hurt to think in this way, but what would she think if she knew this would be how I carried on in honor her memory? I'm almost ashamed of what I've done over the years-- almost. And having thought about it so hard for the last few days, I think that I may just be ready to say goodbye.
I don't know what this will mean for the future. Living for the past is all I've done for so long. But maybe this is what I've needed for so long... maybe now I'll be able to find purpose?
Who knows.
The thing which has occurred to me most recently is that perhaps the only reason I've been hurting for so long, is that I've bearing my regret for those long lost. It's always hurt to think in this way, but what would she think if she knew this would be how I carried on in honor her memory? I'm almost ashamed of what I've done over the years-- almost. And having thought about it so hard for the last few days, I think that I may just be ready to say goodbye.
I don't know what this will mean for the future. Living for the past is all I've done for so long. But maybe this is what I've needed for so long... maybe now I'll be able to find purpose?
Who knows.