Um, yes.
So, to interrupt another extremely long bout of silence, I was cleaning out my harddrive when I found this thing lying around. It's a snippet I wrote about million years ago (or, soon after The Lost Boys aired, whichever you want) and completely forgot about. I was debating over leaving it where it was or just posting it as-is, and I decided I might as well put it up here since I'm most likely never going to finish it anyway.
Basically, it's another version of what might have happened when Rodney was high on enzyme and having uncontrollable, ahem, urges, around John.
Suddenly, he was pinned against the wall with one of his wrists held by his head in Rodney’s surprisingly strong grip. Shock stilled him for a moment too long, and before he realized what was happening Rodney’s head seemed to be resting on his shoulder and then there was - oh god - Rodney was licking his neck.
John’s entire body froze as his mind screamed and stalled for a moment at what the fuck? He was shaken out of his daze when he felt Rodney’s other hand, the one not currently holding him immobile against a cave wall, go under his t-shirt and start to rub against his stomach.
Okay, this had gone far enough. He kept his voice low and calm.
“What the hell are you doing, McKay.” It wasn’t a question. John tried to move away but there wasn’t much room for leverage with an arm pinned against the wall on one side and Rodney’s head against his neck on the other. John’s current position threw sharply into relief the fact that Rodney had sheer body mass to his advantage, even if he wasn’t combat trained.
John felt a frisson of worry go down his spine for the first time. He put his free arm against Rodney’s chest and pushed, hard.
This seemed to surprise Rodney enough to cause him to stumble back a few steps, loosening his grip on John’s wrist. John wrenched himself free and moved so that he wasn’t between McKay and the wall anymore.
“Okay, Rodney,” John said slowly, noticing that in his haste to get away he’d misjudged and ended up on the wrong side of McKay, and now the scientist was between him and the exit. “The enzyme is affecting you in - in a certain way. It must be some kind of side effect. I noticed Teyla and Ronon were acting strangely earlier…”
John kept talking in a low voice, trying to keep Rodney distracted as he slowly circled around the scientist, giving him a wide berth, as he tried to make his way to the door.
The enzyme might be messing with his body chemistry, but it apparently wasn’t making the scientist any dumber, so Rodney caught on pretty quickly to what John was trying to do and took a few steps back. His bulk now blocked the doorway completely and John’s only path of escape was cut off.
Rodney’s uncharacteristic silence, more than anything else, was creeping John out in a huge way. Normally you couldn’t force the guy to shut up, and now he was just standing there, arms at his sides, his whole body taut with tension. The little oil lamp by the cot wasn’t enough to light the whole room, so John couldn’t quite make out Rodney’s features, but he could see the scientist’s wide shoulders heave with each breath he took.
“McKay.” John put a little more force in his voice this time, hoping it might jar Rodney into accepting his authority for once. “The enzyme is messing with your head. You need to rest. Here, you can even take my cot and I’ll go into your room-” John gestured vaguely at the makeshift bed behind him, little more than some blankets and thin padding thrown on the floor, “-we both need to be sharp tomorrow.”
There was a tense silence. John held his breath.
Then, McKay’s whole body seemed to sag, and he stumbled backwards a little to lean one arm against the door. He brought his other hand to his face and rubbed his eyes.
“I’m sorry. I don’t---I can’t.” He looked up at John, his eyes pleading. “They pump me full of this drug and it, it doesn’t give me anything--” He drew a shuddering breath and barreled on hurridly, “I, I don’t have any strength or superpowers or the stickfighting thing for it to enhance like in Teyla and Ronan, so it’s like there’s all this energy and, and---potential. Inside of me. And it, it doesn’t have anywhere to go but here--” His voice finally broke on the last word and something inside of John lurched sideways a little.
“Rodney,”
He floundered, trying to think of something to say after that. Almost twenty years of career military training under his belt and John had no idea what to do in this situation.
“Rodney, it’ll be okay. Just relax, everything will be---”
“Shut up, Colonel. You just shut up before what’s left of my brain curls up and dies from the stupidity -not to mention sheer inanity- of your fake little reassurances. Fine? Tell me what’s fine about this: Atlantis’s flag team -three fourths of which is currently drugged to the eyeballs with fucking bodily fluids from a Wraith- is being held prisoner by a deranged weapons expert and his gang of hyped-up muscle boys on a deserted and for all we know completely uncharted planet with absolutely no means of contacting our people, we’re being forced under threat of death to go on an impossible and completely fucking insane Wraith-killing mission, and I haven’t been able to sleep for days because every time I close my eyes I picture my CO’s sweaty naked body so don’t you dare look at me and say everything’s going to be fine because I know and you know, Colonel, that there is absolutely nothing about this situation that is anywhere close to fine.”
... And you can imagine where I was thinking of taking it from there.
Bascially, the angle is: Rodney knows it’s totally and completely wrong the whole time he fucks John. He keeps this thought foremost in his head because he knows if he lets that go he’ll be letting go of too much of himself. John tries not to resist and wants to pretend like it’s consensual, but Rodney doesn’t let him.
End with John lying awake after Rodney falls asleep, feeling horrible and violated but still thinking that no matter how bad it is for him, it’s going to be a million times worse for Rodney because he’ll never forgive himself for it.
So yes. Unfortunately you'll have to fill in all the blanks yourself.
Basically, it's another version of what might have happened when Rodney was high on enzyme and having uncontrollable, ahem, urges, around John.
Suddenly, he was pinned against the wall with one of his wrists held by his head in Rodney’s surprisingly strong grip. Shock stilled him for a moment too long, and before he realized what was happening Rodney’s head seemed to be resting on his shoulder and then there was - oh god - Rodney was licking his neck.
John’s entire body froze as his mind screamed and stalled for a moment at what the fuck? He was shaken out of his daze when he felt Rodney’s other hand, the one not currently holding him immobile against a cave wall, go under his t-shirt and start to rub against his stomach.
Okay, this had gone far enough. He kept his voice low and calm.
“What the hell are you doing, McKay.” It wasn’t a question. John tried to move away but there wasn’t much room for leverage with an arm pinned against the wall on one side and Rodney’s head against his neck on the other. John’s current position threw sharply into relief the fact that Rodney had sheer body mass to his advantage, even if he wasn’t combat trained.
John felt a frisson of worry go down his spine for the first time. He put his free arm against Rodney’s chest and pushed, hard.
This seemed to surprise Rodney enough to cause him to stumble back a few steps, loosening his grip on John’s wrist. John wrenched himself free and moved so that he wasn’t between McKay and the wall anymore.
“Okay, Rodney,” John said slowly, noticing that in his haste to get away he’d misjudged and ended up on the wrong side of McKay, and now the scientist was between him and the exit. “The enzyme is affecting you in - in a certain way. It must be some kind of side effect. I noticed Teyla and Ronon were acting strangely earlier…”
John kept talking in a low voice, trying to keep Rodney distracted as he slowly circled around the scientist, giving him a wide berth, as he tried to make his way to the door.
The enzyme might be messing with his body chemistry, but it apparently wasn’t making the scientist any dumber, so Rodney caught on pretty quickly to what John was trying to do and took a few steps back. His bulk now blocked the doorway completely and John’s only path of escape was cut off.
Rodney’s uncharacteristic silence, more than anything else, was creeping John out in a huge way. Normally you couldn’t force the guy to shut up, and now he was just standing there, arms at his sides, his whole body taut with tension. The little oil lamp by the cot wasn’t enough to light the whole room, so John couldn’t quite make out Rodney’s features, but he could see the scientist’s wide shoulders heave with each breath he took.
“McKay.” John put a little more force in his voice this time, hoping it might jar Rodney into accepting his authority for once. “The enzyme is messing with your head. You need to rest. Here, you can even take my cot and I’ll go into your room-” John gestured vaguely at the makeshift bed behind him, little more than some blankets and thin padding thrown on the floor, “-we both need to be sharp tomorrow.”
There was a tense silence. John held his breath.
Then, McKay’s whole body seemed to sag, and he stumbled backwards a little to lean one arm against the door. He brought his other hand to his face and rubbed his eyes.
“I’m sorry. I don’t---I can’t.” He looked up at John, his eyes pleading. “They pump me full of this drug and it, it doesn’t give me anything--” He drew a shuddering breath and barreled on hurridly, “I, I don’t have any strength or superpowers or the stickfighting thing for it to enhance like in Teyla and Ronan, so it’s like there’s all this energy and, and---potential. Inside of me. And it, it doesn’t have anywhere to go but here--” His voice finally broke on the last word and something inside of John lurched sideways a little.
“Rodney,”
He floundered, trying to think of something to say after that. Almost twenty years of career military training under his belt and John had no idea what to do in this situation.
“Rodney, it’ll be okay. Just relax, everything will be---”
“Shut up, Colonel. You just shut up before what’s left of my brain curls up and dies from the stupidity -not to mention sheer inanity- of your fake little reassurances. Fine? Tell me what’s fine about this: Atlantis’s flag team -three fourths of which is currently drugged to the eyeballs with fucking bodily fluids from a Wraith- is being held prisoner by a deranged weapons expert and his gang of hyped-up muscle boys on a deserted and for all we know completely uncharted planet with absolutely no means of contacting our people, we’re being forced under threat of death to go on an impossible and completely fucking insane Wraith-killing mission, and I haven’t been able to sleep for days because every time I close my eyes I picture my CO’s sweaty naked body so don’t you dare look at me and say everything’s going to be fine because I know and you know, Colonel, that there is absolutely nothing about this situation that is anywhere close to fine.”
... And you can imagine where I was thinking of taking it from there.
Bascially, the angle is: Rodney knows it’s totally and completely wrong the whole time he fucks John. He keeps this thought foremost in his head because he knows if he lets that go he’ll be letting go of too much of himself. John tries not to resist and wants to pretend like it’s consensual, but Rodney doesn’t let him.
End with John lying awake after Rodney falls asleep, feeling horrible and violated but still thinking that no matter how bad it is for him, it’s going to be a million times worse for Rodney because he’ll never forgive himself for it.
So yes. Unfortunately you'll have to fill in all the blanks yourself.