(no subject)
Dear Diary,
People suck.
This is probably the worst summer that i've ever had. All i do is work, sweat, smell and feel crappy.
Probably the only thing that has cheered me up is this:
Work isn't too bad. The people are fine and everything, it just sucks that my feet hurt at the end of the day and that my sleeping patterns are fucked up. After work I've been going to Lindsey's for some boring kickbacks. It's just nice to spend time with her. So I've been getting home around 1 and staying up until 3 and then waking up at five and staying half asleep the rest of the morning only to wake up and go back to work. It's a cycle.
Auntie Vicky moved out, so now i have a bigger room and my own bathroom. She smoked so the walls are pretty nasty. I have a day off tomorrow so Lindsey and i are going to wash the walls tomorrow. I picked out colors that coordinate with each other, but i'm still in that picky process of elimination. So far I have gray, blue, orange and white. I'm still not sure if i'll use two or three colors. Maybe i'll just have a heavy accent with curtains and bed stuff instead. Who knows?
I'm really excited about this room.
After Lindsey and I clean, we're going to watch But I'm a Cheerleader again. She ordered Seasons one and two of The L Word; we're excited about having a marathon.
After that, i'm hoping that this girl i've been asking out will finally actually go out with me. She's still not sure if she can and it's always disappointing when she can't, but i guess that's all part of the process.
I bought a fish tank to put in my room. It's a nice sized one. I need a few more things like a filter and some other stuff. I wish i could borrow them, but i'll probably be buying them with my next paycheck. I've spent most of this paycheck already, which was nice. I spent the whole day shopping with Morgan, we had A LOT of fun that day. Met a crazy girl that's been calling me. And i don't mean crazy in a joking around way, i mean seriously crazy. She took my phone from me, dialed her number and saved my number on her phone. But, the crazy girls need love too, so i humor her and talk to her when she calls.
I've been shopping online at Target.com for some cute (& cheap) stuff to put in my room. I found some real great stuff. I don't feel like uploading images for them now, but maybe another time? Just trust me, they're cute.
I'm throwing everything away in my old bedroom, except for my bed and my clothes. I'm starting all over. How refreshing.
Recently, i've really been aching for Denmark. My friends and my family. I think that's another reason why this summer sucks. It's all new to me.
I miss gallivanting through the city at 2 in the morning, coming home at 4 with the sun coming up from some cheap karaoke bar. Fuck California summer. I miss Copenhagen.
Another sucky thing: my car was broken into last night and some of my shit was stolen. I hate to accuse but a lot of evidence points to those kids that hang out down the street. Maybe i'm just venting though and i feel like i need someone to blame. Either way, it sucks.
I was even looking for a new (used) car online this weekend. I'm dying to own a Scion xB. I'm making it a resolution of mine that that is my next car. The cheapest used one's that i've found are around6 to 7 thousand. Not too bad. Depending on details of course. So, let's see how that works out.
Hmm...let's see..what else sucks.. People suck. I forgot about people. One person particularly sucks because she says she doesn't want me in her life any more and then she calls me back tonight and offers me some money from her paycheck because she's stressed that i'm stressed. I don't understand her.
Some one else who doesn't necessarily suck is this one girl that i've been talking to, who actually goes to my school. I know i haven't been imagining it, but she flirts with me online, but when i see her in person, she gives me awkward hugs and she seems very reflective in the sense that i can't see through her. All i see is my pathetic attempts to get to know her better.
It also sucked that Lydia couldn't come down this summer. That got built up and didn't happen. I'm not mad at her though, just at the cost of airfare.
More people suck but this is getting very long.
I have some good news, it's not all bad.
I visited Michael in June. I had a great time and in fact, i really miss the feeling of being there. At first, it was probably one of the scariest things that i've felt. As soon as i was going to bed at about 4 in the morning in Portland after his sister picked my up at the airport, his mother called and told us to rush to the hospital in Redmond, i think. It's about a 3 hour drive but Sara handled it in about 2. So we got there about 7:30 in the morning. Michael had been throwing up and seizing that night. So things were looking extremely bad.
One thing's for sure, i was not prepared for what i saw when i walked up to that hospital bed. Micheal's entire body is swollen, i hardly even recognized him. Our entire lives he's been really skinny, but when i saw him, he looked like a big chubby chipmunk. His mom calls him a gold fish.
It was hard seeing him hooked up to all that stuff as if he was actually dying. Which they though he was going to die that day, so they released him so he could die at home i guess. But it was so hard at first seeing him like that. He was shaking and he wasn't responding to well, from what i know. I tried talking to him about anything i could that was hard because i felt like i was boring him and he was trying to rest. So i sat there and spoke to him and rubbed his incredibly soft fuzzy head.
So after he spent that whole day resting, everything went great the last few days. He seemed to recover very well and all of a sudden he was back to his normal self. He may look different, but he still has those small ears, those light blue eyes,his gap and that bittersweet smile.
Plus, it's always great to go visit because i get to see everyone like, Maggie, and his family. Also, i always have a three hour ride with Sara to bond and stuff. It's always strange going there for me at first because i feel like i'm useless and i'm not quite sure that i'm important enough to be around, but i always get reassured some how that i'm only imagining that these past 8 years have created a void, and in fact, i'm still that little girl who looked like a boy and made him cry. After all, Michael's the only boy i've bathed with that wasn't my brother. Now that's a bond.
Other really, extremely cool news. I made friends with one of the instructors from my film class and i was talking about the script i was writing with her and we started talking about how i was interested in interning. She mentioned that she would let me come to set with her one day. (She works behind the scenes on the show South of Nowhere. Awesoooome.) So i got really excited.
And not too recently, she commented me on myspace about it and said that some time soon, i could go to set with her. I think they're filming season 3 right now.
She also mentioned that i could help her on this short film she's doing this summer. I'm pretty excited about that too. I'm going to call her tomorrow. She takes a while to respond to myspace stuff and i really want this to happen.
I've been looking into the LA Film school in Hollywood, they're sending a packet in the mail right now.
So, since this is an extremely long post, i won't go on any more. And i'm sorry if i poisoned your friends page, but i haven't used this in a while so i don't remember how to do that code to put it behind a link. You can delete me as a friend if you want. I'm kind of pointless.
People suck.
This is probably the worst summer that i've ever had. All i do is work, sweat, smell and feel crappy.
Probably the only thing that has cheered me up is this:
Work isn't too bad. The people are fine and everything, it just sucks that my feet hurt at the end of the day and that my sleeping patterns are fucked up. After work I've been going to Lindsey's for some boring kickbacks. It's just nice to spend time with her. So I've been getting home around 1 and staying up until 3 and then waking up at five and staying half asleep the rest of the morning only to wake up and go back to work. It's a cycle.
Auntie Vicky moved out, so now i have a bigger room and my own bathroom. She smoked so the walls are pretty nasty. I have a day off tomorrow so Lindsey and i are going to wash the walls tomorrow. I picked out colors that coordinate with each other, but i'm still in that picky process of elimination. So far I have gray, blue, orange and white. I'm still not sure if i'll use two or three colors. Maybe i'll just have a heavy accent with curtains and bed stuff instead. Who knows?
I'm really excited about this room.
After Lindsey and I clean, we're going to watch But I'm a Cheerleader again. She ordered Seasons one and two of The L Word; we're excited about having a marathon.
After that, i'm hoping that this girl i've been asking out will finally actually go out with me. She's still not sure if she can and it's always disappointing when she can't, but i guess that's all part of the process.
I bought a fish tank to put in my room. It's a nice sized one. I need a few more things like a filter and some other stuff. I wish i could borrow them, but i'll probably be buying them with my next paycheck. I've spent most of this paycheck already, which was nice. I spent the whole day shopping with Morgan, we had A LOT of fun that day. Met a crazy girl that's been calling me. And i don't mean crazy in a joking around way, i mean seriously crazy. She took my phone from me, dialed her number and saved my number on her phone. But, the crazy girls need love too, so i humor her and talk to her when she calls.
I've been shopping online at Target.com for some cute (& cheap) stuff to put in my room. I found some real great stuff. I don't feel like uploading images for them now, but maybe another time? Just trust me, they're cute.
I'm throwing everything away in my old bedroom, except for my bed and my clothes. I'm starting all over. How refreshing.
Recently, i've really been aching for Denmark. My friends and my family. I think that's another reason why this summer sucks. It's all new to me.
I miss gallivanting through the city at 2 in the morning, coming home at 4 with the sun coming up from some cheap karaoke bar. Fuck California summer. I miss Copenhagen.
Another sucky thing: my car was broken into last night and some of my shit was stolen. I hate to accuse but a lot of evidence points to those kids that hang out down the street. Maybe i'm just venting though and i feel like i need someone to blame. Either way, it sucks.
I was even looking for a new (used) car online this weekend. I'm dying to own a Scion xB. I'm making it a resolution of mine that that is my next car. The cheapest used one's that i've found are around6 to 7 thousand. Not too bad. Depending on details of course. So, let's see how that works out.
Hmm...let's see..what else sucks.. People suck. I forgot about people. One person particularly sucks because she says she doesn't want me in her life any more and then she calls me back tonight and offers me some money from her paycheck because she's stressed that i'm stressed. I don't understand her.
Some one else who doesn't necessarily suck is this one girl that i've been talking to, who actually goes to my school. I know i haven't been imagining it, but she flirts with me online, but when i see her in person, she gives me awkward hugs and she seems very reflective in the sense that i can't see through her. All i see is my pathetic attempts to get to know her better.
It also sucked that Lydia couldn't come down this summer. That got built up and didn't happen. I'm not mad at her though, just at the cost of airfare.
More people suck but this is getting very long.
I have some good news, it's not all bad.
I visited Michael in June. I had a great time and in fact, i really miss the feeling of being there. At first, it was probably one of the scariest things that i've felt. As soon as i was going to bed at about 4 in the morning in Portland after his sister picked my up at the airport, his mother called and told us to rush to the hospital in Redmond, i think. It's about a 3 hour drive but Sara handled it in about 2. So we got there about 7:30 in the morning. Michael had been throwing up and seizing that night. So things were looking extremely bad.
One thing's for sure, i was not prepared for what i saw when i walked up to that hospital bed. Micheal's entire body is swollen, i hardly even recognized him. Our entire lives he's been really skinny, but when i saw him, he looked like a big chubby chipmunk. His mom calls him a gold fish.
It was hard seeing him hooked up to all that stuff as if he was actually dying. Which they though he was going to die that day, so they released him so he could die at home i guess. But it was so hard at first seeing him like that. He was shaking and he wasn't responding to well, from what i know. I tried talking to him about anything i could that was hard because i felt like i was boring him and he was trying to rest. So i sat there and spoke to him and rubbed his incredibly soft fuzzy head.
So after he spent that whole day resting, everything went great the last few days. He seemed to recover very well and all of a sudden he was back to his normal self. He may look different, but he still has those small ears, those light blue eyes,his gap and that bittersweet smile.
Plus, it's always great to go visit because i get to see everyone like, Maggie, and his family. Also, i always have a three hour ride with Sara to bond and stuff. It's always strange going there for me at first because i feel like i'm useless and i'm not quite sure that i'm important enough to be around, but i always get reassured some how that i'm only imagining that these past 8 years have created a void, and in fact, i'm still that little girl who looked like a boy and made him cry. After all, Michael's the only boy i've bathed with that wasn't my brother. Now that's a bond.
Other really, extremely cool news. I made friends with one of the instructors from my film class and i was talking about the script i was writing with her and we started talking about how i was interested in interning. She mentioned that she would let me come to set with her one day. (She works behind the scenes on the show South of Nowhere. Awesoooome.) So i got really excited.
And not too recently, she commented me on myspace about it and said that some time soon, i could go to set with her. I think they're filming season 3 right now.
She also mentioned that i could help her on this short film she's doing this summer. I'm pretty excited about that too. I'm going to call her tomorrow. She takes a while to respond to myspace stuff and i really want this to happen.
I've been looking into the LA Film school in Hollywood, they're sending a packet in the mail right now.
So, since this is an extremely long post, i won't go on any more. And i'm sorry if i poisoned your friends page, but i haven't used this in a while so i don't remember how to do that code to put it behind a link. You can delete me as a friend if you want. I'm kind of pointless.