whiney

[kaerte]

Well, job I really wanted after endless saga didn't work out-mostly because they suck. Yesterday I decided to take the insurance job I've been stalling on since before xmas mostly because I'm desperate, but I can't shake the feeling I'm settling, and I really hate it. Also yesterday, because yesterday was an extremely long day while I was trying to determine exactly how fucked I was. I hate waiting. I hate waiting to find out how fucked you are so you can get on with making decisions about how to fix your fucked up situation. So in my waiting, I emailed a friend of a friend who had mentioned an opportunity at her work, which was in a similar vein as the PWC excitement but totally different and interesting, and probably would have been really fun and challenging and blah, blah, blah. But, I'd just gone through a whole palaver with my recruiter lady and the insurance job and I told them I'd accepted the job. So today when the other lady emailed me to say we should have a catch up over coffee if there was sun, or wine if there was moon (so much better than the insurance wankers/elevator repairment) I had to tell her I had already accepted another job. It is extra sucky if I think that there are two streams of work experience I have, insurance and then this wee tiny tendril of policy and I'm quite intrigued by the policy, but the insurance, while not as stimulating, is safe.
Sorry, whining, really, I should just be thankful I have a roof over my head, people who love me and food to eat. Maybe, I'll have an epiphany and figure it all out. It has happened before. Gotta meditate on that one a bit more.