Taking Advantage
~*~
A sad, heavy sigh escaped Naruto’s soft lips as he rolled over in bed and was met with emptiness. Sasuke was gone again. The two had been ‘together’ for almost six months, their relationship having started when the raven was successfully retrieved from the Sound village, and yet the dark-haired boy never stayed with the blonde. The two would meet up, at Naruto’s apartment and never Sasuke’s house, after training or missions or several times throughout the week. At first, they had just spent time together, trying to repair the damage done by the Uchiha’s defection from Konohagakure.
One month had passed and after a particularly extensive training period, the teammates had adjourned to the blonde shinobi’s house to clean up and change before getting something to eat. Once their stomachs had been satisfied, Sasuke and Naruto headed for the dobe’s place so the raven could pick up his clothes and go home. Halfway there, they’d started to argue and by the time they were within the walls of Naruto’s small apartment, they were making out and tearing clothes out of the way.
The sexual sessions between the two were always heated and frenzied and the blonde didn’t mind in the least. His eighteen year old body could take more of a beating than any other ninja in the village and his stamina had often times proved an irritant to the stoic raven. After every round, the blonde would fall asleep and Sasuke would leave. The first few times it happened, Naruto didn’t think anything of it really, assuming the Uchiha just wasn’t comfortable with possibly letting the nature of their relationship out in the open yet.
Still after just over half a year, it was the same thing. The fox and the raven would have frantic, almost violent, sex, Naruto would sleep and Sasuke would leave soon after, always under the cover of night. It had also become habit that the poor blonde wouldn’t see his lover for at least a day after their nighttime rendezvous and the longer it persisted, the more worried he became.
The Kyuubi vessel had loved the Sharingan wielder for a long time and even if their interludes were never romantic, he was happy just to have the other so close to him. Soon it wasn’t enough though.
Whether behind closed doors or out in the open for the world to see, Sasuke still treated Naruto the way he always had; as a loudmouth, unskilled nuisance. For all the years they were teammates and even the first four months of their get-togethers, he’d dismissed his lover’s actions towards him as simply being ‘Sasuke’. Although the world thought Naruto a dimwit, he really wasn’t and he could tell that something just wasn’t right with what they were doing, regardless of how much he cared for the older teen.
Over the last two months, their sex life had declined horribly. Sasuke was even more hurried and aggressive than ever before and would assure he reached his peak long before the blonde was close and simply finished the boy off with his hand, if he finished the task at all.
And he still always left.
Tension had risen within his team as well and Naruto was clueless as to why. He knew there was more going on then he was being privileged to know and it ate at him inside to know without a doubt that it concerned his lover.
Heaving another despairing sigh, the blonde pulled himself from his cold bed and wandered towards his bathroom, intent on taking a hot shower and going out to get some food.
~*~
“Thanks ojii-chan!” Naruto called as he slapped some money down on the counter and left Ichiraku, his mood a little lighter after having some of his comfort food. Not to say he didn’t really love ramen, because he did, but it was one of the only places he could get fresh food and good service and since he was always rather melancholy - despite his cheerful façade - he ate it a lot. With a smile and a wave from the owner, the blonde walked away from one of the very few places he was actually comforted, his mind working a million miles a minute.
Something was up with the whole of Team 7 and he had to find out what was going on. His teammates couldn’t be so edgy for no reason but Naruto really had no idea how to go about finding anything out. While Kakashi-sensei was nice enough, he was still almost as secretive as the ever stoic Sasuke and Sakura was still always blinded by her affection for the Uchiha and had never really liked him to begin with, so he was sure he wouldn’t find anything of any importance from anyone actually in the cell. His only other option would be to find someone who might have an inkling of an idea but the list of people that would know was small.
Perhaps even non-existent.
Many of the shinobi and kunoichi of the village didn’t trust the Uchiha yet, even if the villagers did so blindly, so the blonde was sure that there wouldn’t be anyone amongst his fellow ninja that would know anything, simply because they didn’t want to get too close to the returned raven.
Even though Naruto was thinking hard, he was still wandering about aimlessly and therefore only noticed he had entered the forest when he literally ran into a hard body and tumbled to the ground. Shaking his head to clear the spots that danced behind his eyelids from slamming his head onto the hard forest floor, the blonde looked up and was rather surprised to find Kakashi standing there.
“Kakashi-sensei? What are you doing out here?” The fox asked as he rubbed at the back of his head and stood up from the ground, brushing his clothes free of grass and dirt.
The Copy-nin looked at his student for a long moment. Their entire past together as student and teacher played in his mind and he was glad that the majority of his face was covered to hide the grimace that came with his thoughts. He’d never really paid much attention to the boy, certainly not as much as the other two ninja in his cell and definitely not enough to be considered a worthy teacher. As a matter of fact, Jiraiya had been a far better sensei to the blonde fox in only the two and a half years they’d traveled and trained together then Kakashi ever had.
Guilt flooded his body knowing how badly he had treated his beloved sensei’s legacy.
And now he knew - and was hiding - something that would hurt the boy far worse than any of his previous negligence had. He refused to tell Naruto anything for two reasons. One: it wasn’t his position to breathe a word. Two: he couldn’t really stand to be the one that dealt yet another harsh blow to the young man.
He himself had done more than enough of that thus far.
When the chuunin exams had come around, he’d pawned the boy off on Ebisu so he could focus on Sasuke, thinking the Uchiha needed him more, to learn what he could not only for the exams but to fend off Orochimaru should the need arise. In the end, the raven had gone willingly to the snake sannin and his time and effort was proved wasted. For a long while, Kakashi had tried displacing his guilt by thinking that things had turned out for the best for Naruto because of his actions; he’d thought it was because of his abandonment of the blonde that he’d come to train with the Toad Sage.
Now he realized he never deserved any of the respect the boy had ever held for him.
“Just enjoying the calm Naruto-kun. It isn’t often that we jounin get a decent break.” The lie fell from his lips as smooth as silk and left a bitter taste in the back of his throat. Understanding and compassion flashed through those wide sapphire eyes at the words he’d uttered and he literally felt sick to his stomach.
“Ano sa, ano sa Kakashi-sensei…have you seen Sasuke anywhere? I really need to talk to him.” Though Naruto had already known the elite ninja would tell him nothing if he asked about what was going on, he hoped he had at least seen his lover around and wouldn’t lie to him about it.
Kakashi found he couldn’t let another lie bubble up from his throat at the emotions in those sky blue eyes. It seemed as though the cheerful mask the blonde always wore had slipped for a discrete moment in time and the man saw everything the boy felt. He was sad, scared and oh so lonely. “He’s at his house Naruto-kun but I think he’s busy. It’d be best not to disturb him now.”
A wide grin curled the blonde’s lips and Kakashi felt his stomach twist, “Ariagato Kakashi-sensei! Bye!”
He watched the teen wave and dash off through the forest towards the Uchiha district, completely disregarding his words, “I warned you Naruto.”
~*~
Grunts and various noises reached the blonde’s ears as he tiptoed through the house. He’d been in Sasuke’s house before and wasn’t the least bit ashamed to walk in and was hoping to take his lover by surprise. The noises though sounded more like a fight or maybe a sparring match. He recognized both Sasuke and Sakura’s chakra so he assumed the two were training or sparring. Following the sounds, he made his way up the stairs and soon found himself standing in front of the raven’s bedroom door, a very puzzled look on his face though somewhere in the back of his mind he knew what was going on.
A heavy feeling of dread settled in his stomach quickly and he had to force himself to breathe deeply in order to keep calm. Lifting a shaky hand to the door, he flung it wide and his sensitive nose was instantly assaulted with the scent of sex. He stepped in the room, already knowing what he’d find but wanting to confirm it with his eyes, and looked towards the bed.
His teammates were naked, flushed and sweaty. Sasuke was between Sakura’s thighs and her calves were over his shoulders. Hastily pulling a blanket around herself, the pink-haired kunoichi let her legs slide from their positions to lie flat on the bed, her face flaming. The raven just stared at him, not bothering to move from his position inside the woman or cover his body in the least, with his normal icy glare.
Naruto licked his lips and found his voice, “Sasuke?”
“You didn’t think that just because I had you to fuck that I would forget about reviving my clan did you? I need a woman for that and you just won’t do.” After delivering such a harsh blow to the first friend the Uchiha had ever had, Sasuke turned away from the blonde and continued what had been interrupted, seemingly not caring in the least.
Tears filled his ocean blue eyes at the clear dismissal and Naruto quickly formed some seals, the transportation jutsu taking him straight out of the Uchiha district and back into Konoha. Without waiting for anything - and not caring that his vision was blurry - the fox sprinted back towards his house, wanting to be as far away as possible.
~*~
As soon as he’d made it within the confines of his apartment, Naruto ran to the bathroom and purged his stomach, his sobs echoing off the tiled walls and ringing in his ears. Once his stomach was empty, he blew his nose and turned on the water in the sink, washing his mouth out. When he left the small bathroom, the blonde realized that there wasn’t a single area in his home where he hadn’t had a moment of some sort with the first person he loved, the one person that truly broke his heart. He had to leave at least for awhile. There was no way he could stand to be there, with the Uchiha’s scent still lingering in the air.
Tears filled his eyes again as he stumbled towards his front door, quietly leaving into the darkness that was starting to settle over the village. As fast as his legs could carry him, Naruto sprinted towards Hokage tower, ready to demand a mission that would take him far away from Konoha - and his teammates - as soon as possible, hoping Tsunade would grant his wish.
Within moments he was at her office door and simply walked in, not bothering with greeting Izumo and Kotetsu who let him pass without question. Once he was inside, he closed the door softly and watched as the Hokage’s eyes rose from the papers on her desk to meet his, a sharp reprimand on the tip of her tongue. The words died in her throat at the tears that spilled down tan, whiskered cheeks and the broken look in those azure eyes. Her stomach lurched when she realized something had happened…something had happened between him and Sasuke. The Godaime didn’t even spare the man in the chair across from her desk a glance before getting up and walking to the young man who had always been like a little brother to her and wrapping him in a hug. He was taller than her, so he buried his face against her neck and sobbed; the feeling of her blonde hair against his forehead and the strength of her arms around him giving him a sense of security.
The blonde didn’t care that he was a jounin crying on the Hokage like a two year old. All that mattered to him was the warmth and safety he felt from one of the only people to care about him. Tsunade’s nimble fingers sifted through strands of sunshine while she gently swayed her body from side to side as the teen sobbed in her arms. Soon the cries quieted and the shaking stopped under the woman’s tender ministrations and she felt relief flood her system as the breaths against her neck became slow and even. Pressing a gentle kiss to shaggy golden locks, the Hokage used her insane strength to lift the sturdily built blonde into her arms and carried him to her chambers. After getting him settled down in her soft bedding, she tucked a blanket around his shoulders, brushed some stray locks of hair from his face and kissed his forehead, breathing a soft goodnight into his slumbering ears before leaving him.
After settling back in her chair behind her desk, the fifth Hokage of Konohagakure turned her attention to her guest who regarded her with serious and questioning eyes. Shifting her weight slightly, Tsunade-hime pulled open the bottom drawer of her desk and lifted out a bottle of sake and two cups. After filling both, she passed one to her guest and tossed her own back before refilling it, taking a sip and setting it down. She looked across her desk at the one sitting in front of her, still staring at her as if awaiting an explanation. While she knew that the whole of Rookie 9 and Team Gai were suspicious of the relationship between the fox and the raven, there were only a few who were positive that they were lovers.
Surprisingly, Shino was one of them.
Tsunade preferred seeing the faces of her visitors unfettered for the most part and, as with Naruto and his ANBU mask, Shino had long ago become accustomed to removing his sunglasses while in her presence. Now his dark, somber eyes were watching her like a hawk but she was thankful for it. To her it was only a sign that the Aburame was concerned for the heartbroken fox and she knew that Naruto was going to need all the support he could get. While she didn’t know the specifics of what had occurred between the Uchiha heir and the Yondaime’s legacy, she was more than aware that her pink-haired apprentice had been sleeping with Sasuke.
She wasn’t Hokage for nothing and there wasn’t anything going on in her village that she was unaware of.
“Hokage-sama,” the normally cool and soft voice of the bug-nin sounded tight and strained while his usually hidden dark eyes writhed with anger, “was that…Naruto?”
Deep-felt sorrow flooded her hazel eyes even as her entire body tightened in anger. What she wouldn’t give to have the other two members of Team 7 standing before her right now. She was in need of some serious venting. “I’m afraid so Shino-kun.”
A deep breath, “What happened to him? I…I don’t think I’ve ever…seen him cry.”
Tears stung the backs of her eyes but she bit them back, refusing to break down in front of the jounin before her. Her little brother needed her right now, she could cry for him later. “You are aware of the…relationship he and the Uchiha held?”
A nod and she continued, “It has come to my attention over the past month that Sakura and Sasuke have been sleeping together, though for how long it’s been happening I don’t know. I can only assume that Naruto has just discovered it.”
“However much he loved the Uchiha, even finding out he was unfaithful, should not have done that to him Hokage-sama.” Shino replied with anger barely restrained. Naruto had, surprisingly, become a very close friend to Shino and the quiet shinobi had never dared to question why. The blonde was everything he wasn’t and for some odd reason, the dark-haired boy had found himself drawn to the fox. Ever since the two had started their relationship, the bug-nin had kept an eye on them with his kikaichu but since he’d been gone for nearly three months on a mission, he had no knowledge that Sasuke was treating the blonde so badly.
“I know. I am sure it was something far worse than just finding out. I am willing to bet he caught them together in some way…but there has to be more to it. Naruto is too strong to be that completely torn apart, even by something as cruel as what his so-called teammates did.”
“…there is more…” A weary and soft voice echoed in the sudden silence of the room and the two snapped their attention to the door leading to the Hokage’s personal chambers, where Naruto stood with a blanket wrapped around him. His normally bright azure eyes were watery and washed out to a dreary grey-blue; tear tracks stained his tan cheeks and his blonde hair was listless and dull.
He looked nothing like the number one hyperactive knucklehead ninja of Konoha who was responsible for bringing the defected Uchiha heir home.
Naruto shook his head as Tsunade made to stand and walked over to a small couch against the wall, facing her desk. After laying down and curling up on his side, the blonde looked at the two with tired and unbelievably sad eyes. “Nee-chan…can I have a mission? I don’t care what or where…I just…I don’t think I can handle staying here right now.”
Although she was really expecting a question like that, she hadn’t been expecting it to come so soon. Tsunade had thought he might try to deal with it at least before throwing in the towel and it only proved how heartbroken he really was. Tear filled hazel orbs scrutinized the depressed blonde lying on her couch and just as she was about to go to him, Shino stood from his chair and approached Naruto in silent strides. Once he was standing over the broken man, he knelt on the floor in front of the couch and wrapped his arms around the blonde, pulling him into his chest and hugging him tightly. The dam broke and torrents of tears slipped from pained sapphire eyes to soak into the Aburame’s coat. The fox didn’t wail or sob, simply cried silently while gripping the back of the dark-haired nin’s coat in a white-knuckled grip.
The poor teen couldn’t really remember the last time he’d been hugged so well.
After a few moments, Shino pulled back from the still teary-eyed blonde and tilted Naruto’s head up with a gentle grip on his strong jaw, “Naruto, we can’t help you if you don’t tell us what’s wrong.”
A deep sigh left the fox’s lips as he averted his eyes and he looked so bone weary and defeated that Shino was almost tempted to tell him he didn’t have to say a thing, however he was a smart one and knew that there would be no way for Naruto to get over whatever had happened unless he talked about it. Besides that, he wanted ammo against the Uchiha. Although he knew very well that the stoic boy never treated the blonde any better then he ever had - and considering the nature of their relationship that was more than enough to warrant an ass beating in his opinion - he wanted to know for sure what was said so that when the time came, he could exploit how stupid the returned shinobi was.
“Things…haven’t been so good the last couple months. We’d meet up at my place after or mission or whenever…and after everything was over, I’d go to sleep - or pretend to sleep - and he would leave. Then I wouldn’t see anything of him for at least a day. I knew something was going on but I didn’t know what. Everything was so tense in Team 7 and I wanted to know what was wrong with Sasuke and my team.
I ran into Kakashi-sensei and asked if he’d seen Sasuke…he told me…oh god. He was trying to tell me and I didn’t listen! He said Sasuke was at his house but he was busy. He told me I shouldn’t bother him…but I went to his house anyway. I found Sakura’s chakra signature inside but I just thought maybe they were sparring or Sakura was healing him from something. I-I walked in on them…and the bastard didn’t even try to hide what was going on!”
He was in tears again, the pain raw and unrelenting in his eyes as they filled with water, “He…he asked me…if I thought that he’d give up on reviving his clan…just…just because he…he had me to fuck. He said he needed a woman for that…and I…I just wouldn’t do.”
It was still too much for him and he collapsed into sobs, only vaguely feeling Shino pull him into a hug again. Naruto was glad the bug-nin was there because his calm nature and soft voice was helping to comfort him more than anything else could. Even though the Uchiha was his lover, he realized he never felt loved by the raven. Sasuke never hugged him or held him or comforted him in any way. There had been quite a few times in the past where the Aburame had just sat and listened to him talk or given him a shoulder to cry on - literally - and he never insulted him or berated him or made him feel worthless for being so emotional.
Shino never called him a nuisance and he even knew about the Kyuubi.
“What else Naruto.” Tsunade asked once the blonde had calmed once more. She knew there was more to everything, she could see it when she looked into those crushed sapphire orbs and it was tearing her apart inside.
Naruto looked to the Hokage with wide, teary eyes wondering how she knew. He shook his head. It didn’t matter how she knew because she did and he knew that even if he didn’t want to say it he had to. She needed to know and she was asking him more than demanding he answer. Besides, she was one of the few people he could always count on and he wasn’t about to jeopardize that by lying to her. She’d see through it anyway.
He was a bad liar.
“The bastard always said he wanted to revive his clan after he’d killed Itachi. His brother is still alive and he never mentioned anything about kids, not like he ever talked to me much anyway, but I knew he didn’t want to have kids until Itachi was gone.”
The blonde took a deep breath here, knowing what was to come next was going to shock the hell of Tsunade and Shino. He could only hope they weren’t disgusted by it. “Because of the Kyuubi I can have kids if I decide I want them. It’d be different because I’m not a female…but the fox said that he could manipulate our chakra in a way that would change my body to let me become pregnant. I could have given Sasuke kids. I…I could have been good enough…”
This time the hug he received was a combination of Shino and Tsunade and the warmth and safety he felt from their embrace soothed his hurting heart. It made him think that maybe he was better than Sasuke ever made him out to be; that maybe, just maybe he was worthy of being loved. He wanted to believe it so much because he had been alone so long. He had truly loved the raven but it was only there in the Hokage’s office that he was able to know that the man had never loved him. His heart wilted at the thought but he knew there was no point in denying its truth.
Sasuke had never loved him, despite all he’d done for the man.
Only because Naruto was Naruto did his mood change rather quickly. Feelings of sorrow, despair and betrayal hardened into determination and resolve. Letting the raven see how broken he was would do nothing for him but make him feel worse; he refused to let that bastard break him, not after all that he’d survived. Sasuke could have Sakura and his happy little family and Naruto…Naruto would move on.
~*~
A loud snarl of incoherent curses sliced through the air of the clearing Team 7 used to train in as Sasuke threw a punch at a nearby tree, his chakra laden fist tearing through bark easily and casting the tree to splinters, the top half tumbling over with a resounding ‘crash’. Blazing Sharingan eyes swirled madly, the delicate and normally stoic features of the Uchiha twisted and contorted in anger and pain.
Things weren’t supposed to be this way, the raven growled in his mind as he smashed his fist through another tree. Everything had blown up in his face and he wanted to kick his own ass for being so stupid. Where had his reputed ‘Uchiha Genius’ gone anyway? He’d loved the blonde more than he ever thought he could love anything and he had crushed the man’s heart.
It was no big surprise that he needed to revive his clan and he had planned to get Sakura pregnant and then break the news to Naruto. He thought he’d been stealthy enough, believed in Naruto’s blind trust of him enough that he had actually assumed his plan would work. He didn’t want the pink haired kunoichi but she was acceptable as the mother for his child. The raven had come to the realization that he needed to have a child before he faced Itachi. In case he didn’t survive the fight, at least his blood would already be passed on.
His original thought was to impregnate Sakura, tell Naruto and wait for the storm of his lover’s emotions to fade away. After some time apart had passed, he planned to find his blonde and tell him everything. He had been counting on Naruto’s love for him to hear him out; had depended on their love for one another to repair the rift his actions would cause. Everything was easier played through in his mind than it was acted out in life. It had come to his attention very quickly that if he approached Sakura after having been with Naruto, he couldn’t focus on what he had to do. Therefore, he slowed down his visits with his love and distanced himself. He found carrying out his task with the pink-haired female somewhat easier if he avoided Naruto after they’d been together.
Eventually, he spent less and less time with the man because when he was around the blonde he felt his will shrivel and he couldn’t afford that when his family line rested on his shoulders. He’d only had Naruto to himself for a short three months before he’d put his plan into action and had been seeing Sakura sparsely at first. Then he spent more time with her than the one who held his heart and during the times where he would actually venture to the blonde’s domain, their encounters were always fueled by his restricted passion for the man. Not once in the short six months they had been together had he ever just made love to Naruto.
Never once had he told the fair-haired jounin how much he loved him.
Throughout all his planning, he had never anticipated Naruto actually catching him in his wretched acts. Sasuke hadn’t even wanted him to know until he was sure his heir was being carried by the female member of their former cell. He almost lost his convictions to revive his clan when he’d seen those brilliant sapphire gems shatter. The Uchiha had actually witnessed Naruto’s heart breaking and it took everything he had not to abandon the woman on the bed and wrap the blonde in his arms. With all the restraint he could muster he’d stayed still and his mouth had taken over. Such horrible words had poured from his lips and he hated himself for it.
Naruto had been gone from his vision in a breath’s time and then Sasuke had been unable to find him at all. Thinking the blonde was only on a mission and would be back in a week or possibly two, he’d thought it was the best thing. Already aware of how sensitive the fox-boy was, the Uchiha had figured the situation was for the best. It would let Naruto have some time away from his heartbreak and Sasuke - having nothing better to do with his time - had used the weeks provided to bed Sakura as many times as he could stand.
Soon though weeks had doubled and tripled, turning to months before he knew what’d happened. He scoured the village at least twice a week and never caught so much as a trace of Naruto’s chakra. After three months had passed, the raven had gone to consult the Hokage and inquire as to his blonde’s absence.
He received a punch to the face and was systematically thrown from her office.
Worry had flooded his heart and mind, wondering where his love was and why he’d been absent so long. Eventually being with Sakura just became routine and he would spend the free time he had away from training, missions and attempted procreation holed up in Naruto’s too empty apartment. The way he treated the fox - even before his hair brained scheme to acquire an heir - was deplorable he’d come to realize as he thought over everything in the lonely apartment that only faintly smelled of the one he loved. He’d been a right bastard that had never deserved the blonde’s love or affection in the first place but he’d had it, given to him on a silver platter.
And he had thrown it all away.
With his depression and worry came determination to confess everything to the man once the fox returned from wherever he was.
~*~
Four months had come to pass since the blonde had found out about his lover’s treachery and since that day in the Hokage’s office, he and Shino had been on a mission. Naruto had been relieved and eternally grateful to Tsunade for granting him his wish for a mission and she had even given him one that was at least eight months long; a bodyguard mission for an extremely important traveling monk, which meant he got to see even more of the world than he had with Jiraiya. It came as a surprise to the fox that Shino had requested to go with him but he certainly wasn’t going to object. Despite the fact that more than enough people found the Aburame clan weird and creepy, Naruto was rather fascinated by them. He had the soul of a demon sealed in his body but the idea of having live insects that used your own flesh as their home and your chakra as their energy was kind of intriguing.
Their charge had been thoroughly impressed with the level of skill the young shinobi possessed and even more awed by how well the two fought together, even though the two seemed to be polar opposites. For the first month of their mission, the blonde had been in an understandable funk. Even though Shino had never been close enough to someone to be betrayed the way Naruto had, he could empathize with the fox’s feelings. He had the suspicion that somehow, his kikaichu could feel the emotions in the boy’s complex chakra and transmitted them to him.
Finally though, the storm had broken. One night during their normal training ritual, the Kyuubi vessel had snapped and the cork that held his emotions back popped. Brilliant, angry red chakra had exploded from the blonde’s body in a flurry of energy and Shino had been hard pressed to stay alive under the raging assault the boy had posed. Punches, kicks, shuriken and kunai were thrown at an eye-popping pace and the bug-nin knew then and there that even a shinobi with an advanced bloodline, like the Hyuuga and Uchiha, would have had one hell of a time keeping track of everything. The most amazing part of the entire display was the perfect grace that Naruto fought with and the incredible strength that thrummed through his muscles. Shino had been caught with a punch once or twice and he was thankful that his friend was still somewhat in control of himself, for surely had he been an enemy he would’ve been dead from a single hit. In the end, it was only through his kikaichu that he had escaped the fray with only a few minor injuries.
Thankfully, the bugs had gorged on the rich and powerful chakra and slowly worn his friend down.
Of course, he’d also had to deal with a plethora of apologies - and tearful hugs - from the fox for what had happened but he took them all in stride, finding that he rather liked having the blonde so close to him. Shino was an incredibly smart and observant person. While a lot of people can be observant of others, oftentimes they aren’t very in tune with themselves. The young Aburame was an exception to that rule. He knew very well that he had fallen for the kitsune container in the past year or so and the only thing that had kept him from making a move was the Uchiha. First it had been because Naruto and Sasuke were together…now it was because they weren’t and Naruto had been left broken.
His affection for - and attraction to - Naruto were the reasons for requesting to accompany the blonde on his mission. He figured that even if he could never actually say anything to the boy concerning his feelings, at least he could be there as a friend to help him through his heartache. Over the past two months though, the fox had been displaying some more Naruto-esque qualities that warmed Shino’s heart and lifted a weight from his chest.
Now, the two Konoha jounin were currently off-duty for the day and were heading to an onsen in a town in Wave Country after a heavy training session. Shino mused as they walked that he had gotten far better workouts training with the blonde shinobi then he ever had training with anyone else. He was surprised that more of the ninja in Konoha didn’t beg to spar with Naruto until he realized the fact that there probably weren’t many people that actually knew how talented he was. The Aburame never failed to be awed and impressed with the depth of skill his companion possessed and he wondered at the Uchiha’s stupidity. Naruto had been all his; all that power, beauty, love and affection had all been his and he’d tossed it away.
Yeah, Sasuke had officially taken the name ‘dobe’ in his book.
Naruto smiled happily once they were inside the spring, breathing the steamy mineral air deep into his lungs. “Man this is great! I haven’t been to a hot spring in ages! Every time I was near one when I trained with Jiraiya, we’d get kicked out before I even got to see the inside because the old man couldn’t keep his perverted eyes from the women’s side and I was never allowed in the one in Konoha.”
Shino was rather surprised by the tone in the blonde’s voice at the last part of his sentence. He made being banned from places in his home village sound as though he was talking about the weather and really, it made the dark-haired man rather sad. Naruto had bled, cried, sweat and nearly died on numerous occasions for Konohagakure; he was the only reason the entire village hadn’t been brought to the ground by Kyuubi no Kitsune and yet they still treated him badly. At least the ninja of the village treated him well…except those within his cell.
Just thinking about their debauchery caused rage to flow in his veins and steel bands of sorrow to stifle his heart. A cry of delight brought him away from darker thoughts - such as allowing his kikaichu to feast on the bastard and bitch in question until they no longer had enough energy to even draw air into their lungs - and to the present, where sunshine personified was happily toeing off his sandals and pulling the jounin vest from his torso. As the black t-shirt and fishnet shirt were stripped away Shino was happy for having such a high collar to hide his blush. He never would have imagined that under all those clothes Naruto had a body like the one on display.
Warm beams of sunlight danced across his slightly sweaty torso, highlighting the ridges between every hard muscle on his chest and shoulders, and made his blonde hair glow. Cerulean eyes reflected the sky above them, twinkling in happiness and anticipation of the warm mineral water. Dark eyes traced a bead of perspiration down the strong muscles of the fox’s back as they flexed and rippled beneath beautifully tanned skin hungrily as the boy turned slightly to kick his growing pile of clothes further to the side.
Shaking his head slightly to clear away his less-than-virtuous thoughts, Shino went about disrobing himself, more than ready to relax in the steamy water and not just a little bit anxious over being there naked with an equally naked Naruto. Thankfully, he was far too reserved to just pounce on the blonde but he was more than positive that he would be stretching even his limits; especially when he looked up from sliding his large coat off and removing his sandals to get a full view of a very naked and very - he blushed faintly - tanned backside. Did the fox sunbathe nude?
Forcing back an impending nosebleed and willing his thoughts to keep to the fact that Naruto had just been horribly betrayed, the Aburame finished stripping in record time and slid into the hot water, sighing in contentment as his body relaxed.
Naruto eyed Shino as he relaxed against the side of the onsen with his glasses off and eyes closed. The blonde had mused more than once how odd it was that even his own teammates rarely saw the bug-nin sans eyewear and yet Naruto was becoming more and more hard pressed to remember a time when he hadn’t seen him in such a way. He knew that the Aburame clan all wore them - for traditions sake, Shino had once said - but honestly, he could never figure out why Shino would choose to. He had really nice eyes. The fox holder also found it interesting to note that they were never really one particular color. Those hidden orbs were dark and when they’d been seen during the chuunin exams they had been a very dark brown.
For some reason, they seemed to be a very deep - almost black - purple whenever the two were alone enough for Shino to feel comfortable in removing the glasses. He knew he’d never seen them that color on the occasions they were in the Hokage’s office together and he had to wonder if it was just his own presence that brought out that shade in the Aburame’s eyes. Not that he was complaining any; in fact, Naruto thought they were really pretty and he made the decision to start talking so Shino would look at him and he could see those special eyes again.
No one else he knew had eyes that color.
The sharp eyes of the blonde shinobi easily caught how the Aburame cuddled up close to the small waterfall in the springs, letting the tumultuous water shroud his body in tumbling waves and he mused that he’d never actually seen anything of Shino below his neck, not even his arms. Wondering why that was, he called out to his friend, “Oi Shino!’
The bug-nin didn’t moved or shift at all, only making a soft sound of acknowledgement from his place in the crashing water. Naruto moved towards his friend and stopped when there were only four or so feet between them. “Shino…why do you always hide under that big coat? I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but I’ve always wondered.”
Shifting his weight slightly to sit up more, Shino opened his eyes and looked at the fox-boy who was much closer than he had originally been. He studied his features for a moment, watching water roll of his tan skin and curiosity gleam in blue eyes, before he took a breath and let it go. No one had ever really asked that before and if it was anyone other than Naruto, he probably wouldn’t say a thing. Alas, he had a few questions of his own for the blonde so he figured the least he could do was answer the ones posed to him.
“When the members of the Aburame clan are young, we are exposed to the kikaichu so they can make their homes within our bodies. The younger the ninja, the more time the bugs have to get used to us. The process is painful and leaves numerous scars all over our skin. People think us…creepy…enough as it is, so we keep our bodies covered as much as possible so very few outside the clan ever see our scars. Besides that, due to the kikaichu, we are extremely sensitive to anything that touches us and that can make pain a lot worse.”
Naruto’s eyes were wide when the bug-nin finished speaking, having never really heard him talk so much at once. He was also completely interested in seeing these aforementioned scars and couldn’t help but wonder what was so bad about them that they needed to be covered all the time. The blonde had multitudes of scars all over his body - being that he refused to let Kyuubi heal the scars even if the fox healed the wounds - and he wasn’t bothered by them at all really. To him, the marks on his body were testament to what he’d lived through, the swirl pattern on his chest being the most prominent.
Edging a little closer to Shino, the fox noticed his eyes change slightly from their dark purple to a lighter shade and grinned. Finally sitting with only a foot between the two, he addressed his friend again. “Ne Shino? Can I see?”
The Aburame looked completely startled, which was saying something for a man who was even more of a statue than Sasuke. Naruto’s grin only got wider.
“Why…why would you want to?”
Shrugging his shoulders in nonchalance, Naruto pulled a leg up so his foot rested on the ledge he sat on and placed his chin on his knee, regarding his friend with intense azure eyes. “Cause they can’t be that bad. I mean, I have scars all over everywhere and I don’t care about them.”
Shino lowered his head, breaking the gaze he held with the blonde as he spoke softly, “Yes they are actually. At least your scars are from battles and things like that.”
Letting his leg slip back down, Naruto leaned forward and gently tilted his friend’s head back up with soft fingertips under his chin, “Not all of them are from fighting or anything to do with being a shinobi. Usually the hits I take in fights aren’t that serious and heal without much of a mark at all…the visible ones…are more to due with being a Jinchuuriki.”
The bug-nin blushed as a wave of heat emanated from the fox-s hand on his chin and he was thankful for the heat of the water he sat in, hoping Naruto would disregard the color on his cheeks. Just that simple touch sent fire straight to his groin and he focused on the beautiful blue orbs he was looking into once more instead of what his body was doing. Naruto barely even realized he was tenderly stroking Shino’s chin with his fingers as he spoke, “If you don’t want to show me you don’t have to. If you want, you can see mine instead.”
Without waiting for a response from the quiet man, Naruto removed his hand and stood up in the water exposing his torso from his belly button up. Picking out the most obvious scar, he traced his fingers lightly over the swirl-like mark burned into his tan flesh. “This one came from the Valley of the End. It’s the worst scar I have and there’s one just like it on my back.”
Shino felt white-hot anger surge through him again at seeing the mark that marred the man’s body on his chest and back. The Uchiha had been responsible for that, driving such a deadly attack through his supposed ‘best-friend’ only seconds after proclaiming that very thing to the blonde. Yet when he’d come back, Naruto accepted him again, even going so far as falling in love with the ninja who had seriously tried to take his life, only to be betrayed by the raven once more.
“It still hurts to think about it all. I guess I should’ve been more wary of him after he betrayed me the first time but I couldn’t help it. He was one of the first people to give me attention, even if it was negative. We always sparred together because we were the best match for power and I couldn’t help but be drawn to him. I feel like such a fool now.” The blonde spoke softly as he settled in the water once more, a melancholy expression taking over his features.
“Naruto…can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer…it’s rather personal but I’ve been wondering…” The Aburame trailed off, not entirely certain this was the right time to talk about such a thing but it was in the air now. Naruto nodded at him slightly, cerulean eyes trained on him again as he took a breath, “If you can carry a child, why did you never end up pregnant before?”
A sad, defeated smile crossed the teen’s lips before he answered, “I asked Kyuubi the same thing…cursed him out actually…asking why he hadn’t done it when I still had Sasuke so I could’ve kept him. The fox just said he never trusted the bastard and refused to give something so special to him. He didn’t do it to hurt me…he did it because he was trying to protect me. Then he said that when someone came along he found worthy, he’d make the change.”
The blonde sighed in a disheartened way as his brilliant blue eyes glazed over in sadness and his voice was quiet when he spoke. “I don’t think that really matters anymore anyway. Sasuke had a pretty fucked up life and he tossed me away without batting an eye. It’s doubtful anyone would want to take his place in my life, let alone have kids with me.”
“I don’t know about that. The Hyuuga’s like you. Hinata always has and Neji has as well since your fight in the chuunin exams. Actually Kiba likes you too.” Shino said struggling to keep his voice steady as the words fell from his lips. He didn’t want to send Naruto anywhere else; he wanted the fox as his own but wasn’t sure how he would take it. The Aburame would much rather keep the blonde close as a friend then lose him because of his own feelings.
“Really? I didn’t know that. It still doesn’t matter though. Hinata is already promised to another of the Hyuuga clan to keep the bloodline strong and I’m sure Neji will be following her in that soon enough. And Kiba…Kiba’s mom wants him to have a wife I think. From what I know of the Inuzuka clan, I don’t think a relationship between the two of us would be accepted if it was anything other than friends.” Naruto said as he sunk down into the water until only half of his face, from nose up, was visible.
Shino sighed as he lowered more into the water but crept slightly away from the falls. “My clan isn’t that narrow-minded really it’s just that, it’s easier for us to marry others from the Aburame.”
Wide blue eyes gazed at him intensely, “Why is that?”
“Well,” the bug-nin started as he settled more into a new spot on the rocky ledge, “it all just comes from the kikaichu I suppose. No matter how good our control over the bugs is, they are still extremely dangerous. If our emotions change enough to loosen our control, they can easily get free and unless you either have chakra to burn or are an Aburame, they are deadly. If one of us was to be…intimate…with someone that doesn’t fit into either said category, they could easily be killed in a moment of passion. It’s only ever a risk if it is with someone we love or feel strongly about though so it really doesn’t happen often.
Most times, there are arranged marriages, made simply to keep the clan alive. Whether with one of our own or another, it doesn’t matter because there usually aren’t emotions involved that would make our focus waver. My father and mother’s marriage was arranged and my father always tells me that he wants me to love who I love. He grew to love my mother and they are very happy together but he wants me to have a chance to find love on my own. It’s difficult because of who I am.”
The blonde sighed wistfully, his eyes watching Shino though they held an almost distant look to them. “I’d never really known what love was like. I didn’t get any real affection at all until I was twelve and got to know Iruka-sensei. Sandaime tried to do the best he could but he was Hokage and I fell through the cracks a lot. I think that’s why I latched onto Sasuke so tightly when we got together. I loved him and was willing to accept his compliance to be with me as love returned, even though it really wasn’t. As much as I love Konoha and the friend’s I’ve made, I don’t think I’ll ever find the kind of love I always wanted from Sasuke there.”
A head of dark hair snapped up to look at the blonde sharply, a multitude of emotions flashing across his violet eyes. He couldn’t have heard that right…had he? Was Naruto…considering leaving? He had to be sure before he said anything.
“Naruto? What…what do you mean?”
Leaning his head back against the wall of the onsen, the fox holder looked up into the afternoon sky, his eyes following some lazily moving clouds. “What do I have there Shino? My friends are already getting paired up and being made ready to marry, I have no family, I always wanted to be Hokage but I don’t know if the village or the elders would allow it. I couldn’t keep Sasuke with me no matter how much I loved him…what’s the point? I was always alone before but after getting so close to so many people…I don’t know how well I’d be able to handle it if they all just went on with their lives and I was left by myself again. Not that I don’t want them all to find happiness…but I’ve tasted happiness myself now, even if only for a little while, and I am pretty sure not having any at all would kill me.”
Shino couldn’t tear his eyes away from the blonde even if he tried. Almost desperately he wanted Naruto to look at him; he wanted to see those beautiful blue eyes so he could know for sure if he was serious. The fox was good at hiding away from people, slipping a happy smile on his lips and acting like a fool, but Shino had been one of few - he counted himself lucky - that had seen the real man behind the mask…the boy that cried out for love and attention. However, his fellow shinobi was steadfastly keeping his gaze averted, studying the sky like Shikamaru. “You want to leave Konoha?”
A weary sigh escaped soft pink lips as Naruto closed his eyes. “I don’t know that I really want to Shino but I am tired of feeling so lost and alone. Even when I was with Sasuke I still felt that way a lot of the time. I want to be selfish for once and find my own happiness…I want to be loved so badly that it hurts and sometimes makes me sick. And the sad thing is I don’t know how well I would handle it if someone actually did love me. I’ve gone without it for so long…
…but I want it so much.”
Before he had even really realized his own movement, Shino found himself standing in front of the blonde, looking down on scarred, tan skin and getting lost in sad, azure eyes. His entire torso was bared to the flaxen-haired ninja and he didn’t even care about how badly his body was scarred. Seeing Naruto so miserable and melancholy twisted his heart because the man wasn’t meant for that kind of pain.
“Would you change your mind if someone already loved you?”
“Who would love me Shino? I’m a monster.” Despondent blue eyes gazed into his, the fractures on his heart left by Sasuke as clear to his eyes as the tears that welled in those turbulent oceans and he knew that no matter what was to happen in the following days or when their mission was over, he had to speak up. He no longer cared about his previous determination to keep his feelings to himself because if there was even a small chance that what he felt could help heal the one he loved then he would do whatever it took. Shino’s only hope was that he could survive his own broken heart if Naruto rejected him.
Leaning towards the blonde, the bug-nin nuzzled his pale cheek against Naruto’s whiskered face before moving to his ear. Pressing his lips closely, the soft flesh grazing against the fox’s sensitive skin and causing him to shudder, he answered truthfully, knowing his own confession could either make or break them both. “I would and do.”
The warm body before the bug-nin froze completely and he pulled away to see cerulean eyes wide with shock and disbelief. Not a word or a whimper slipped through Naruto’s lips and Shino suddenly felt a wave of uncertainty fill him. Had he done the wrong thing? No! He couldn’t think that way! It had to be said, even if it pushed Naruto away, Shino couldn’t let him leave the Leaf - leave him - because he thought no one loved him.
“S-Shino? What…what are you saying?” Finally Naruto found his voice, though it was soft and hesitant, crystalline tears glimmering in his azure orbs.
Breathing deeply to settle his nerves - or at least attempt to - the dark-haired ninja leaned forward once more and placed a tiny kiss on a whiskered cheek. “I’m saying I love you Naruto. I have for a long time now.”
Naruto shuddered violently with a stifled sob and tears trailed down his cheeks in torrents. Had he heard that right? Did…did someone really love him? Like that? Like he’d loved Sasuke? “Why Shino? How…how could you love me…knowing all that you do about me?”
Quietly and swiftly, the Aburame wrapped the blonde in a hug, his mind too occupied with saying his peace now that he’d made the opportunity to pay attention to the fact that he was naked and wet and pressed tightly against the object of his desire that happened to be just as naked and wet as he was. “I think…I think it’s because I do know so much about you Naruto. You have gone through so much, so many pains and hardships that would break most people and yet you stay strong, you don’t let it get to you. I know that Sasuke held your heart for a long time - and probably still does - but I couldn’t risk you leaving the village thinking no one cared.”
Burrowing his face into the bug-nin’s neck, Naruto whimpered slightly as all the pain from the past welled up inside him. So many years and so much time had been spent pushing things away and repressing all the hurt he’d felt all his life and all it took were some well-placed words from Shino to send him tumbling into a sea of emotion and tears. Sasuke never would have said something like that to him, even if he had walked straight up to the raven and told him point blank he was leaving the village and not planning to return.
Clutching desperately at the soft skin of the dark-haired shinobi’s back, the blonde nuzzled his nose against Shino’s collarbone and whispered “What about your family?”
Shino tightened his grip around the fox, his throat threatening to constrict with the emotions he was holding back, and answered with a question of his own, “What do you mean?”
“Won’t they be upset with you…for wanting me?”
Deep purple eyes widened slightly at how pitiful the normally strong jounin sounded and he pressed a kiss to Naruto’s head, “I told you my father wanted me to find my own love.”
“I don’t think he was anticipating having to include me as a possibility Shino.” The blonde whispered dejectedly, savoring the warmth from the dark-haired ninja and the rarely felt contact of skin against skin.
The Aburame loosened his hold on the fox, biting back a smile at the whine of protest his actions were rewarded with, and looked into still watery cerulean eyes. “Naruto, my family knows all about you. The entire clan knows everything about what happened that day when Kyuubi no Kitsune attacked Konoha. We all know that you truly are a hero and we have never hated you or placed the blame on your shoulders. It is well known amongst the Aburame that not even the fox himself was responsible for his actions.”
Blue eyes widened almost comically and Shino knew if the situation hadn’t been so serious he would have laughed. Naruto’s lower lip trembled dangerously and the bug-nin simply wrapped the younger boy in a hug once more, easily content to have the love of his life in his arms. The blonde’s voice came out muffled and soft when he spoke next, the warm wisps of his breath dancing across the Aburame’s pale skin. “Shino? If you knew…about me…the truth, I mean, why didn’t you talk to me when we were in the academy?”
Flinching internally at the wounded tone of his love’s voice, the bug-nin sighed lightly and rested his forehead against Naruto’s shoulder, “I wanted to but I was shy. I’ve never talked much, even when I was a kid. I had hoped we’d be assigned to the same genin team so I had more of a reason to approach you but it didn’t work out that way. I thought for sure that if I just came up to you and started trying to be your friend you’d think it was some kind of mean joke.”
Before he’d recognized the movement, Shino found himself pushed slightly away from Naruto and staring down into impossibly blue, heartbreakingly melancholy eyes and a sad smile. “You’re right you know. I would’ve thought it was a mean joke. Actually, those kinds of jokes got played on me a lot.”
A resigned sigh escaped petal soft lips while Naruto kept his gaze locked with vivid purple eyes, “Are you serious about this Shino? I really am a basket case.”
The corners of the dark-haired shinobi’s lips twitched up into a smile and something akin to relief and happiness swirled in amethyst eyes, “Yes I’m sure. I just want a chance to show you that you deserve to be loved just like everyone else.”
His smile turned a little more genuine then, his cerulean eyes losing some of the taint of sorrow and he whispered, “Okay then.”
~*~
A sad, heavy sigh escaped Naruto’s soft lips as he rolled over in bed and was met with emptiness. Sasuke was gone again. The two had been ‘together’ for almost six months, their relationship having started when the raven was successfully retrieved from the Sound village, and yet the dark-haired boy never stayed with the blonde. The two would meet up, at Naruto’s apartment and never Sasuke’s house, after training or missions or several times throughout the week. At first, they had just spent time together, trying to repair the damage done by the Uchiha’s defection from Konohagakure.
One month had passed and after a particularly extensive training period, the teammates had adjourned to the blonde shinobi’s house to clean up and change before getting something to eat. Once their stomachs had been satisfied, Sasuke and Naruto headed for the dobe’s place so the raven could pick up his clothes and go home. Halfway there, they’d started to argue and by the time they were within the walls of Naruto’s small apartment, they were making out and tearing clothes out of the way.
The sexual sessions between the two were always heated and frenzied and the blonde didn’t mind in the least. His eighteen year old body could take more of a beating than any other ninja in the village and his stamina had often times proved an irritant to the stoic raven. After every round, the blonde would fall asleep and Sasuke would leave. The first few times it happened, Naruto didn’t think anything of it really, assuming the Uchiha just wasn’t comfortable with possibly letting the nature of their relationship out in the open yet.
Still after just over half a year, it was the same thing. The fox and the raven would have frantic, almost violent, sex, Naruto would sleep and Sasuke would leave soon after, always under the cover of night. It had also become habit that the poor blonde wouldn’t see his lover for at least a day after their nighttime rendezvous and the longer it persisted, the more worried he became.
The Kyuubi vessel had loved the Sharingan wielder for a long time and even if their interludes were never romantic, he was happy just to have the other so close to him. Soon it wasn’t enough though.
Whether behind closed doors or out in the open for the world to see, Sasuke still treated Naruto the way he always had; as a loudmouth, unskilled nuisance. For all the years they were teammates and even the first four months of their get-togethers, he’d dismissed his lover’s actions towards him as simply being ‘Sasuke’. Although the world thought Naruto a dimwit, he really wasn’t and he could tell that something just wasn’t right with what they were doing, regardless of how much he cared for the older teen.
Over the last two months, their sex life had declined horribly. Sasuke was even more hurried and aggressive than ever before and would assure he reached his peak long before the blonde was close and simply finished the boy off with his hand, if he finished the task at all.
And he still always left.
Tension had risen within his team as well and Naruto was clueless as to why. He knew there was more going on then he was being privileged to know and it ate at him inside to know without a doubt that it concerned his lover.
Heaving another despairing sigh, the blonde pulled himself from his cold bed and wandered towards his bathroom, intent on taking a hot shower and going out to get some food.
~*~
“Thanks ojii-chan!” Naruto called as he slapped some money down on the counter and left Ichiraku, his mood a little lighter after having some of his comfort food. Not to say he didn’t really love ramen, because he did, but it was one of the only places he could get fresh food and good service and since he was always rather melancholy - despite his cheerful façade - he ate it a lot. With a smile and a wave from the owner, the blonde walked away from one of the very few places he was actually comforted, his mind working a million miles a minute.
Something was up with the whole of Team 7 and he had to find out what was going on. His teammates couldn’t be so edgy for no reason but Naruto really had no idea how to go about finding anything out. While Kakashi-sensei was nice enough, he was still almost as secretive as the ever stoic Sasuke and Sakura was still always blinded by her affection for the Uchiha and had never really liked him to begin with, so he was sure he wouldn’t find anything of any importance from anyone actually in the cell. His only other option would be to find someone who might have an inkling of an idea but the list of people that would know was small.
Perhaps even non-existent.
Many of the shinobi and kunoichi of the village didn’t trust the Uchiha yet, even if the villagers did so blindly, so the blonde was sure that there wouldn’t be anyone amongst his fellow ninja that would know anything, simply because they didn’t want to get too close to the returned raven.
Even though Naruto was thinking hard, he was still wandering about aimlessly and therefore only noticed he had entered the forest when he literally ran into a hard body and tumbled to the ground. Shaking his head to clear the spots that danced behind his eyelids from slamming his head onto the hard forest floor, the blonde looked up and was rather surprised to find Kakashi standing there.
“Kakashi-sensei? What are you doing out here?” The fox asked as he rubbed at the back of his head and stood up from the ground, brushing his clothes free of grass and dirt.
The Copy-nin looked at his student for a long moment. Their entire past together as student and teacher played in his mind and he was glad that the majority of his face was covered to hide the grimace that came with his thoughts. He’d never really paid much attention to the boy, certainly not as much as the other two ninja in his cell and definitely not enough to be considered a worthy teacher. As a matter of fact, Jiraiya had been a far better sensei to the blonde fox in only the two and a half years they’d traveled and trained together then Kakashi ever had.
Guilt flooded his body knowing how badly he had treated his beloved sensei’s legacy.
And now he knew - and was hiding - something that would hurt the boy far worse than any of his previous negligence had. He refused to tell Naruto anything for two reasons. One: it wasn’t his position to breathe a word. Two: he couldn’t really stand to be the one that dealt yet another harsh blow to the young man.
He himself had done more than enough of that thus far.
When the chuunin exams had come around, he’d pawned the boy off on Ebisu so he could focus on Sasuke, thinking the Uchiha needed him more, to learn what he could not only for the exams but to fend off Orochimaru should the need arise. In the end, the raven had gone willingly to the snake sannin and his time and effort was proved wasted. For a long while, Kakashi had tried displacing his guilt by thinking that things had turned out for the best for Naruto because of his actions; he’d thought it was because of his abandonment of the blonde that he’d come to train with the Toad Sage.
Now he realized he never deserved any of the respect the boy had ever held for him.
“Just enjoying the calm Naruto-kun. It isn’t often that we jounin get a decent break.” The lie fell from his lips as smooth as silk and left a bitter taste in the back of his throat. Understanding and compassion flashed through those wide sapphire eyes at the words he’d uttered and he literally felt sick to his stomach.
“Ano sa, ano sa Kakashi-sensei…have you seen Sasuke anywhere? I really need to talk to him.” Though Naruto had already known the elite ninja would tell him nothing if he asked about what was going on, he hoped he had at least seen his lover around and wouldn’t lie to him about it.
Kakashi found he couldn’t let another lie bubble up from his throat at the emotions in those sky blue eyes. It seemed as though the cheerful mask the blonde always wore had slipped for a discrete moment in time and the man saw everything the boy felt. He was sad, scared and oh so lonely. “He’s at his house Naruto-kun but I think he’s busy. It’d be best not to disturb him now.”
A wide grin curled the blonde’s lips and Kakashi felt his stomach twist, “Ariagato Kakashi-sensei! Bye!”
He watched the teen wave and dash off through the forest towards the Uchiha district, completely disregarding his words, “I warned you Naruto.”
~*~
Grunts and various noises reached the blonde’s ears as he tiptoed through the house. He’d been in Sasuke’s house before and wasn’t the least bit ashamed to walk in and was hoping to take his lover by surprise. The noises though sounded more like a fight or maybe a sparring match. He recognized both Sasuke and Sakura’s chakra so he assumed the two were training or sparring. Following the sounds, he made his way up the stairs and soon found himself standing in front of the raven’s bedroom door, a very puzzled look on his face though somewhere in the back of his mind he knew what was going on.
A heavy feeling of dread settled in his stomach quickly and he had to force himself to breathe deeply in order to keep calm. Lifting a shaky hand to the door, he flung it wide and his sensitive nose was instantly assaulted with the scent of sex. He stepped in the room, already knowing what he’d find but wanting to confirm it with his eyes, and looked towards the bed.
His teammates were naked, flushed and sweaty. Sasuke was between Sakura’s thighs and her calves were over his shoulders. Hastily pulling a blanket around herself, the pink-haired kunoichi let her legs slide from their positions to lie flat on the bed, her face flaming. The raven just stared at him, not bothering to move from his position inside the woman or cover his body in the least, with his normal icy glare.
Naruto licked his lips and found his voice, “Sasuke?”
“You didn’t think that just because I had you to fuck that I would forget about reviving my clan did you? I need a woman for that and you just won’t do.” After delivering such a harsh blow to the first friend the Uchiha had ever had, Sasuke turned away from the blonde and continued what had been interrupted, seemingly not caring in the least.
Tears filled his ocean blue eyes at the clear dismissal and Naruto quickly formed some seals, the transportation jutsu taking him straight out of the Uchiha district and back into Konoha. Without waiting for anything - and not caring that his vision was blurry - the fox sprinted back towards his house, wanting to be as far away as possible.
~*~
As soon as he’d made it within the confines of his apartment, Naruto ran to the bathroom and purged his stomach, his sobs echoing off the tiled walls and ringing in his ears. Once his stomach was empty, he blew his nose and turned on the water in the sink, washing his mouth out. When he left the small bathroom, the blonde realized that there wasn’t a single area in his home where he hadn’t had a moment of some sort with the first person he loved, the one person that truly broke his heart. He had to leave at least for awhile. There was no way he could stand to be there, with the Uchiha’s scent still lingering in the air.
Tears filled his eyes again as he stumbled towards his front door, quietly leaving into the darkness that was starting to settle over the village. As fast as his legs could carry him, Naruto sprinted towards Hokage tower, ready to demand a mission that would take him far away from Konoha - and his teammates - as soon as possible, hoping Tsunade would grant his wish.
Within moments he was at her office door and simply walked in, not bothering with greeting Izumo and Kotetsu who let him pass without question. Once he was inside, he closed the door softly and watched as the Hokage’s eyes rose from the papers on her desk to meet his, a sharp reprimand on the tip of her tongue. The words died in her throat at the tears that spilled down tan, whiskered cheeks and the broken look in those azure eyes. Her stomach lurched when she realized something had happened…something had happened between him and Sasuke. The Godaime didn’t even spare the man in the chair across from her desk a glance before getting up and walking to the young man who had always been like a little brother to her and wrapping him in a hug. He was taller than her, so he buried his face against her neck and sobbed; the feeling of her blonde hair against his forehead and the strength of her arms around him giving him a sense of security.
The blonde didn’t care that he was a jounin crying on the Hokage like a two year old. All that mattered to him was the warmth and safety he felt from one of the only people to care about him. Tsunade’s nimble fingers sifted through strands of sunshine while she gently swayed her body from side to side as the teen sobbed in her arms. Soon the cries quieted and the shaking stopped under the woman’s tender ministrations and she felt relief flood her system as the breaths against her neck became slow and even. Pressing a gentle kiss to shaggy golden locks, the Hokage used her insane strength to lift the sturdily built blonde into her arms and carried him to her chambers. After getting him settled down in her soft bedding, she tucked a blanket around his shoulders, brushed some stray locks of hair from his face and kissed his forehead, breathing a soft goodnight into his slumbering ears before leaving him.
After settling back in her chair behind her desk, the fifth Hokage of Konohagakure turned her attention to her guest who regarded her with serious and questioning eyes. Shifting her weight slightly, Tsunade-hime pulled open the bottom drawer of her desk and lifted out a bottle of sake and two cups. After filling both, she passed one to her guest and tossed her own back before refilling it, taking a sip and setting it down. She looked across her desk at the one sitting in front of her, still staring at her as if awaiting an explanation. While she knew that the whole of Rookie 9 and Team Gai were suspicious of the relationship between the fox and the raven, there were only a few who were positive that they were lovers.
Surprisingly, Shino was one of them.
Tsunade preferred seeing the faces of her visitors unfettered for the most part and, as with Naruto and his ANBU mask, Shino had long ago become accustomed to removing his sunglasses while in her presence. Now his dark, somber eyes were watching her like a hawk but she was thankful for it. To her it was only a sign that the Aburame was concerned for the heartbroken fox and she knew that Naruto was going to need all the support he could get. While she didn’t know the specifics of what had occurred between the Uchiha heir and the Yondaime’s legacy, she was more than aware that her pink-haired apprentice had been sleeping with Sasuke.
She wasn’t Hokage for nothing and there wasn’t anything going on in her village that she was unaware of.
“Hokage-sama,” the normally cool and soft voice of the bug-nin sounded tight and strained while his usually hidden dark eyes writhed with anger, “was that…Naruto?”
Deep-felt sorrow flooded her hazel eyes even as her entire body tightened in anger. What she wouldn’t give to have the other two members of Team 7 standing before her right now. She was in need of some serious venting. “I’m afraid so Shino-kun.”
A deep breath, “What happened to him? I…I don’t think I’ve ever…seen him cry.”
Tears stung the backs of her eyes but she bit them back, refusing to break down in front of the jounin before her. Her little brother needed her right now, she could cry for him later. “You are aware of the…relationship he and the Uchiha held?”
A nod and she continued, “It has come to my attention over the past month that Sakura and Sasuke have been sleeping together, though for how long it’s been happening I don’t know. I can only assume that Naruto has just discovered it.”
“However much he loved the Uchiha, even finding out he was unfaithful, should not have done that to him Hokage-sama.” Shino replied with anger barely restrained. Naruto had, surprisingly, become a very close friend to Shino and the quiet shinobi had never dared to question why. The blonde was everything he wasn’t and for some odd reason, the dark-haired boy had found himself drawn to the fox. Ever since the two had started their relationship, the bug-nin had kept an eye on them with his kikaichu but since he’d been gone for nearly three months on a mission, he had no knowledge that Sasuke was treating the blonde so badly.
“I know. I am sure it was something far worse than just finding out. I am willing to bet he caught them together in some way…but there has to be more to it. Naruto is too strong to be that completely torn apart, even by something as cruel as what his so-called teammates did.”
“…there is more…” A weary and soft voice echoed in the sudden silence of the room and the two snapped their attention to the door leading to the Hokage’s personal chambers, where Naruto stood with a blanket wrapped around him. His normally bright azure eyes were watery and washed out to a dreary grey-blue; tear tracks stained his tan cheeks and his blonde hair was listless and dull.
He looked nothing like the number one hyperactive knucklehead ninja of Konoha who was responsible for bringing the defected Uchiha heir home.
Naruto shook his head as Tsunade made to stand and walked over to a small couch against the wall, facing her desk. After laying down and curling up on his side, the blonde looked at the two with tired and unbelievably sad eyes. “Nee-chan…can I have a mission? I don’t care what or where…I just…I don’t think I can handle staying here right now.”
Although she was really expecting a question like that, she hadn’t been expecting it to come so soon. Tsunade had thought he might try to deal with it at least before throwing in the towel and it only proved how heartbroken he really was. Tear filled hazel orbs scrutinized the depressed blonde lying on her couch and just as she was about to go to him, Shino stood from his chair and approached Naruto in silent strides. Once he was standing over the broken man, he knelt on the floor in front of the couch and wrapped his arms around the blonde, pulling him into his chest and hugging him tightly. The dam broke and torrents of tears slipped from pained sapphire eyes to soak into the Aburame’s coat. The fox didn’t wail or sob, simply cried silently while gripping the back of the dark-haired nin’s coat in a white-knuckled grip.
The poor teen couldn’t really remember the last time he’d been hugged so well.
After a few moments, Shino pulled back from the still teary-eyed blonde and tilted Naruto’s head up with a gentle grip on his strong jaw, “Naruto, we can’t help you if you don’t tell us what’s wrong.”
A deep sigh left the fox’s lips as he averted his eyes and he looked so bone weary and defeated that Shino was almost tempted to tell him he didn’t have to say a thing, however he was a smart one and knew that there would be no way for Naruto to get over whatever had happened unless he talked about it. Besides that, he wanted ammo against the Uchiha. Although he knew very well that the stoic boy never treated the blonde any better then he ever had - and considering the nature of their relationship that was more than enough to warrant an ass beating in his opinion - he wanted to know for sure what was said so that when the time came, he could exploit how stupid the returned shinobi was.
“Things…haven’t been so good the last couple months. We’d meet up at my place after or mission or whenever…and after everything was over, I’d go to sleep - or pretend to sleep - and he would leave. Then I wouldn’t see anything of him for at least a day. I knew something was going on but I didn’t know what. Everything was so tense in Team 7 and I wanted to know what was wrong with Sasuke and my team.
I ran into Kakashi-sensei and asked if he’d seen Sasuke…he told me…oh god. He was trying to tell me and I didn’t listen! He said Sasuke was at his house but he was busy. He told me I shouldn’t bother him…but I went to his house anyway. I found Sakura’s chakra signature inside but I just thought maybe they were sparring or Sakura was healing him from something. I-I walked in on them…and the bastard didn’t even try to hide what was going on!”
He was in tears again, the pain raw and unrelenting in his eyes as they filled with water, “He…he asked me…if I thought that he’d give up on reviving his clan…just…just because he…he had me to fuck. He said he needed a woman for that…and I…I just wouldn’t do.”
It was still too much for him and he collapsed into sobs, only vaguely feeling Shino pull him into a hug again. Naruto was glad the bug-nin was there because his calm nature and soft voice was helping to comfort him more than anything else could. Even though the Uchiha was his lover, he realized he never felt loved by the raven. Sasuke never hugged him or held him or comforted him in any way. There had been quite a few times in the past where the Aburame had just sat and listened to him talk or given him a shoulder to cry on - literally - and he never insulted him or berated him or made him feel worthless for being so emotional.
Shino never called him a nuisance and he even knew about the Kyuubi.
“What else Naruto.” Tsunade asked once the blonde had calmed once more. She knew there was more to everything, she could see it when she looked into those crushed sapphire orbs and it was tearing her apart inside.
Naruto looked to the Hokage with wide, teary eyes wondering how she knew. He shook his head. It didn’t matter how she knew because she did and he knew that even if he didn’t want to say it he had to. She needed to know and she was asking him more than demanding he answer. Besides, she was one of the few people he could always count on and he wasn’t about to jeopardize that by lying to her. She’d see through it anyway.
He was a bad liar.
“The bastard always said he wanted to revive his clan after he’d killed Itachi. His brother is still alive and he never mentioned anything about kids, not like he ever talked to me much anyway, but I knew he didn’t want to have kids until Itachi was gone.”
The blonde took a deep breath here, knowing what was to come next was going to shock the hell of Tsunade and Shino. He could only hope they weren’t disgusted by it. “Because of the Kyuubi I can have kids if I decide I want them. It’d be different because I’m not a female…but the fox said that he could manipulate our chakra in a way that would change my body to let me become pregnant. I could have given Sasuke kids. I…I could have been good enough…”
This time the hug he received was a combination of Shino and Tsunade and the warmth and safety he felt from their embrace soothed his hurting heart. It made him think that maybe he was better than Sasuke ever made him out to be; that maybe, just maybe he was worthy of being loved. He wanted to believe it so much because he had been alone so long. He had truly loved the raven but it was only there in the Hokage’s office that he was able to know that the man had never loved him. His heart wilted at the thought but he knew there was no point in denying its truth.
Sasuke had never loved him, despite all he’d done for the man.
Only because Naruto was Naruto did his mood change rather quickly. Feelings of sorrow, despair and betrayal hardened into determination and resolve. Letting the raven see how broken he was would do nothing for him but make him feel worse; he refused to let that bastard break him, not after all that he’d survived. Sasuke could have Sakura and his happy little family and Naruto…Naruto would move on.
~*~
A loud snarl of incoherent curses sliced through the air of the clearing Team 7 used to train in as Sasuke threw a punch at a nearby tree, his chakra laden fist tearing through bark easily and casting the tree to splinters, the top half tumbling over with a resounding ‘crash’. Blazing Sharingan eyes swirled madly, the delicate and normally stoic features of the Uchiha twisted and contorted in anger and pain.
Things weren’t supposed to be this way, the raven growled in his mind as he smashed his fist through another tree. Everything had blown up in his face and he wanted to kick his own ass for being so stupid. Where had his reputed ‘Uchiha Genius’ gone anyway? He’d loved the blonde more than he ever thought he could love anything and he had crushed the man’s heart.
It was no big surprise that he needed to revive his clan and he had planned to get Sakura pregnant and then break the news to Naruto. He thought he’d been stealthy enough, believed in Naruto’s blind trust of him enough that he had actually assumed his plan would work. He didn’t want the pink haired kunoichi but she was acceptable as the mother for his child. The raven had come to the realization that he needed to have a child before he faced Itachi. In case he didn’t survive the fight, at least his blood would already be passed on.
His original thought was to impregnate Sakura, tell Naruto and wait for the storm of his lover’s emotions to fade away. After some time apart had passed, he planned to find his blonde and tell him everything. He had been counting on Naruto’s love for him to hear him out; had depended on their love for one another to repair the rift his actions would cause. Everything was easier played through in his mind than it was acted out in life. It had come to his attention very quickly that if he approached Sakura after having been with Naruto, he couldn’t focus on what he had to do. Therefore, he slowed down his visits with his love and distanced himself. He found carrying out his task with the pink-haired female somewhat easier if he avoided Naruto after they’d been together.
Eventually, he spent less and less time with the man because when he was around the blonde he felt his will shrivel and he couldn’t afford that when his family line rested on his shoulders. He’d only had Naruto to himself for a short three months before he’d put his plan into action and had been seeing Sakura sparsely at first. Then he spent more time with her than the one who held his heart and during the times where he would actually venture to the blonde’s domain, their encounters were always fueled by his restricted passion for the man. Not once in the short six months they had been together had he ever just made love to Naruto.
Never once had he told the fair-haired jounin how much he loved him.
Throughout all his planning, he had never anticipated Naruto actually catching him in his wretched acts. Sasuke hadn’t even wanted him to know until he was sure his heir was being carried by the female member of their former cell. He almost lost his convictions to revive his clan when he’d seen those brilliant sapphire gems shatter. The Uchiha had actually witnessed Naruto’s heart breaking and it took everything he had not to abandon the woman on the bed and wrap the blonde in his arms. With all the restraint he could muster he’d stayed still and his mouth had taken over. Such horrible words had poured from his lips and he hated himself for it.
Naruto had been gone from his vision in a breath’s time and then Sasuke had been unable to find him at all. Thinking the blonde was only on a mission and would be back in a week or possibly two, he’d thought it was the best thing. Already aware of how sensitive the fox-boy was, the Uchiha had figured the situation was for the best. It would let Naruto have some time away from his heartbreak and Sasuke - having nothing better to do with his time - had used the weeks provided to bed Sakura as many times as he could stand.
Soon though weeks had doubled and tripled, turning to months before he knew what’d happened. He scoured the village at least twice a week and never caught so much as a trace of Naruto’s chakra. After three months had passed, the raven had gone to consult the Hokage and inquire as to his blonde’s absence.
He received a punch to the face and was systematically thrown from her office.
Worry had flooded his heart and mind, wondering where his love was and why he’d been absent so long. Eventually being with Sakura just became routine and he would spend the free time he had away from training, missions and attempted procreation holed up in Naruto’s too empty apartment. The way he treated the fox - even before his hair brained scheme to acquire an heir - was deplorable he’d come to realize as he thought over everything in the lonely apartment that only faintly smelled of the one he loved. He’d been a right bastard that had never deserved the blonde’s love or affection in the first place but he’d had it, given to him on a silver platter.
And he had thrown it all away.
With his depression and worry came determination to confess everything to the man once the fox returned from wherever he was.
~*~
Four months had come to pass since the blonde had found out about his lover’s treachery and since that day in the Hokage’s office, he and Shino had been on a mission. Naruto had been relieved and eternally grateful to Tsunade for granting him his wish for a mission and she had even given him one that was at least eight months long; a bodyguard mission for an extremely important traveling monk, which meant he got to see even more of the world than he had with Jiraiya. It came as a surprise to the fox that Shino had requested to go with him but he certainly wasn’t going to object. Despite the fact that more than enough people found the Aburame clan weird and creepy, Naruto was rather fascinated by them. He had the soul of a demon sealed in his body but the idea of having live insects that used your own flesh as their home and your chakra as their energy was kind of intriguing.
Their charge had been thoroughly impressed with the level of skill the young shinobi possessed and even more awed by how well the two fought together, even though the two seemed to be polar opposites. For the first month of their mission, the blonde had been in an understandable funk. Even though Shino had never been close enough to someone to be betrayed the way Naruto had, he could empathize with the fox’s feelings. He had the suspicion that somehow, his kikaichu could feel the emotions in the boy’s complex chakra and transmitted them to him.
Finally though, the storm had broken. One night during their normal training ritual, the Kyuubi vessel had snapped and the cork that held his emotions back popped. Brilliant, angry red chakra had exploded from the blonde’s body in a flurry of energy and Shino had been hard pressed to stay alive under the raging assault the boy had posed. Punches, kicks, shuriken and kunai were thrown at an eye-popping pace and the bug-nin knew then and there that even a shinobi with an advanced bloodline, like the Hyuuga and Uchiha, would have had one hell of a time keeping track of everything. The most amazing part of the entire display was the perfect grace that Naruto fought with and the incredible strength that thrummed through his muscles. Shino had been caught with a punch once or twice and he was thankful that his friend was still somewhat in control of himself, for surely had he been an enemy he would’ve been dead from a single hit. In the end, it was only through his kikaichu that he had escaped the fray with only a few minor injuries.
Thankfully, the bugs had gorged on the rich and powerful chakra and slowly worn his friend down.
Of course, he’d also had to deal with a plethora of apologies - and tearful hugs - from the fox for what had happened but he took them all in stride, finding that he rather liked having the blonde so close to him. Shino was an incredibly smart and observant person. While a lot of people can be observant of others, oftentimes they aren’t very in tune with themselves. The young Aburame was an exception to that rule. He knew very well that he had fallen for the kitsune container in the past year or so and the only thing that had kept him from making a move was the Uchiha. First it had been because Naruto and Sasuke were together…now it was because they weren’t and Naruto had been left broken.
His affection for - and attraction to - Naruto were the reasons for requesting to accompany the blonde on his mission. He figured that even if he could never actually say anything to the boy concerning his feelings, at least he could be there as a friend to help him through his heartache. Over the past two months though, the fox had been displaying some more Naruto-esque qualities that warmed Shino’s heart and lifted a weight from his chest.
Now, the two Konoha jounin were currently off-duty for the day and were heading to an onsen in a town in Wave Country after a heavy training session. Shino mused as they walked that he had gotten far better workouts training with the blonde shinobi then he ever had training with anyone else. He was surprised that more of the ninja in Konoha didn’t beg to spar with Naruto until he realized the fact that there probably weren’t many people that actually knew how talented he was. The Aburame never failed to be awed and impressed with the depth of skill his companion possessed and he wondered at the Uchiha’s stupidity. Naruto had been all his; all that power, beauty, love and affection had all been his and he’d tossed it away.
Yeah, Sasuke had officially taken the name ‘dobe’ in his book.
Naruto smiled happily once they were inside the spring, breathing the steamy mineral air deep into his lungs. “Man this is great! I haven’t been to a hot spring in ages! Every time I was near one when I trained with Jiraiya, we’d get kicked out before I even got to see the inside because the old man couldn’t keep his perverted eyes from the women’s side and I was never allowed in the one in Konoha.”
Shino was rather surprised by the tone in the blonde’s voice at the last part of his sentence. He made being banned from places in his home village sound as though he was talking about the weather and really, it made the dark-haired man rather sad. Naruto had bled, cried, sweat and nearly died on numerous occasions for Konohagakure; he was the only reason the entire village hadn’t been brought to the ground by Kyuubi no Kitsune and yet they still treated him badly. At least the ninja of the village treated him well…except those within his cell.
Just thinking about their debauchery caused rage to flow in his veins and steel bands of sorrow to stifle his heart. A cry of delight brought him away from darker thoughts - such as allowing his kikaichu to feast on the bastard and bitch in question until they no longer had enough energy to even draw air into their lungs - and to the present, where sunshine personified was happily toeing off his sandals and pulling the jounin vest from his torso. As the black t-shirt and fishnet shirt were stripped away Shino was happy for having such a high collar to hide his blush. He never would have imagined that under all those clothes Naruto had a body like the one on display.
Warm beams of sunlight danced across his slightly sweaty torso, highlighting the ridges between every hard muscle on his chest and shoulders, and made his blonde hair glow. Cerulean eyes reflected the sky above them, twinkling in happiness and anticipation of the warm mineral water. Dark eyes traced a bead of perspiration down the strong muscles of the fox’s back as they flexed and rippled beneath beautifully tanned skin hungrily as the boy turned slightly to kick his growing pile of clothes further to the side.
Shaking his head slightly to clear away his less-than-virtuous thoughts, Shino went about disrobing himself, more than ready to relax in the steamy water and not just a little bit anxious over being there naked with an equally naked Naruto. Thankfully, he was far too reserved to just pounce on the blonde but he was more than positive that he would be stretching even his limits; especially when he looked up from sliding his large coat off and removing his sandals to get a full view of a very naked and very - he blushed faintly - tanned backside. Did the fox sunbathe nude?
Forcing back an impending nosebleed and willing his thoughts to keep to the fact that Naruto had just been horribly betrayed, the Aburame finished stripping in record time and slid into the hot water, sighing in contentment as his body relaxed.
Naruto eyed Shino as he relaxed against the side of the onsen with his glasses off and eyes closed. The blonde had mused more than once how odd it was that even his own teammates rarely saw the bug-nin sans eyewear and yet Naruto was becoming more and more hard pressed to remember a time when he hadn’t seen him in such a way. He knew that the Aburame clan all wore them - for traditions sake, Shino had once said - but honestly, he could never figure out why Shino would choose to. He had really nice eyes. The fox holder also found it interesting to note that they were never really one particular color. Those hidden orbs were dark and when they’d been seen during the chuunin exams they had been a very dark brown.
For some reason, they seemed to be a very deep - almost black - purple whenever the two were alone enough for Shino to feel comfortable in removing the glasses. He knew he’d never seen them that color on the occasions they were in the Hokage’s office together and he had to wonder if it was just his own presence that brought out that shade in the Aburame’s eyes. Not that he was complaining any; in fact, Naruto thought they were really pretty and he made the decision to start talking so Shino would look at him and he could see those special eyes again.
No one else he knew had eyes that color.
The sharp eyes of the blonde shinobi easily caught how the Aburame cuddled up close to the small waterfall in the springs, letting the tumultuous water shroud his body in tumbling waves and he mused that he’d never actually seen anything of Shino below his neck, not even his arms. Wondering why that was, he called out to his friend, “Oi Shino!’
The bug-nin didn’t moved or shift at all, only making a soft sound of acknowledgement from his place in the crashing water. Naruto moved towards his friend and stopped when there were only four or so feet between them. “Shino…why do you always hide under that big coat? I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but I’ve always wondered.”
Shifting his weight slightly to sit up more, Shino opened his eyes and looked at the fox-boy who was much closer than he had originally been. He studied his features for a moment, watching water roll of his tan skin and curiosity gleam in blue eyes, before he took a breath and let it go. No one had ever really asked that before and if it was anyone other than Naruto, he probably wouldn’t say a thing. Alas, he had a few questions of his own for the blonde so he figured the least he could do was answer the ones posed to him.
“When the members of the Aburame clan are young, we are exposed to the kikaichu so they can make their homes within our bodies. The younger the ninja, the more time the bugs have to get used to us. The process is painful and leaves numerous scars all over our skin. People think us…creepy…enough as it is, so we keep our bodies covered as much as possible so very few outside the clan ever see our scars. Besides that, due to the kikaichu, we are extremely sensitive to anything that touches us and that can make pain a lot worse.”
Naruto’s eyes were wide when the bug-nin finished speaking, having never really heard him talk so much at once. He was also completely interested in seeing these aforementioned scars and couldn’t help but wonder what was so bad about them that they needed to be covered all the time. The blonde had multitudes of scars all over his body - being that he refused to let Kyuubi heal the scars even if the fox healed the wounds - and he wasn’t bothered by them at all really. To him, the marks on his body were testament to what he’d lived through, the swirl pattern on his chest being the most prominent.
Edging a little closer to Shino, the fox noticed his eyes change slightly from their dark purple to a lighter shade and grinned. Finally sitting with only a foot between the two, he addressed his friend again. “Ne Shino? Can I see?”
The Aburame looked completely startled, which was saying something for a man who was even more of a statue than Sasuke. Naruto’s grin only got wider.
“Why…why would you want to?”
Shrugging his shoulders in nonchalance, Naruto pulled a leg up so his foot rested on the ledge he sat on and placed his chin on his knee, regarding his friend with intense azure eyes. “Cause they can’t be that bad. I mean, I have scars all over everywhere and I don’t care about them.”
Shino lowered his head, breaking the gaze he held with the blonde as he spoke softly, “Yes they are actually. At least your scars are from battles and things like that.”
Letting his leg slip back down, Naruto leaned forward and gently tilted his friend’s head back up with soft fingertips under his chin, “Not all of them are from fighting or anything to do with being a shinobi. Usually the hits I take in fights aren’t that serious and heal without much of a mark at all…the visible ones…are more to due with being a Jinchuuriki.”
The bug-nin blushed as a wave of heat emanated from the fox-s hand on his chin and he was thankful for the heat of the water he sat in, hoping Naruto would disregard the color on his cheeks. Just that simple touch sent fire straight to his groin and he focused on the beautiful blue orbs he was looking into once more instead of what his body was doing. Naruto barely even realized he was tenderly stroking Shino’s chin with his fingers as he spoke, “If you don’t want to show me you don’t have to. If you want, you can see mine instead.”
Without waiting for a response from the quiet man, Naruto removed his hand and stood up in the water exposing his torso from his belly button up. Picking out the most obvious scar, he traced his fingers lightly over the swirl-like mark burned into his tan flesh. “This one came from the Valley of the End. It’s the worst scar I have and there’s one just like it on my back.”
Shino felt white-hot anger surge through him again at seeing the mark that marred the man’s body on his chest and back. The Uchiha had been responsible for that, driving such a deadly attack through his supposed ‘best-friend’ only seconds after proclaiming that very thing to the blonde. Yet when he’d come back, Naruto accepted him again, even going so far as falling in love with the ninja who had seriously tried to take his life, only to be betrayed by the raven once more.
“It still hurts to think about it all. I guess I should’ve been more wary of him after he betrayed me the first time but I couldn’t help it. He was one of the first people to give me attention, even if it was negative. We always sparred together because we were the best match for power and I couldn’t help but be drawn to him. I feel like such a fool now.” The blonde spoke softly as he settled in the water once more, a melancholy expression taking over his features.
“Naruto…can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer…it’s rather personal but I’ve been wondering…” The Aburame trailed off, not entirely certain this was the right time to talk about such a thing but it was in the air now. Naruto nodded at him slightly, cerulean eyes trained on him again as he took a breath, “If you can carry a child, why did you never end up pregnant before?”
A sad, defeated smile crossed the teen’s lips before he answered, “I asked Kyuubi the same thing…cursed him out actually…asking why he hadn’t done it when I still had Sasuke so I could’ve kept him. The fox just said he never trusted the bastard and refused to give something so special to him. He didn’t do it to hurt me…he did it because he was trying to protect me. Then he said that when someone came along he found worthy, he’d make the change.”
The blonde sighed in a disheartened way as his brilliant blue eyes glazed over in sadness and his voice was quiet when he spoke. “I don’t think that really matters anymore anyway. Sasuke had a pretty fucked up life and he tossed me away without batting an eye. It’s doubtful anyone would want to take his place in my life, let alone have kids with me.”
“I don’t know about that. The Hyuuga’s like you. Hinata always has and Neji has as well since your fight in the chuunin exams. Actually Kiba likes you too.” Shino said struggling to keep his voice steady as the words fell from his lips. He didn’t want to send Naruto anywhere else; he wanted the fox as his own but wasn’t sure how he would take it. The Aburame would much rather keep the blonde close as a friend then lose him because of his own feelings.
“Really? I didn’t know that. It still doesn’t matter though. Hinata is already promised to another of the Hyuuga clan to keep the bloodline strong and I’m sure Neji will be following her in that soon enough. And Kiba…Kiba’s mom wants him to have a wife I think. From what I know of the Inuzuka clan, I don’t think a relationship between the two of us would be accepted if it was anything other than friends.” Naruto said as he sunk down into the water until only half of his face, from nose up, was visible.
Shino sighed as he lowered more into the water but crept slightly away from the falls. “My clan isn’t that narrow-minded really it’s just that, it’s easier for us to marry others from the Aburame.”
Wide blue eyes gazed at him intensely, “Why is that?”
“Well,” the bug-nin started as he settled more into a new spot on the rocky ledge, “it all just comes from the kikaichu I suppose. No matter how good our control over the bugs is, they are still extremely dangerous. If our emotions change enough to loosen our control, they can easily get free and unless you either have chakra to burn or are an Aburame, they are deadly. If one of us was to be…intimate…with someone that doesn’t fit into either said category, they could easily be killed in a moment of passion. It’s only ever a risk if it is with someone we love or feel strongly about though so it really doesn’t happen often.
Most times, there are arranged marriages, made simply to keep the clan alive. Whether with one of our own or another, it doesn’t matter because there usually aren’t emotions involved that would make our focus waver. My father and mother’s marriage was arranged and my father always tells me that he wants me to love who I love. He grew to love my mother and they are very happy together but he wants me to have a chance to find love on my own. It’s difficult because of who I am.”
The blonde sighed wistfully, his eyes watching Shino though they held an almost distant look to them. “I’d never really known what love was like. I didn’t get any real affection at all until I was twelve and got to know Iruka-sensei. Sandaime tried to do the best he could but he was Hokage and I fell through the cracks a lot. I think that’s why I latched onto Sasuke so tightly when we got together. I loved him and was willing to accept his compliance to be with me as love returned, even though it really wasn’t. As much as I love Konoha and the friend’s I’ve made, I don’t think I’ll ever find the kind of love I always wanted from Sasuke there.”
A head of dark hair snapped up to look at the blonde sharply, a multitude of emotions flashing across his violet eyes. He couldn’t have heard that right…had he? Was Naruto…considering leaving? He had to be sure before he said anything.
“Naruto? What…what do you mean?”
Leaning his head back against the wall of the onsen, the fox holder looked up into the afternoon sky, his eyes following some lazily moving clouds. “What do I have there Shino? My friends are already getting paired up and being made ready to marry, I have no family, I always wanted to be Hokage but I don’t know if the village or the elders would allow it. I couldn’t keep Sasuke with me no matter how much I loved him…what’s the point? I was always alone before but after getting so close to so many people…I don’t know how well I’d be able to handle it if they all just went on with their lives and I was left by myself again. Not that I don’t want them all to find happiness…but I’ve tasted happiness myself now, even if only for a little while, and I am pretty sure not having any at all would kill me.”
Shino couldn’t tear his eyes away from the blonde even if he tried. Almost desperately he wanted Naruto to look at him; he wanted to see those beautiful blue eyes so he could know for sure if he was serious. The fox was good at hiding away from people, slipping a happy smile on his lips and acting like a fool, but Shino had been one of few - he counted himself lucky - that had seen the real man behind the mask…the boy that cried out for love and attention. However, his fellow shinobi was steadfastly keeping his gaze averted, studying the sky like Shikamaru. “You want to leave Konoha?”
A weary sigh escaped soft pink lips as Naruto closed his eyes. “I don’t know that I really want to Shino but I am tired of feeling so lost and alone. Even when I was with Sasuke I still felt that way a lot of the time. I want to be selfish for once and find my own happiness…I want to be loved so badly that it hurts and sometimes makes me sick. And the sad thing is I don’t know how well I would handle it if someone actually did love me. I’ve gone without it for so long…
…but I want it so much.”
Before he had even really realized his own movement, Shino found himself standing in front of the blonde, looking down on scarred, tan skin and getting lost in sad, azure eyes. His entire torso was bared to the flaxen-haired ninja and he didn’t even care about how badly his body was scarred. Seeing Naruto so miserable and melancholy twisted his heart because the man wasn’t meant for that kind of pain.
“Would you change your mind if someone already loved you?”
“Who would love me Shino? I’m a monster.” Despondent blue eyes gazed into his, the fractures on his heart left by Sasuke as clear to his eyes as the tears that welled in those turbulent oceans and he knew that no matter what was to happen in the following days or when their mission was over, he had to speak up. He no longer cared about his previous determination to keep his feelings to himself because if there was even a small chance that what he felt could help heal the one he loved then he would do whatever it took. Shino’s only hope was that he could survive his own broken heart if Naruto rejected him.
Leaning towards the blonde, the bug-nin nuzzled his pale cheek against Naruto’s whiskered face before moving to his ear. Pressing his lips closely, the soft flesh grazing against the fox’s sensitive skin and causing him to shudder, he answered truthfully, knowing his own confession could either make or break them both. “I would and do.”
The warm body before the bug-nin froze completely and he pulled away to see cerulean eyes wide with shock and disbelief. Not a word or a whimper slipped through Naruto’s lips and Shino suddenly felt a wave of uncertainty fill him. Had he done the wrong thing? No! He couldn’t think that way! It had to be said, even if it pushed Naruto away, Shino couldn’t let him leave the Leaf - leave him - because he thought no one loved him.
“S-Shino? What…what are you saying?” Finally Naruto found his voice, though it was soft and hesitant, crystalline tears glimmering in his azure orbs.
Breathing deeply to settle his nerves - or at least attempt to - the dark-haired ninja leaned forward once more and placed a tiny kiss on a whiskered cheek. “I’m saying I love you Naruto. I have for a long time now.”
Naruto shuddered violently with a stifled sob and tears trailed down his cheeks in torrents. Had he heard that right? Did…did someone really love him? Like that? Like he’d loved Sasuke? “Why Shino? How…how could you love me…knowing all that you do about me?”
Quietly and swiftly, the Aburame wrapped the blonde in a hug, his mind too occupied with saying his peace now that he’d made the opportunity to pay attention to the fact that he was naked and wet and pressed tightly against the object of his desire that happened to be just as naked and wet as he was. “I think…I think it’s because I do know so much about you Naruto. You have gone through so much, so many pains and hardships that would break most people and yet you stay strong, you don’t let it get to you. I know that Sasuke held your heart for a long time - and probably still does - but I couldn’t risk you leaving the village thinking no one cared.”
Burrowing his face into the bug-nin’s neck, Naruto whimpered slightly as all the pain from the past welled up inside him. So many years and so much time had been spent pushing things away and repressing all the hurt he’d felt all his life and all it took were some well-placed words from Shino to send him tumbling into a sea of emotion and tears. Sasuke never would have said something like that to him, even if he had walked straight up to the raven and told him point blank he was leaving the village and not planning to return.
Clutching desperately at the soft skin of the dark-haired shinobi’s back, the blonde nuzzled his nose against Shino’s collarbone and whispered “What about your family?”
Shino tightened his grip around the fox, his throat threatening to constrict with the emotions he was holding back, and answered with a question of his own, “What do you mean?”
“Won’t they be upset with you…for wanting me?”
Deep purple eyes widened slightly at how pitiful the normally strong jounin sounded and he pressed a kiss to Naruto’s head, “I told you my father wanted me to find my own love.”
“I don’t think he was anticipating having to include me as a possibility Shino.” The blonde whispered dejectedly, savoring the warmth from the dark-haired ninja and the rarely felt contact of skin against skin.
The Aburame loosened his hold on the fox, biting back a smile at the whine of protest his actions were rewarded with, and looked into still watery cerulean eyes. “Naruto, my family knows all about you. The entire clan knows everything about what happened that day when Kyuubi no Kitsune attacked Konoha. We all know that you truly are a hero and we have never hated you or placed the blame on your shoulders. It is well known amongst the Aburame that not even the fox himself was responsible for his actions.”
Blue eyes widened almost comically and Shino knew if the situation hadn’t been so serious he would have laughed. Naruto’s lower lip trembled dangerously and the bug-nin simply wrapped the younger boy in a hug once more, easily content to have the love of his life in his arms. The blonde’s voice came out muffled and soft when he spoke next, the warm wisps of his breath dancing across the Aburame’s pale skin. “Shino? If you knew…about me…the truth, I mean, why didn’t you talk to me when we were in the academy?”
Flinching internally at the wounded tone of his love’s voice, the bug-nin sighed lightly and rested his forehead against Naruto’s shoulder, “I wanted to but I was shy. I’ve never talked much, even when I was a kid. I had hoped we’d be assigned to the same genin team so I had more of a reason to approach you but it didn’t work out that way. I thought for sure that if I just came up to you and started trying to be your friend you’d think it was some kind of mean joke.”
Before he’d recognized the movement, Shino found himself pushed slightly away from Naruto and staring down into impossibly blue, heartbreakingly melancholy eyes and a sad smile. “You’re right you know. I would’ve thought it was a mean joke. Actually, those kinds of jokes got played on me a lot.”
A resigned sigh escaped petal soft lips while Naruto kept his gaze locked with vivid purple eyes, “Are you serious about this Shino? I really am a basket case.”
The corners of the dark-haired shinobi’s lips twitched up into a smile and something akin to relief and happiness swirled in amethyst eyes, “Yes I’m sure. I just want a chance to show you that you deserve to be loved just like everyone else.”
His smile turned a little more genuine then, his cerulean eyes losing some of the taint of sorrow and he whispered, “Okay then.”
~*~