Relationships
I need to vent, and there's nobody online at this time of night.
Man, relationships are starting to get on my nerves. They're great while they last, but the stuff after them is just painful. Sometimes i dont know if the pain is worth it. But then, usually more pain is added if you sit in the shadows and watch the ones you care about do stuff with other guys. ARGH! I dont know what to do anymore. Maybe blending into the shadows wouldnt be such a bad thing. Its helped before in these situations. Damn being a nice guy. We do finish last, most of the time. Damn life to hell. What happened to times where love was life, and life was meant to be lived by things that meant something? Gone. Gone with all meaning. "True friends stab you in the front." I need to put my walls back up, but damn it, i've become soft, perhaps a little too soft. Walls are easy to put up at first, hard to take down, and even harder to rebuild. It takes a lot of time to go through the rubble and find what goes where. For once in my life i'd like a tad of consistancy....something i could work for, but also something that never seems to go in my favor. "For every action, there is an equal but opposite reaction" this, in reference to good things in life, is immesurably true. It always seems that every time something good happens in your life, that something equally bad, or worse happens. I've been trying to get back up as much as i can when i'm knocked down, but sometimes you just want to stay down for a while and rest. I wish life were more simple, but in the grand scheme of things, life gets progressivly worse. All we can do is adapt and get stronger. In the average case, life sucks ass, and in the more average case, love does too. Source of our greatest strenth and our worst weakness. Love and hope. Neither of which usually end well for preforming them. Sometimes i envy the people i know. Most of them have relationships that last ungodly amounts of time. I'm very happy for them, and all i can ever do is wish for a relationship like those. So far, i havnt succeeded. I wish to have someone special in my life, and it seems i've either had Desperado moments or they just havnt worked out. I still look back and see things that i tried for, and should have tried harder for. Sometimes i just hate being the friend. Love's a pain in the ass.
I think i've vented enough for tonight, sadly, it hasnt helped.
Man, relationships are starting to get on my nerves. They're great while they last, but the stuff after them is just painful. Sometimes i dont know if the pain is worth it. But then, usually more pain is added if you sit in the shadows and watch the ones you care about do stuff with other guys. ARGH! I dont know what to do anymore. Maybe blending into the shadows wouldnt be such a bad thing. Its helped before in these situations. Damn being a nice guy. We do finish last, most of the time. Damn life to hell. What happened to times where love was life, and life was meant to be lived by things that meant something? Gone. Gone with all meaning. "True friends stab you in the front." I need to put my walls back up, but damn it, i've become soft, perhaps a little too soft. Walls are easy to put up at first, hard to take down, and even harder to rebuild. It takes a lot of time to go through the rubble and find what goes where. For once in my life i'd like a tad of consistancy....something i could work for, but also something that never seems to go in my favor. "For every action, there is an equal but opposite reaction" this, in reference to good things in life, is immesurably true. It always seems that every time something good happens in your life, that something equally bad, or worse happens. I've been trying to get back up as much as i can when i'm knocked down, but sometimes you just want to stay down for a while and rest. I wish life were more simple, but in the grand scheme of things, life gets progressivly worse. All we can do is adapt and get stronger. In the average case, life sucks ass, and in the more average case, love does too. Source of our greatest strenth and our worst weakness. Love and hope. Neither of which usually end well for preforming them. Sometimes i envy the people i know. Most of them have relationships that last ungodly amounts of time. I'm very happy for them, and all i can ever do is wish for a relationship like those. So far, i havnt succeeded. I wish to have someone special in my life, and it seems i've either had Desperado moments or they just havnt worked out. I still look back and see things that i tried for, and should have tried harder for. Sometimes i just hate being the friend. Love's a pain in the ass.
I think i've vented enough for tonight, sadly, it hasnt helped.