Fic: Journey Into Night 9/11 + Epilogue
Title: Journey Into Night
Author: Kaethel (kae-nine)
Characters/Pairing: Ten/Rose, eventually Ten/Jack/Rose
Rated: M
Warnings: explicit OT3 content, character death in the second chapter (none of the main three characters)
Spoilers: Nothing beyond DW’s Journey’s End. Small mention of Torchwood’s Exit Wounds.
Summary: He’s got the biggest family in the universe - but he keeps pushing them away.
Disclaimer: Doctor Who characters and episodes belong to the BBC; I’m just borrowing them for some shameless bit of fun. ;)
A/N: This story wouldn’t ever have left the realms of my hard drive without wendymr’s and dark_aegis’ huge help throughout the writing process. They’ve been the best BRs, cheerleaders, supporters, and brainstormers that I could ever hope for. Many thanks also go to both yamx and botanee, who brainstormed several scenes with me and were always ever so encouraging and helpful. The story is now complete, so I will be posting a new chapter about twice a week.
Chapter 1: Mistakes and Memories | Chapter 2: Loss and Longing | Chapter 3: Woe and Weakness | Chapter 4: Culpability and Consequences | Chapter 5: Debt and Delays | Chapter 6: Talk and Tinkering | Chapter 7: Regret and Ritual | Chapter 8: Comfort and Consolation
- Chapter 9 -
Sensuality and Satisfaction
I won’t abandon you.
Jack sounded sincere, and Rose wanted so much to believe him when he spoke in that eager, honest tone of voice, but the men in her life really had a knack for making promises they couldn’t keep, and she’d heard those words too many times to fall for them again.
Starting with the Doctor, who’d sent her away every time he decided he became too dangerous for her. Till death do you part, they said on Earth. Hah! The Doctor didn’t even wait for death to show up before he sent her away. Death was a very convenient excuse.
Jack, too, had left her once. Busy rebuilding the Earth, the Doctor had said. The Captain hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye, and she’d never seen him again until yesterday, when his face had appeared on Harriet Jones’ subwave network.
Why? she wanted to ask him. Why had he run away from the life of adventure they’d had together? He’d seemed to enjoy himself at the time. Why the sudden change of mind? Why hadn’t she deserved a proper explanation? Why was he making a promise now that he hadn’t been able to keep then? Why? What was different now that meant he’d stay?
A small sign of movement and the sound of rustling clothes to her left stopped her from voicing the question aloud.
The Doctor.
He was lurking in the doorway, his head down and a trainer-clad foot tracing random patterns on the grating floor of the corridor. The resulting sound of rubber against metal seemed to fascinate him.
“Hi,” she said softly, and felt Jack turn towards the Doctor as well, though she noted with some satisfaction that he kept his arms around her.
The foot stilled, the patterns stopped, and the Doctor looked up. “Hi,” he replied, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck.
His gaze moved over to Jack, travelled down the Captain’s arms and settled on her waist, where Jack’s fingers disappeared under her pyjama top. When the Doctor raised his head again, Rose caught a very brief hint of longing in his eyes. Almost immediately, the mask slid back into place, and she wondered if she’d imagined the fleeting desire on his face.
She wanted to see that trace of emotion again, ached to see him yearn for her once more, the way he did when she still believed she’d travel with him for ever.
Locking her eyes with the Doctor’s, she trailed one hand down Jack’s chest and rested it against the steady beating of his heart.
The Doctor didn’t blink. He swallowed and shifted his weight onto one foot, but he didn’t blink. She could swear his breathing accelerated, though.
Pushing the experiment further, she let the fingers of her right hand play with the short hair at the back of Jack’s neck. Two sharp intakes of breath answered her, one by the door, the other right next to her ear.
Come on, Jack, she thought, her lips tightly clamped together as she struggled to stay focused. You know what I’m doing.
He did. Quick on the uptake, Jack was. The hands he’d safely kept at her waist started wandering down the side of her thighs. Fingers stroked across the bare skin below her sleep-shorts, then slid back up and under the thin cotton of her pyjama-top, lifting it out of the way to graze the sides of her ribcage. She shivered.
Momentarily distracted by Jack’s skilful touch, she lost track of where she was and who was watching them. Through half-closed eyelids, she saw Jack grin in answer to the moan that escaped her lips. He looked pleased with the effect he had on her.
So he should. She felt good with him. She loved him. It wasn’t the passionate kind of love she felt for the Doctor, fed by years of unwanted separation on both sides, but it was a strong, steady feeling that went way beyond physical attraction for a very hot bloke.
She and Shareen had looked down on their friend Trish when she’d claimed to be unable to choose between two blokes she was dating.
And here she was now, in Jack’s arms, wanting him, needing him. Oh yes, she was in love with him, and just as much as she was in love with the Doctor.
Jack touched his mouth to the skin of her neck, the warm caress trailing down her throat. She tipped her head back, granting him access, and when his lips closed around her pulse point and sucked, she gasped loudly.
She forced her eyes open to look at the Doctor. He’d shifted onto his other foot. His eyes had gone wide and very dark, and his mouth was hanging open. He was holding onto the doorjamb. Aware of every little twitch in his jaw, she let her tongue dart out to slide along her lower lip. The Doctor squirmed.
Images of their last lovemaking suddenly flashed into her mind. She saw him looming over her, his thighs between her legs, pressing against her. She could feel the tails of his open shirt graze her breasts, the wetness of his mouth nipping at her skin, the first shudders of her orgasm, his own release pulsing inside her.
She breathed heavily, the memories made more palpable by the feel of Jack’s mouth and hands working their way down her skin, and she kept her gaze locked with the Doctor’s, wondering if he could see those images, too.
She missed him. She missed him so very much, had missed him during the time she’d spent away, and would miss him for the rest of her life.
One last time, she thought pleadingly. She wanted to be with him one last time.
Wrapping her arm around Jack to keep herself steady, she extended her free hand out to the Doctor, trembling fingers beckoning him inside the room.
He seemed to hesitate, and her heart clenched. He was going to leave. He was going to turn away, and the next time she’d see him he’d wave her and Jack goodbye from the TARDIS door. He was really going to abandon her now.
He didn’t.
He took a careful step inside the room and leaned against the closing door, his hands still holding the handle behind his back.
“Please,” Rose whispered. She was dimly aware of how pathetic her pleading sounded. She didn’t care.
Two strides across the room, and he was standing very close. She shifted onto her knees. Still holding onto Jack’s shoulder to keep her balance, she slid her free hand around the Doctor’s neck and pulled him down to her.
He stood still at first, not responding to the pressure of her lips against his, and she wondered if she was going too far. His rejection was going to hurt like hell, she knew that, but she still had to take a chance, much like she’d had when she’d told him she loved him on Darlig Ulv Stranden.
Maybe he didn’t want this. Maybe he was over her, and their last time together was already in the past. Maybe he was busy trying to figure out a way to break it out to her as gently as possible.
She started to withdraw, but then she felt cool hands and long fingers replace Jack’s warm touch at her waist and under her shirt, and his mouth caught hers again, his tongue sweeping past her lips and gently touching hers.
The Doctor was kissing her, slowly, languidly, and she yielded under the pressure of his lips, leaning back against the support of his powerful hands keeping her close to him. She could feel the furious beating of his hearts meeting hers, the tickle of his breath on her lips, the taste of tea and sugar on his tongue.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing herself closer to him and surrendering to his kiss.
The mattress beside her moved. The Doctor’s lips left hers, and they both looked up at Jack, who’d stood up and was giving every sign that he was about to leave the two of them on their own. He was giving them space, she thought with growing disappointment. He didn’t know that she wanted to be with him as much as she wanted to be with the Doctor, as kinky as the possibility seemed to her own mind.
She’d had the odd fantasy about having two men in her bed at the same time, yes, but she’d never thought she’d seriously consider going through with it. With Jack and the Doctor, though, it was different.
Just as Jack started towards the door, the Doctor caught his arm in one swift move. Jack staggered backwards; the Doctor’s hands steadied him, then he tugged him back and kissed the Captain fully on the lips. There was a yelp of surprise, a gasp and a growl, and Jack was kissing the Doctor back.
Rose watched in fascination as both men fought for control of the kiss. Hands roamed, lips clasped and unclasped, sighs merged and equally feral groans vibrated between them. She’d never thought the sight of two men kissing could be so beautiful.
When they broke off, they were both flustered and breathless. Jack looked smug and the Doctor very embarrassed, especially when he turned back towards her.
“I’m sorry, I… I assumed… I shouldn’t have. I know you twenty-first century humans are a bit narrow-minded about sharing, I didn’t mean narrow-minded, I meant conventional, and I don’t mean that as a bad thing, I just mean that being in a three-way relationship isn’t something that’s part of your upbringing and it might push the envelope a bit for me to assume that you’d be okay with broadening your horizons a little and… ah… why are you smiling?” He turned towards Jack and pointed his thumb towards Rose. “Why’s she smiling?”
Jack barely had time to open his mouth to reply before Rose launched herself at him and devoured his lips with a kiss that she hoped covered the Doctor’s concerns for her willingness to be with them both.
“Ah,” she heard him say. “That’s why, I suppose.”
When Rose withdrew, licking her lips, Jack protested. “Hey! Isn’t anyone gonna ask me if I’m all right with this, too?”
“Sorry, Jack,” the Doctor said. “I forgot my manners. Is it okay if Rose and I snog you senseless?”
“Can I think about it for a minute?”
“Sure,” Rose said. “We’ll keep ourselves occupied in the meantime.”
Hooking a hand around the Doctor’s neck, she searched for any sign of hesitation on his face. There was none. His earlier smile had faded, but his features looked more peaceful than they had over the past few hours.
She laid her hand onto his chest, feeling the double heartbeat thudding in time with her single one. She stroked his cheek, and her lips stretched into a smile when, never taking his eyes off her, he kissed her fingers one by one, his tongue lightly touching the tip.
She would’ve liked to tell him how much she wanted him, how scared she was of having to spend the rest of her life without him. She remained silent, aware that any word about their complicated relationship could have both her and Jack back in Cardiff before she’d had a chance to share this last moment of intimacy with the Doctor.
She pulled him down to her, closing her eyes as they kissed, committing every sigh, every moan, every tug of his lips, every stroke of his tongue to memory. This moment would stay with her for the rest of her life, no matter what happened once the TARDIS disappeared into the Vortex for the last time.
“Don’t you dare have fun without me!”
She registered the words from somewhere behind the Doctor, but her lover’s mouth, combined with the hand that was squirming its way up her top and already cupping her breast, made Jack’s exclamation barely audible.
The Doctor stifled a gasp against her lips, and his whole body tensed. She felt his arms drop from her waist and, pulling away, opened her eyes. Jack’s hands were tugging at the Time Lord’s jacket from behind him. Silent agreement with the Captain had them both work on the Doctor’s clothes until he stood naked between them.
“You’re a lot bonier than your older self,” Jack commented with a frown. “Not that I don’t like it!”
“How do you know what my older self looked like anyway?” The Doctor’s eyes suddenly widened like saucers. “Oh no, don’t tell me. You spied on me?”
“Relax, Doctor,” Jack waggled his eyebrows. “Would’ve loved to, but the TARDIS was always on your side, protecting your privacy. I just have a very good imagination. Tight clothing was a bonus.”
“No clothing at all is better,” Rose chimed in, peppering kisses down the Doctor’s chest and letting her hands skim over his nipples.
His fingers tangled in her hair, his breathing becoming more erratic, and when he tipped his head backwards with a low growl, she looked down to see Jack’s hand wrapped around him.
She gripped his shoulder as her free hand joined Jack’s, stroking the Doctor. Slowly at first, then they were both moving faster until he was panting and thrusting his hips against their wrists.
A very dark pair of eyes looked at her and, releasing him, she stepped back.
“Watch,” she ordered, then slid her top over her head and moved to a sitting position to wriggle out of her shorts.
When she shifted to kneel on the edge of the bed again, one cool hand reached for her waist and roughly tugged her back to him, trapping his erection and Jack’s wrist between them. The Doctor’s lips crashed against hers, his kiss bordering on desperation.
Rose’s hands slid down his arms to wrap themselves around his quivering fingers. Pulling away from his kiss, she motioned for him to lie down. By the time he’d settled against the pillows, Jack had got rid of his own T-shirt and jeans.
“What?” the Captain queried at their stunned expressions. He looked down at himself, as if searching for a sign of imperfection and finding none - he was gorgeous, Rose had to acknowledge. “Oh. Don’t worry. I’m fast only when it comes to getting undressed.”
Winking at them, he climbed onto the bed and straddled the Doctor’s calves. “Now, where were we?”
“Just about there,” Rose said, grabbing his hand and placing it on the Doctor’s straining erection again.
His hips bucked in immediate reply to the touch. Satisfied with the Time Lord’s response, Jack flashed a wolfish grin at his lover, making Rose wonder how long the Captain had fantasised about doing this to the Doctor.
“Many years for sure, but certainly not on a girly pink duvet,” Jack replied, and Rose realised she’d said that one last thought aloud. “Done that in many a place, but I’ve got to admit, pink is a first.”
“Isn’t bed a first?” Laced with need, the Doctor’s words came out as a whisper.
“Rare thing,” Jack confessed, stilling his moves. “Almost seems kinky to me. You coddled Rose in a lap of luxury.”
“She deserves it.”
Rose’s heart leapt. His earnest tone and the way he looked at her, his eyes full of tenderness and love, reminded her of the Doctor she’d once known, the one who shared chips with her, who lay down in apple grass, who swept her into bone-crushing hugs and never let go of her hand. The one who spent every night with her and, in the morning, promised to take her further than they’d ever gone before.
She lay on her side next to him, propping herself onto her elbow. She took his lips into a kiss, her hand wandering past his racing heartbeats to the thin line of hair on his abdomen. She felt his muscles twitch under her touch, then a hot breath on her fingertips.
Jack’s mouth had replaced his hand and, judging by the way the Doctor’s hips were pushing off the bed with each swirl of the Captain’s tongue and each stroke of his lips, completion was coming fast. The Doctor’s hold on the duvet had tightened, and when Rose pressed her lips to one of his nipples and grazed her teeth against it, she felt him blindly reach for her hand.
He came with a gasp of both their names on his lips, and his hold on her hand turned into a bruising grip that relaxed only when Jack released him.
***
The TARDIS had dimmed the lights, plunging the room into semi-darkness. The Doctor, opening his eyes and resting his head back against the pillows, wondered if he should feel any shame or even embarrassment at what had just happened.
The masculine hand that set a deliberately slow path up his thigh to rest against his crotch, and the full and feminine lips that closed around his earlobe, teeth tugging lightly, crushed his doubts. Remorse for what he’d let his companions do and see tonight was not on the agenda. This body definitely had a shameless liking for sex.
Well, he’d had it in earlier incarnations as well, he thought ruefully, remembering the number of times he’d had to keep a careful distance from Rose and Jack to avoid temptation. His previous body had remained very chaste, though, and had managed to confine himself to handholding and hugs. Mostly.
Everything had changed after his regeneration. At the time, he’d blamed his weakness on the constant danger that threatened to take Rose away from him; need to seize the day had taken over, and he’d stepped over the invisible line between them. The truth was, fear of losing her had nothing to do with it. He’d wanted Rose right from the moment he’d wrapped his hand around hers in Henrik’s basement. By barging into his life, she’d demolished every single protective barrier he’d so carefully built around himself.
And now Jack was doing the same to him. Oh, he’d never denied that he was attracted to the bloke. Well, okay, maybe he’d denied it a bit. A tiny, almost miniscule, bit. But now the dam was open, and he couldn’t claim indifference any more. Not to mention that Jack was pretty damn good in the bedroom territory. The privilege of experience, he supposed.
Still. He’d come to his companions to apologise, and his initial plan had definitely gone awry. Seeing them together had woken an urge he’d been trying to ignore. Combining that with his own need for comfort and knowing that he’d be alone again soon enough, they hadn’t had to try very hard for him to give in and join them.
Jack’s warm hand covered his cheek and, despite himself, he leaned into it, savouring that touch. So little time left until he wouldn’t be able to experience the wonders of simple, human, touch. A tender, loving kiss was pressed against his lips. This wasn’t the same playful lover who’d made him come a few minutes earlier. This was Jack, his best friend, the man who understood how it felt to lose loved ones and live on alone. Jack, who’d held him as he mourned the loss of his duplicate. Jack, who’d taken charge and offered him support when all the Doctor had wanted to do was run away. Jack, who so obviously loved him, when he had no idea why and certainly didn’t deserve it.
“Thank you,” he whispered when the Captain pulled away. There was so much more he wished he could say, but the words stayed stuck in his throat. He swallowed.
There was a flash of a smile and a wink. “I know. I’m the best you’ve ever had.”
Trust Jack to turn everything into a joke and deliberately ignore compliments and gratitude. The Captain always put himself last; in fact, he wouldn’t even be lying here on Rose’s bed if they hadn’t held him back. He’d imagined that he wasn’t welcome in their relationship.
Then again, the Doctor had a lot to do with Jack’s lack of self-confidence around him. He’d deliberately abandoned the lad on a devastated and empty satellite, not even ensuring that Jack had a way to get back home, wherever home had been at the time. The Doctor had fled without looking back, taking Rose with him. And the next time he’d seen Jack, he’d tried to run away again, and he’d called him ‘wrong’.
Jack had forgiven him. The Doctor was partly responsible for the Captain’s immortality, but Jack had still forgiven him for everything he had and hadn’t done. He’d even forgiven him for his year of torture at the Master’s hands. How humbling was that? Jack was just that kind of man, though. He’d gone through several human lifetimes, watched people he loved die, sometimes because of him, and he still looked at the world with hope and empathy. And love. He loved even the people who’d hurt and abandoned him.
“I mean it, Jack,” the Doctor added, shifting to a sitting position on the bed. “And you, Rose. You two… Without you, I could never have…”
Survived the Time War. Defeated Davros. Watched yet another Time Lord disappear. Gone through life, day after day.
He cleared his throat and looked away. “I mean… thanks.”
Rose gently rubbed his arm and set her lips against his shoulder. “You’re important to us, Doctor.”
“I’ve hurt you. And I never meant to - ”
Soft lips pressed to his, and warm arms wrapped around him, pushing him into the bed. Her message was clear: shut up and stop apologising. Fine, he could do that. Shut up. There were more interesting things to do with his mouth and tongue anyway and… yes. Shut up.
When Rose raised her head a few moments later, compassion and love - and nothing else - was clear in her eyes. “No talking, Doctor. Just enjoy this. Enjoy being with us, all right?”
“Yeah.” Jack was leaning over her shoulder now, tenderness and affection in his gaze. “Better do as she says, Doctor.” He closed the distance between them, pre-empting any reply.
Apologise. He needed to apologise to Jack, too, tell him how sorry he was. He needed to… he… oh, this was good. Better than good. Different from the way Rose’s body fitted against his, all soft and curvy and tantalising, but just as arousing. The Captain was all strength and hard muscles.
He wrapped his arms around Jack, and they fell back onto the mattress in a tangle of limbs. Hands wandered and squeezed, teeth nipped, and physical contact roused instincts he’d been trying to forget. His Time Lord guts were kicking in, waking a dull ache in the pit of his stomach. Fixed point. Fact. Wrong. Jack was wrong. Time flew around him and he never moved.
Rose didn’t mind. Rose couldn’t see that. All she saw was the good man, the friend, the really hot bloke, she would say. She loved him. The Doctor’s hold on the Captain tightened, and his moves grew more frantic.
This was Jack. Jack, who’d dropped Torchwood and Cardiff without a second thought, just to be with him.
He deepened the kiss, framing his lover’s face, and his fingers brushed a caress down Jack’s cheek. The Captain pulled away, a frown marring his forehead. His eyes were wide with a mixture of lust and surprise, as if he hadn’t expected the Doctor to care about him beyond one brief moment of passion.
“Oh, Jack, I’m…” Lips covered his, swallowing the end of his sentence.
Sorry.
He poured his remorse into their kiss, tightening his embrace around Jack in a desperate attempt to make up for the pain he’d caused.
There was a low, needy moan behind him and a hand fluttering against his back. He broke the kiss and shifted his attention to Rose. She was lying on her side, her pupils dilated with need, her body so close to his that he could feel the heat of her skin. As he looked at her, she chewed on her lower lip, and her gaze flickered between him and Jack.
“You know, Doctor,” Jack said with a wink. “Until you came along, no-one sharing my bed could’ve complained about feeling neglected.”
He rolled his eyes. “Oh, please forgive me for being so distracting! You’ve been ignoring Rose and all you’re worrying about is your track record?”
“You two don’t need to argue,” Rose said, rising to her knees to plant a quick kiss on his lips, then Jack’s. “I’m enjoying the view.”
“Watching is nice, but…” Jack moved to her open arms and trailed his mouth along her collarbone. “Taking part is more fun, don’t you think?”
He rolled onto his back and pushed Rose between the Doctor and himself. “Doctor,” he said over her shoulder, keeping a hand secured around her waist. “I think Rose needs your attention.”
Immediately, the Doctor leaned over to kiss her, but as her lips yielded under his and her skin trembled under his touch, he felt the other man’s arm withdraw from its possessive hold on Rose.
Jack was doing it again. He was retreating to the background, as if Rose and himself belonged together and the Captain was nothing more than a third wheel in this relationship, someone they liked but didn’t love.
It was time to prove him wrong. Show him that he belonged.
The Doctor pulled away.
“It’s like you said, Captain.” Keeping his eyes fixed on Jack, he brushed his lips against Rose’s and, wrapping an arm around her back, drew her leg over his thigh. “Taking part is more fun.”
***
Jack blinked and stared at his friend, wondering if he understood the Time Lord correctly. In his previous guise, the Doctor had always been very possessive about Rose. He’d exuded a hands-off attitude that had left Jack with no doubt that Rose was out of bounds, no matter how attracted they were to each other.
The past few minutes, though, indicated that the new Doctor liked the idea of sharing his bed with more than just Rose Tyler. More than that, he’d encouraged Jack to kiss and touch her. Rose had seemed rather enthused with the concept as well.
But was the Doctor now implying that Jack should be the one pleasuring Rose? Was Rose even okay with that? Wouldn’t she rather have the Doctor, knowing this moment was probably her last chance to be with the man she loved before he dumped her back on Earth and disappeared?
“Jack…” she mumbled, the sound of her voice muffled against the Doctor’s chest. She rubbed her bottom against his pelvis, the friction sending another surge of desire shooting through him.
Reaching over Rose’s head, he kissed the Doctor’s lips. The touch was firm and brief, and when the Doctor opened his mouth under his, Jack withdrew, giving him a quick look of apology. Now was time to focus on Rose.
He hadn’t made love to a woman in decades. Not that he hadn’t wanted to. Working ungodly hours for Torchwood and hiding away when people got too close had given him more occasions with men. Quickies with soldiers and undefined relationships with colleagues matted his life these days. Miles from having sex with someone he loved. Miles from making love to Rose Tyler.
The Doctor gave him an encouraging nod and, whispering Rose’s name, Jack slid into her. Her hand groped for the Doctor’s arm, seeking support, and her knuckles turned white with tension. Jack froze, waiting for her to adjust to the feel of him inside her. She was warm and tight around him, and he laid his hand against her abdomen, feeling her muscles spasm under his touch.
Nuzzling her neck, he pressed his body against her back. When she shifted against him, he started thrusting into her, deeply and unhurriedly. Sweeping damp strands of hair off her nape, he kissed the back of her neck, catching droplets of perspiration on his tongue. Her moans of approval drowned in the kiss that the Doctor pushed against her lips.
Jack smoothed his hand over her hip, reaching down her thigh until his fingers met the Doctor’s. Withdrawing from Rose’s mouth, the Doctor stared at him, his eyes full of affection for both his partners.
Fingers entwined and, a small smile playing about his lips, the Doctor guided their joined hands between Rose’s legs. Her gasp of pleasure was all the encouragement they needed. Together, they rubbed their fingers against her, matching the rhythm of Jack’s thrusts until Rose was whimpering her pleasure, her head falling forward against the Doctor’s chest. Jack fell along with her and, his fingers still trapped under the Doctor’s hand, he lost control, reaching his own climax with a groan.
His heart thudding against Rose’s back, he kept his arm wrapped around her and the Doctor, wishing this moment would last, but knowing that their time together was up.
This was the goodbye that the Doctor had granted them. Intense, powerful, mind-blowing, and fulfilling the need that Jack had felt for both his friends ever since he’d first met them, but leaving an even bigger hole in his heart than when making love to them had been nothing more than a fantasy.
How long until the Doctor pulled away from the tender touches and kisses they were sharing now? How long until he stood, grabbed his clothes, left the room, and made the TARDIS materialise in the Hub, breaking Rose’s heart in the process, and leaving Jack with the job of comforting her while pretending his own heart wasn’t broken too?
The Doctor wouldn’t come back. He might claim that he’d visit now and again, maybe to soothe Rose, make her believe that he wasn’t a heartless bastard, but Jack knew better. Once the TARDIS disappeared, they wouldn’t see the Doctor again.
Lifting his head, he watched Rose press herself against the Doctor, saw him tuck her head under his chin, his hand brushing over her hair, his lips grazing her forehead. He loved her. His duplicate had said so, and both half-human and Time Lord had shared the same memories and emotions.
Those two loved each other as much as Jack loved them both, and while it tore at his heart to think that he’d soon be back in the emptiness of his linear life, he couldn’t let the Doctor give up on the one person who kept him grounded to humanity.
“I suppose it’s time,” he said, breaking the silence that had settled between them.
The Doctor’s hand stilled against Rose’s neck. “Time for what?”
“Well, you’re taking us back to Cardiff, aren’t you?” he replied, trying to keep the bitterness out of his tone. “Just do me a favour, Doctor. Wake up. Wake up and see what’s in front of you. You need Rose as much as she needs you. Don’t leave her stranded on Earth with me. Keep her with you.”
***
Chapter 10: Neglect and Negotiation
Author: Kaethel (kae-nine)
Characters/Pairing: Ten/Rose, eventually Ten/Jack/Rose
Rated: M
Warnings: explicit OT3 content, character death in the second chapter (none of the main three characters)
Spoilers: Nothing beyond DW’s Journey’s End. Small mention of Torchwood’s Exit Wounds.
Summary: He’s got the biggest family in the universe - but he keeps pushing them away.
Disclaimer: Doctor Who characters and episodes belong to the BBC; I’m just borrowing them for some shameless bit of fun. ;)
A/N: This story wouldn’t ever have left the realms of my hard drive without wendymr’s and dark_aegis’ huge help throughout the writing process. They’ve been the best BRs, cheerleaders, supporters, and brainstormers that I could ever hope for. Many thanks also go to both yamx and botanee, who brainstormed several scenes with me and were always ever so encouraging and helpful. The story is now complete, so I will be posting a new chapter about twice a week.
Chapter 1: Mistakes and Memories | Chapter 2: Loss and Longing | Chapter 3: Woe and Weakness | Chapter 4: Culpability and Consequences | Chapter 5: Debt and Delays | Chapter 6: Talk and Tinkering | Chapter 7: Regret and Ritual | Chapter 8: Comfort and Consolation
- Chapter 9 -
Sensuality and Satisfaction
I won’t abandon you.
Jack sounded sincere, and Rose wanted so much to believe him when he spoke in that eager, honest tone of voice, but the men in her life really had a knack for making promises they couldn’t keep, and she’d heard those words too many times to fall for them again.
Starting with the Doctor, who’d sent her away every time he decided he became too dangerous for her. Till death do you part, they said on Earth. Hah! The Doctor didn’t even wait for death to show up before he sent her away. Death was a very convenient excuse.
Jack, too, had left her once. Busy rebuilding the Earth, the Doctor had said. The Captain hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye, and she’d never seen him again until yesterday, when his face had appeared on Harriet Jones’ subwave network.
Why? she wanted to ask him. Why had he run away from the life of adventure they’d had together? He’d seemed to enjoy himself at the time. Why the sudden change of mind? Why hadn’t she deserved a proper explanation? Why was he making a promise now that he hadn’t been able to keep then? Why? What was different now that meant he’d stay?
A small sign of movement and the sound of rustling clothes to her left stopped her from voicing the question aloud.
The Doctor.
He was lurking in the doorway, his head down and a trainer-clad foot tracing random patterns on the grating floor of the corridor. The resulting sound of rubber against metal seemed to fascinate him.
“Hi,” she said softly, and felt Jack turn towards the Doctor as well, though she noted with some satisfaction that he kept his arms around her.
The foot stilled, the patterns stopped, and the Doctor looked up. “Hi,” he replied, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck.
His gaze moved over to Jack, travelled down the Captain’s arms and settled on her waist, where Jack’s fingers disappeared under her pyjama top. When the Doctor raised his head again, Rose caught a very brief hint of longing in his eyes. Almost immediately, the mask slid back into place, and she wondered if she’d imagined the fleeting desire on his face.
She wanted to see that trace of emotion again, ached to see him yearn for her once more, the way he did when she still believed she’d travel with him for ever.
Locking her eyes with the Doctor’s, she trailed one hand down Jack’s chest and rested it against the steady beating of his heart.
The Doctor didn’t blink. He swallowed and shifted his weight onto one foot, but he didn’t blink. She could swear his breathing accelerated, though.
Pushing the experiment further, she let the fingers of her right hand play with the short hair at the back of Jack’s neck. Two sharp intakes of breath answered her, one by the door, the other right next to her ear.
Come on, Jack, she thought, her lips tightly clamped together as she struggled to stay focused. You know what I’m doing.
He did. Quick on the uptake, Jack was. The hands he’d safely kept at her waist started wandering down the side of her thighs. Fingers stroked across the bare skin below her sleep-shorts, then slid back up and under the thin cotton of her pyjama-top, lifting it out of the way to graze the sides of her ribcage. She shivered.
Momentarily distracted by Jack’s skilful touch, she lost track of where she was and who was watching them. Through half-closed eyelids, she saw Jack grin in answer to the moan that escaped her lips. He looked pleased with the effect he had on her.
So he should. She felt good with him. She loved him. It wasn’t the passionate kind of love she felt for the Doctor, fed by years of unwanted separation on both sides, but it was a strong, steady feeling that went way beyond physical attraction for a very hot bloke.
She and Shareen had looked down on their friend Trish when she’d claimed to be unable to choose between two blokes she was dating.
And here she was now, in Jack’s arms, wanting him, needing him. Oh yes, she was in love with him, and just as much as she was in love with the Doctor.
Jack touched his mouth to the skin of her neck, the warm caress trailing down her throat. She tipped her head back, granting him access, and when his lips closed around her pulse point and sucked, she gasped loudly.
She forced her eyes open to look at the Doctor. He’d shifted onto his other foot. His eyes had gone wide and very dark, and his mouth was hanging open. He was holding onto the doorjamb. Aware of every little twitch in his jaw, she let her tongue dart out to slide along her lower lip. The Doctor squirmed.
Images of their last lovemaking suddenly flashed into her mind. She saw him looming over her, his thighs between her legs, pressing against her. She could feel the tails of his open shirt graze her breasts, the wetness of his mouth nipping at her skin, the first shudders of her orgasm, his own release pulsing inside her.
She breathed heavily, the memories made more palpable by the feel of Jack’s mouth and hands working their way down her skin, and she kept her gaze locked with the Doctor’s, wondering if he could see those images, too.
She missed him. She missed him so very much, had missed him during the time she’d spent away, and would miss him for the rest of her life.
One last time, she thought pleadingly. She wanted to be with him one last time.
Wrapping her arm around Jack to keep herself steady, she extended her free hand out to the Doctor, trembling fingers beckoning him inside the room.
He seemed to hesitate, and her heart clenched. He was going to leave. He was going to turn away, and the next time she’d see him he’d wave her and Jack goodbye from the TARDIS door. He was really going to abandon her now.
He didn’t.
He took a careful step inside the room and leaned against the closing door, his hands still holding the handle behind his back.
“Please,” Rose whispered. She was dimly aware of how pathetic her pleading sounded. She didn’t care.
Two strides across the room, and he was standing very close. She shifted onto her knees. Still holding onto Jack’s shoulder to keep her balance, she slid her free hand around the Doctor’s neck and pulled him down to her.
He stood still at first, not responding to the pressure of her lips against his, and she wondered if she was going too far. His rejection was going to hurt like hell, she knew that, but she still had to take a chance, much like she’d had when she’d told him she loved him on Darlig Ulv Stranden.
Maybe he didn’t want this. Maybe he was over her, and their last time together was already in the past. Maybe he was busy trying to figure out a way to break it out to her as gently as possible.
She started to withdraw, but then she felt cool hands and long fingers replace Jack’s warm touch at her waist and under her shirt, and his mouth caught hers again, his tongue sweeping past her lips and gently touching hers.
The Doctor was kissing her, slowly, languidly, and she yielded under the pressure of his lips, leaning back against the support of his powerful hands keeping her close to him. She could feel the furious beating of his hearts meeting hers, the tickle of his breath on her lips, the taste of tea and sugar on his tongue.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing herself closer to him and surrendering to his kiss.
The mattress beside her moved. The Doctor’s lips left hers, and they both looked up at Jack, who’d stood up and was giving every sign that he was about to leave the two of them on their own. He was giving them space, she thought with growing disappointment. He didn’t know that she wanted to be with him as much as she wanted to be with the Doctor, as kinky as the possibility seemed to her own mind.
She’d had the odd fantasy about having two men in her bed at the same time, yes, but she’d never thought she’d seriously consider going through with it. With Jack and the Doctor, though, it was different.
Just as Jack started towards the door, the Doctor caught his arm in one swift move. Jack staggered backwards; the Doctor’s hands steadied him, then he tugged him back and kissed the Captain fully on the lips. There was a yelp of surprise, a gasp and a growl, and Jack was kissing the Doctor back.
Rose watched in fascination as both men fought for control of the kiss. Hands roamed, lips clasped and unclasped, sighs merged and equally feral groans vibrated between them. She’d never thought the sight of two men kissing could be so beautiful.
When they broke off, they were both flustered and breathless. Jack looked smug and the Doctor very embarrassed, especially when he turned back towards her.
“I’m sorry, I… I assumed… I shouldn’t have. I know you twenty-first century humans are a bit narrow-minded about sharing, I didn’t mean narrow-minded, I meant conventional, and I don’t mean that as a bad thing, I just mean that being in a three-way relationship isn’t something that’s part of your upbringing and it might push the envelope a bit for me to assume that you’d be okay with broadening your horizons a little and… ah… why are you smiling?” He turned towards Jack and pointed his thumb towards Rose. “Why’s she smiling?”
Jack barely had time to open his mouth to reply before Rose launched herself at him and devoured his lips with a kiss that she hoped covered the Doctor’s concerns for her willingness to be with them both.
“Ah,” she heard him say. “That’s why, I suppose.”
When Rose withdrew, licking her lips, Jack protested. “Hey! Isn’t anyone gonna ask me if I’m all right with this, too?”
“Sorry, Jack,” the Doctor said. “I forgot my manners. Is it okay if Rose and I snog you senseless?”
“Can I think about it for a minute?”
“Sure,” Rose said. “We’ll keep ourselves occupied in the meantime.”
Hooking a hand around the Doctor’s neck, she searched for any sign of hesitation on his face. There was none. His earlier smile had faded, but his features looked more peaceful than they had over the past few hours.
She laid her hand onto his chest, feeling the double heartbeat thudding in time with her single one. She stroked his cheek, and her lips stretched into a smile when, never taking his eyes off her, he kissed her fingers one by one, his tongue lightly touching the tip.
She would’ve liked to tell him how much she wanted him, how scared she was of having to spend the rest of her life without him. She remained silent, aware that any word about their complicated relationship could have both her and Jack back in Cardiff before she’d had a chance to share this last moment of intimacy with the Doctor.
She pulled him down to her, closing her eyes as they kissed, committing every sigh, every moan, every tug of his lips, every stroke of his tongue to memory. This moment would stay with her for the rest of her life, no matter what happened once the TARDIS disappeared into the Vortex for the last time.
“Don’t you dare have fun without me!”
She registered the words from somewhere behind the Doctor, but her lover’s mouth, combined with the hand that was squirming its way up her top and already cupping her breast, made Jack’s exclamation barely audible.
The Doctor stifled a gasp against her lips, and his whole body tensed. She felt his arms drop from her waist and, pulling away, opened her eyes. Jack’s hands were tugging at the Time Lord’s jacket from behind him. Silent agreement with the Captain had them both work on the Doctor’s clothes until he stood naked between them.
“You’re a lot bonier than your older self,” Jack commented with a frown. “Not that I don’t like it!”
“How do you know what my older self looked like anyway?” The Doctor’s eyes suddenly widened like saucers. “Oh no, don’t tell me. You spied on me?”
“Relax, Doctor,” Jack waggled his eyebrows. “Would’ve loved to, but the TARDIS was always on your side, protecting your privacy. I just have a very good imagination. Tight clothing was a bonus.”
“No clothing at all is better,” Rose chimed in, peppering kisses down the Doctor’s chest and letting her hands skim over his nipples.
His fingers tangled in her hair, his breathing becoming more erratic, and when he tipped his head backwards with a low growl, she looked down to see Jack’s hand wrapped around him.
She gripped his shoulder as her free hand joined Jack’s, stroking the Doctor. Slowly at first, then they were both moving faster until he was panting and thrusting his hips against their wrists.
A very dark pair of eyes looked at her and, releasing him, she stepped back.
“Watch,” she ordered, then slid her top over her head and moved to a sitting position to wriggle out of her shorts.
When she shifted to kneel on the edge of the bed again, one cool hand reached for her waist and roughly tugged her back to him, trapping his erection and Jack’s wrist between them. The Doctor’s lips crashed against hers, his kiss bordering on desperation.
Rose’s hands slid down his arms to wrap themselves around his quivering fingers. Pulling away from his kiss, she motioned for him to lie down. By the time he’d settled against the pillows, Jack had got rid of his own T-shirt and jeans.
“What?” the Captain queried at their stunned expressions. He looked down at himself, as if searching for a sign of imperfection and finding none - he was gorgeous, Rose had to acknowledge. “Oh. Don’t worry. I’m fast only when it comes to getting undressed.”
Winking at them, he climbed onto the bed and straddled the Doctor’s calves. “Now, where were we?”
“Just about there,” Rose said, grabbing his hand and placing it on the Doctor’s straining erection again.
His hips bucked in immediate reply to the touch. Satisfied with the Time Lord’s response, Jack flashed a wolfish grin at his lover, making Rose wonder how long the Captain had fantasised about doing this to the Doctor.
“Many years for sure, but certainly not on a girly pink duvet,” Jack replied, and Rose realised she’d said that one last thought aloud. “Done that in many a place, but I’ve got to admit, pink is a first.”
“Isn’t bed a first?” Laced with need, the Doctor’s words came out as a whisper.
“Rare thing,” Jack confessed, stilling his moves. “Almost seems kinky to me. You coddled Rose in a lap of luxury.”
“She deserves it.”
Rose’s heart leapt. His earnest tone and the way he looked at her, his eyes full of tenderness and love, reminded her of the Doctor she’d once known, the one who shared chips with her, who lay down in apple grass, who swept her into bone-crushing hugs and never let go of her hand. The one who spent every night with her and, in the morning, promised to take her further than they’d ever gone before.
She lay on her side next to him, propping herself onto her elbow. She took his lips into a kiss, her hand wandering past his racing heartbeats to the thin line of hair on his abdomen. She felt his muscles twitch under her touch, then a hot breath on her fingertips.
Jack’s mouth had replaced his hand and, judging by the way the Doctor’s hips were pushing off the bed with each swirl of the Captain’s tongue and each stroke of his lips, completion was coming fast. The Doctor’s hold on the duvet had tightened, and when Rose pressed her lips to one of his nipples and grazed her teeth against it, she felt him blindly reach for her hand.
He came with a gasp of both their names on his lips, and his hold on her hand turned into a bruising grip that relaxed only when Jack released him.
***
The TARDIS had dimmed the lights, plunging the room into semi-darkness. The Doctor, opening his eyes and resting his head back against the pillows, wondered if he should feel any shame or even embarrassment at what had just happened.
The masculine hand that set a deliberately slow path up his thigh to rest against his crotch, and the full and feminine lips that closed around his earlobe, teeth tugging lightly, crushed his doubts. Remorse for what he’d let his companions do and see tonight was not on the agenda. This body definitely had a shameless liking for sex.
Well, he’d had it in earlier incarnations as well, he thought ruefully, remembering the number of times he’d had to keep a careful distance from Rose and Jack to avoid temptation. His previous body had remained very chaste, though, and had managed to confine himself to handholding and hugs. Mostly.
Everything had changed after his regeneration. At the time, he’d blamed his weakness on the constant danger that threatened to take Rose away from him; need to seize the day had taken over, and he’d stepped over the invisible line between them. The truth was, fear of losing her had nothing to do with it. He’d wanted Rose right from the moment he’d wrapped his hand around hers in Henrik’s basement. By barging into his life, she’d demolished every single protective barrier he’d so carefully built around himself.
And now Jack was doing the same to him. Oh, he’d never denied that he was attracted to the bloke. Well, okay, maybe he’d denied it a bit. A tiny, almost miniscule, bit. But now the dam was open, and he couldn’t claim indifference any more. Not to mention that Jack was pretty damn good in the bedroom territory. The privilege of experience, he supposed.
Still. He’d come to his companions to apologise, and his initial plan had definitely gone awry. Seeing them together had woken an urge he’d been trying to ignore. Combining that with his own need for comfort and knowing that he’d be alone again soon enough, they hadn’t had to try very hard for him to give in and join them.
Jack’s warm hand covered his cheek and, despite himself, he leaned into it, savouring that touch. So little time left until he wouldn’t be able to experience the wonders of simple, human, touch. A tender, loving kiss was pressed against his lips. This wasn’t the same playful lover who’d made him come a few minutes earlier. This was Jack, his best friend, the man who understood how it felt to lose loved ones and live on alone. Jack, who’d held him as he mourned the loss of his duplicate. Jack, who’d taken charge and offered him support when all the Doctor had wanted to do was run away. Jack, who so obviously loved him, when he had no idea why and certainly didn’t deserve it.
“Thank you,” he whispered when the Captain pulled away. There was so much more he wished he could say, but the words stayed stuck in his throat. He swallowed.
There was a flash of a smile and a wink. “I know. I’m the best you’ve ever had.”
Trust Jack to turn everything into a joke and deliberately ignore compliments and gratitude. The Captain always put himself last; in fact, he wouldn’t even be lying here on Rose’s bed if they hadn’t held him back. He’d imagined that he wasn’t welcome in their relationship.
Then again, the Doctor had a lot to do with Jack’s lack of self-confidence around him. He’d deliberately abandoned the lad on a devastated and empty satellite, not even ensuring that Jack had a way to get back home, wherever home had been at the time. The Doctor had fled without looking back, taking Rose with him. And the next time he’d seen Jack, he’d tried to run away again, and he’d called him ‘wrong’.
Jack had forgiven him. The Doctor was partly responsible for the Captain’s immortality, but Jack had still forgiven him for everything he had and hadn’t done. He’d even forgiven him for his year of torture at the Master’s hands. How humbling was that? Jack was just that kind of man, though. He’d gone through several human lifetimes, watched people he loved die, sometimes because of him, and he still looked at the world with hope and empathy. And love. He loved even the people who’d hurt and abandoned him.
“I mean it, Jack,” the Doctor added, shifting to a sitting position on the bed. “And you, Rose. You two… Without you, I could never have…”
Survived the Time War. Defeated Davros. Watched yet another Time Lord disappear. Gone through life, day after day.
He cleared his throat and looked away. “I mean… thanks.”
Rose gently rubbed his arm and set her lips against his shoulder. “You’re important to us, Doctor.”
“I’ve hurt you. And I never meant to - ”
Soft lips pressed to his, and warm arms wrapped around him, pushing him into the bed. Her message was clear: shut up and stop apologising. Fine, he could do that. Shut up. There were more interesting things to do with his mouth and tongue anyway and… yes. Shut up.
When Rose raised her head a few moments later, compassion and love - and nothing else - was clear in her eyes. “No talking, Doctor. Just enjoy this. Enjoy being with us, all right?”
“Yeah.” Jack was leaning over her shoulder now, tenderness and affection in his gaze. “Better do as she says, Doctor.” He closed the distance between them, pre-empting any reply.
Apologise. He needed to apologise to Jack, too, tell him how sorry he was. He needed to… he… oh, this was good. Better than good. Different from the way Rose’s body fitted against his, all soft and curvy and tantalising, but just as arousing. The Captain was all strength and hard muscles.
He wrapped his arms around Jack, and they fell back onto the mattress in a tangle of limbs. Hands wandered and squeezed, teeth nipped, and physical contact roused instincts he’d been trying to forget. His Time Lord guts were kicking in, waking a dull ache in the pit of his stomach. Fixed point. Fact. Wrong. Jack was wrong. Time flew around him and he never moved.
Rose didn’t mind. Rose couldn’t see that. All she saw was the good man, the friend, the really hot bloke, she would say. She loved him. The Doctor’s hold on the Captain tightened, and his moves grew more frantic.
This was Jack. Jack, who’d dropped Torchwood and Cardiff without a second thought, just to be with him.
He deepened the kiss, framing his lover’s face, and his fingers brushed a caress down Jack’s cheek. The Captain pulled away, a frown marring his forehead. His eyes were wide with a mixture of lust and surprise, as if he hadn’t expected the Doctor to care about him beyond one brief moment of passion.
“Oh, Jack, I’m…” Lips covered his, swallowing the end of his sentence.
Sorry.
He poured his remorse into their kiss, tightening his embrace around Jack in a desperate attempt to make up for the pain he’d caused.
There was a low, needy moan behind him and a hand fluttering against his back. He broke the kiss and shifted his attention to Rose. She was lying on her side, her pupils dilated with need, her body so close to his that he could feel the heat of her skin. As he looked at her, she chewed on her lower lip, and her gaze flickered between him and Jack.
“You know, Doctor,” Jack said with a wink. “Until you came along, no-one sharing my bed could’ve complained about feeling neglected.”
He rolled his eyes. “Oh, please forgive me for being so distracting! You’ve been ignoring Rose and all you’re worrying about is your track record?”
“You two don’t need to argue,” Rose said, rising to her knees to plant a quick kiss on his lips, then Jack’s. “I’m enjoying the view.”
“Watching is nice, but…” Jack moved to her open arms and trailed his mouth along her collarbone. “Taking part is more fun, don’t you think?”
He rolled onto his back and pushed Rose between the Doctor and himself. “Doctor,” he said over her shoulder, keeping a hand secured around her waist. “I think Rose needs your attention.”
Immediately, the Doctor leaned over to kiss her, but as her lips yielded under his and her skin trembled under his touch, he felt the other man’s arm withdraw from its possessive hold on Rose.
Jack was doing it again. He was retreating to the background, as if Rose and himself belonged together and the Captain was nothing more than a third wheel in this relationship, someone they liked but didn’t love.
It was time to prove him wrong. Show him that he belonged.
The Doctor pulled away.
“It’s like you said, Captain.” Keeping his eyes fixed on Jack, he brushed his lips against Rose’s and, wrapping an arm around her back, drew her leg over his thigh. “Taking part is more fun.”
***
Jack blinked and stared at his friend, wondering if he understood the Time Lord correctly. In his previous guise, the Doctor had always been very possessive about Rose. He’d exuded a hands-off attitude that had left Jack with no doubt that Rose was out of bounds, no matter how attracted they were to each other.
The past few minutes, though, indicated that the new Doctor liked the idea of sharing his bed with more than just Rose Tyler. More than that, he’d encouraged Jack to kiss and touch her. Rose had seemed rather enthused with the concept as well.
But was the Doctor now implying that Jack should be the one pleasuring Rose? Was Rose even okay with that? Wouldn’t she rather have the Doctor, knowing this moment was probably her last chance to be with the man she loved before he dumped her back on Earth and disappeared?
“Jack…” she mumbled, the sound of her voice muffled against the Doctor’s chest. She rubbed her bottom against his pelvis, the friction sending another surge of desire shooting through him.
Reaching over Rose’s head, he kissed the Doctor’s lips. The touch was firm and brief, and when the Doctor opened his mouth under his, Jack withdrew, giving him a quick look of apology. Now was time to focus on Rose.
He hadn’t made love to a woman in decades. Not that he hadn’t wanted to. Working ungodly hours for Torchwood and hiding away when people got too close had given him more occasions with men. Quickies with soldiers and undefined relationships with colleagues matted his life these days. Miles from having sex with someone he loved. Miles from making love to Rose Tyler.
The Doctor gave him an encouraging nod and, whispering Rose’s name, Jack slid into her. Her hand groped for the Doctor’s arm, seeking support, and her knuckles turned white with tension. Jack froze, waiting for her to adjust to the feel of him inside her. She was warm and tight around him, and he laid his hand against her abdomen, feeling her muscles spasm under his touch.
Nuzzling her neck, he pressed his body against her back. When she shifted against him, he started thrusting into her, deeply and unhurriedly. Sweeping damp strands of hair off her nape, he kissed the back of her neck, catching droplets of perspiration on his tongue. Her moans of approval drowned in the kiss that the Doctor pushed against her lips.
Jack smoothed his hand over her hip, reaching down her thigh until his fingers met the Doctor’s. Withdrawing from Rose’s mouth, the Doctor stared at him, his eyes full of affection for both his partners.
Fingers entwined and, a small smile playing about his lips, the Doctor guided their joined hands between Rose’s legs. Her gasp of pleasure was all the encouragement they needed. Together, they rubbed their fingers against her, matching the rhythm of Jack’s thrusts until Rose was whimpering her pleasure, her head falling forward against the Doctor’s chest. Jack fell along with her and, his fingers still trapped under the Doctor’s hand, he lost control, reaching his own climax with a groan.
His heart thudding against Rose’s back, he kept his arm wrapped around her and the Doctor, wishing this moment would last, but knowing that their time together was up.
This was the goodbye that the Doctor had granted them. Intense, powerful, mind-blowing, and fulfilling the need that Jack had felt for both his friends ever since he’d first met them, but leaving an even bigger hole in his heart than when making love to them had been nothing more than a fantasy.
How long until the Doctor pulled away from the tender touches and kisses they were sharing now? How long until he stood, grabbed his clothes, left the room, and made the TARDIS materialise in the Hub, breaking Rose’s heart in the process, and leaving Jack with the job of comforting her while pretending his own heart wasn’t broken too?
The Doctor wouldn’t come back. He might claim that he’d visit now and again, maybe to soothe Rose, make her believe that he wasn’t a heartless bastard, but Jack knew better. Once the TARDIS disappeared, they wouldn’t see the Doctor again.
Lifting his head, he watched Rose press herself against the Doctor, saw him tuck her head under his chin, his hand brushing over her hair, his lips grazing her forehead. He loved her. His duplicate had said so, and both half-human and Time Lord had shared the same memories and emotions.
Those two loved each other as much as Jack loved them both, and while it tore at his heart to think that he’d soon be back in the emptiness of his linear life, he couldn’t let the Doctor give up on the one person who kept him grounded to humanity.
“I suppose it’s time,” he said, breaking the silence that had settled between them.
The Doctor’s hand stilled against Rose’s neck. “Time for what?”
“Well, you’re taking us back to Cardiff, aren’t you?” he replied, trying to keep the bitterness out of his tone. “Just do me a favour, Doctor. Wake up. Wake up and see what’s in front of you. You need Rose as much as she needs you. Don’t leave her stranded on Earth with me. Keep her with you.”
***
Chapter 10: Neglect and Negotiation