fuck you running the 100 meter dash....
meh today was today...i figure tomorrow the first time my alarm goes off ill get up, it seems the more times i keep setting it back the more tired and sick feeling i get. im restless too, i was up around 2 last night just...tossing and turning. im forcing myself not to IM the people i shouldnt hah, i mean its not like they care but it would be awesome if they did, i just dont care, im more occupied with certain other individuals that atleast talk to me and seem to like me, ha the people that make me laugh, the people who say i help them, someone i wish liked me a little more but you know, i guess im going to watch what happens, there isnt a whole lot i can do i think, if there is tell me. sometimes i feel i fail at allot of things, maybe i dont try my hardest, but when i do it seems its all in vain. gah maybe i push for something to hard and quick. the affection i want/need/like or whatever hasn't come to me from anyone i have meet in the past, this is far from the friend side of things like, i think i met allot of nice new people and have some awesome friend some are old some brand new its all cool to me. but like i've said before i feel like im missing something its odd. if i think about it at night i get like...sad or well i can't sleep. i also want to get my life started, if you think abou tit...4 more months...im like holyshit. i've decided that i am going to take a year off and not start college until the next year and work full time, possibly move out, maybe depends on who i can find to live with me and the money situation. probably somewhere downtown or near there, yea.
but as of right now, ill deal with my dad and the inane bickering we seem to carry on, most recently...my belt on the leather seats of his corvette. since you know i have a tendency to wear my pyramid studd belt all the time my dad to what it seems he likes to find allot of things to be mad at me about, has brought that up or he has bought to much of a car. i dunno...i just want a boyfriend and a couple of pairs of nice pants lol...and oh that cherry icee hah...i still have yet to get it....i miss tiffany too....
driving tomorrow again...woo.