(Untitled)

[kadykins]

mmhmm i have never wanted something so bad right now.. to know that i cant have it makes me want it even more..and to know that people don't want me to have makes me long for it... just the touch the sound the smell of it is what i need! ive never been so miserable today with going without it...... nothing has made me blush, smile, have butterflies

Comments

[igotskill]

I want to forgive you so bad but I really opened myself up to you like that night that i told you i liked you, that's seems like such a simple thing to say but im terrible at expressing the way i feel and i have a very low selfimage of myself so somehow i always think that im gonna screw everything up anyway that took alot of courage for me to say and then for you to lie to me and not talk to me for a month knowing that i liked you was such a bitchy thing to do.(You have no idea how miserable i was for that month, i couldn't figure out why you were mad at me, i called you like everyday for that month and i think you picked up once, that hurt so much thinking that you didn't want to talk to me. And like i told you for that month i was so lonely and had the most time that i've ever had to think, and all i could think about was you). I know that you dont understand what i mean because you aparently have no problem expressing the way you feel( no matter who it hurts), but everyword i said to you i had thought a million times about saying it and how you would react to it, some times i would even go so far as to write what i wanted to say to you onto a piece of paper before I talked to you on the phone( seriosly), because i wanted to say all the perfect things to you and somehow i felt i would always screw it up. Also unlike you when you get your heart broken you have an amazing group of friends that everyone envy's to make you feel better about yourself, me on the other hand i have noone , noone to talk to, and for that matter noone that wants to here it. Thats why i've been calling Lauren so much because i just want someone to talk to. You have no idea how alone i feel, today i remembered why i hate school so much, i have noone to sit with in the mornings and noone to eat lunch with, lifes a bitch it's yet to award me with anything. I really want to be friends with you but I can't help thinking that i'll just want to be more than friends and i don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I know that you don't like me anymore and that you don't want me to like you anymore but i cant control my emotions( i really wish i could). I dont understand how after yoove hurt me so bad i still have feelings for you .It sounds stupid but i see everyone that i know with there girlfriends and boyfriends and i guess im just trying to find someone who likes me