Way stressed out entry, but hey, I wrote my paper finally!
Tonight I just cranked out 16 pages of fun fun thesis bliss. My fingers are all numb and tingly from feverish typing. Ah, its that time of the semester.
I am so nervous that I did it all wrong though. A warning to all you Emersonians: DO NOT TAKE A DIRECTED STUDY UNLESS YOU HAVE A REALLY GOOD ADVISOR. Because mine was not. She did not provide me direction! I wanted to do a research study on art criticism, but because my academic advisor is also the Performing Arts chair, she was the one to approve it and decided to take me on herself. Bad idea. Because she had no time for me, so everything kept getting delayed and delayed... and I eventually stopped caring. But I still had to write my big ass thesis. I just hope it all came out ok. Hopefully it's coherent. When its 4 in the morning you truly lose sense of that, so I hope I get lucky and the eloquent, I know what I'm talking about thing just kinda happens on its own accord.
Well, there are still a few things I have to add, but at least most of it is done. A decent rough draft, considering I did next to nothing all semester until now. Seriously yo, I haven't slacked off like this ever. Sigh. Lesson learned: Directed Studies seem like a great idea because you don't have actual class, but the consequences on a self-doubting pysche are so much higher.
Yeah, and I still need to find an apartment. I saw one today that was kinda nice.... and 1100 a month! Bah, Boston real estate market screwing the little guy. And there was this other apartment that was less, but ironically, the landlord wanted me to make like 40 grand a year to qualify for the lease. WTF? I want cheap housing because I DON'T make that much, otherwise, don't you think I'd look for something nicer? It makes no sense to me. So anyway. I have to move in slightly over a month, and I think I may just die before that of a stress induced heart attack.
(Pardon the melodrama. I am sleep deprived.)
I try to remember that I don't have it so bad, but sometimes its hard to think that when things just seem so... drastically dire. I know I am a neurotic person, but good lord, somebody cut me some slack! I'm trying graduate college, live in this city without selling my organs on the black market, and maybe, somewhere in between find some time to work on figuring out who I really am and not just what I do.
But in the end, I don't have it so bad. At least I have my bed! It's so cozy right now... and 4:35 seems like a lovely bedtime.
I am so nervous that I did it all wrong though. A warning to all you Emersonians: DO NOT TAKE A DIRECTED STUDY UNLESS YOU HAVE A REALLY GOOD ADVISOR. Because mine was not. She did not provide me direction! I wanted to do a research study on art criticism, but because my academic advisor is also the Performing Arts chair, she was the one to approve it and decided to take me on herself. Bad idea. Because she had no time for me, so everything kept getting delayed and delayed... and I eventually stopped caring. But I still had to write my big ass thesis. I just hope it all came out ok. Hopefully it's coherent. When its 4 in the morning you truly lose sense of that, so I hope I get lucky and the eloquent, I know what I'm talking about thing just kinda happens on its own accord.
Well, there are still a few things I have to add, but at least most of it is done. A decent rough draft, considering I did next to nothing all semester until now. Seriously yo, I haven't slacked off like this ever. Sigh. Lesson learned: Directed Studies seem like a great idea because you don't have actual class, but the consequences on a self-doubting pysche are so much higher.
Yeah, and I still need to find an apartment. I saw one today that was kinda nice.... and 1100 a month! Bah, Boston real estate market screwing the little guy. And there was this other apartment that was less, but ironically, the landlord wanted me to make like 40 grand a year to qualify for the lease. WTF? I want cheap housing because I DON'T make that much, otherwise, don't you think I'd look for something nicer? It makes no sense to me. So anyway. I have to move in slightly over a month, and I think I may just die before that of a stress induced heart attack.
(Pardon the melodrama. I am sleep deprived.)
I try to remember that I don't have it so bad, but sometimes its hard to think that when things just seem so... drastically dire. I know I am a neurotic person, but good lord, somebody cut me some slack! I'm trying graduate college, live in this city without selling my organs on the black market, and maybe, somewhere in between find some time to work on figuring out who I really am and not just what I do.
But in the end, I don't have it so bad. At least I have my bed! It's so cozy right now... and 4:35 seems like a lovely bedtime.