New Poem
I started writing this tonight. I do not know why. Its been a long time since i've felt enough emotion to write.
The hope of life
Gone
It seems
From within
I do not know where
My heart has gone
To the sole of my foot?
To the spirit in the sky?
For a trek across the galaxy?
For an evening stroll?
It seems lost
Wherever it has gone
I know not where
The pit in my stomach
Ties itself a knot
A weight below my ribs
Like none born by the arms
Or the legs
A heaviness felt from within
Far within
The accumulation of the soul
Where there is only you
In solitude
From the world
Sought by many
Found by few
Touched by fewer
Within the center
Of the soul
Only those who you bless
Can touch you there
And leave marks
Or scars
Too many a scar left
Too open a soul
Found by some who have loved
Found by some who have wrought chaos
Some with poison
Some with acid
Some with knives and pins
Left alone within
The midst of an evening mist
Left to heal
Or die
That which does not kill us
Will strengthen us more
Reality is much harder
Than fiction could picture
Essence of emotion
Left for us to find
Hard for us to bear
Constraints of society
Tell us to be strong
Hard enough to do
With so much going on
Dual lives we lead
Personal and business
One to get away to
The other to get away from
Where one finds peace
And the other, stress
Nothing in the world so harsh as love
Deep within
Easily wounded
Quickly healed
Deeper scarring
A heart with many war wounds
Feels nearly dead
Left out in the sun
To dry
Or die
Left out in the dark
To freeze
And forget
Ever pain
Ever salvation
Ever hope
Love contains all
A beautiful ray
From above
From below
From within
A hardened warrior
Easily healed
Deeply scarred
Greatly experienced
From past lives
And the current one
A devious enemy
Striking where it is not healed
Poisoning with no remorse
Death from within
All can regenerate
With time
But not back to full
The strength diminished
In different areas
Battlefields
Filled with blood
Where wars from within were fought
Some won
Some lost
Some neither
Much of life defensive
Trust broken
Unexpected found
Heartsick
From the unknown
Here I am at one past twelve
Writing a poem
Of what I’ve felt
Not so much pain
More agony
Felt from depths of soul
Felt before it happened
Predicted in advance
Twice in a row
Engagements cannot deal
The past unfolded
Unexpected turns come round
Truths hidden
Or just not looked for
What is happening
Is no longer known to me
I ask as much as I can
But no answer is found
Til it is late
And the answer is painful
But answer is better
Than left in dark
I think?
I do not know
Questions left unanswered
Pondered long and hard
Without sleep
Questioned by forces from within
Unknown to conscious elements
Left to fend for myself
In a sea of answers
Not all I am looking for
Or want to know
Appearing before me
Realizations I haven’t wanted
Truths that are too much
Hope
Lost?
Or hidden?
Behind walls
Harder than stone
More durable
Than a great warrior
Harder to track
Than a black wolf
Under the cover
Of a moonless night
With a deep fog
Among the forests of the soul
I cannot tell
What I feel anymore
Whether its sadness
Or anger
Or regret
Or the epitome of solitude
But solitude is good
This cannot be it
Alone
Alone with myself
To wonder what went wrong
What went right
What would be
I have felt this before
More times than I’ve wanted
The past remembered
Cannot be forgotten
Like a first kiss
Under something
Not entirely true
With something hidden behind
Unknown
The hope of life
Gone
It seems
From within
I do not know where
My heart has gone
To the sole of my foot?
To the spirit in the sky?
For a trek across the galaxy?
For an evening stroll?
It seems lost
Wherever it has gone
I know not where
The pit in my stomach
Ties itself a knot
A weight below my ribs
Like none born by the arms
Or the legs
A heaviness felt from within
Far within
The accumulation of the soul
Where there is only you
In solitude
From the world
Sought by many
Found by few
Touched by fewer
Within the center
Of the soul
Only those who you bless
Can touch you there
And leave marks
Or scars
Too many a scar left
Too open a soul
Found by some who have loved
Found by some who have wrought chaos
Some with poison
Some with acid
Some with knives and pins
Left alone within
The midst of an evening mist
Left to heal
Or die
That which does not kill us
Will strengthen us more
Reality is much harder
Than fiction could picture
Essence of emotion
Left for us to find
Hard for us to bear
Constraints of society
Tell us to be strong
Hard enough to do
With so much going on
Dual lives we lead
Personal and business
One to get away to
The other to get away from
Where one finds peace
And the other, stress
Nothing in the world so harsh as love
Deep within
Easily wounded
Quickly healed
Deeper scarring
A heart with many war wounds
Feels nearly dead
Left out in the sun
To dry
Or die
Left out in the dark
To freeze
And forget
Ever pain
Ever salvation
Ever hope
Love contains all
A beautiful ray
From above
From below
From within
A hardened warrior
Easily healed
Deeply scarred
Greatly experienced
From past lives
And the current one
A devious enemy
Striking where it is not healed
Poisoning with no remorse
Death from within
All can regenerate
With time
But not back to full
The strength diminished
In different areas
Battlefields
Filled with blood
Where wars from within were fought
Some won
Some lost
Some neither
Much of life defensive
Trust broken
Unexpected found
Heartsick
From the unknown
Here I am at one past twelve
Writing a poem
Of what I’ve felt
Not so much pain
More agony
Felt from depths of soul
Felt before it happened
Predicted in advance
Twice in a row
Engagements cannot deal
The past unfolded
Unexpected turns come round
Truths hidden
Or just not looked for
What is happening
Is no longer known to me
I ask as much as I can
But no answer is found
Til it is late
And the answer is painful
But answer is better
Than left in dark
I think?
I do not know
Questions left unanswered
Pondered long and hard
Without sleep
Questioned by forces from within
Unknown to conscious elements
Left to fend for myself
In a sea of answers
Not all I am looking for
Or want to know
Appearing before me
Realizations I haven’t wanted
Truths that are too much
Hope
Lost?
Or hidden?
Behind walls
Harder than stone
More durable
Than a great warrior
Harder to track
Than a black wolf
Under the cover
Of a moonless night
With a deep fog
Among the forests of the soul
I cannot tell
What I feel anymore
Whether its sadness
Or anger
Or regret
Or the epitome of solitude
But solitude is good
This cannot be it
Alone
Alone with myself
To wonder what went wrong
What went right
What would be
I have felt this before
More times than I’ve wanted
The past remembered
Cannot be forgotten
Like a first kiss
Under something
Not entirely true
With something hidden behind
Unknown