oh how badly i wish to tell you.........
if only you knew how much you are like the rest of them! sometimes i get really angry at you for not seeing it for yourself. you only go around and accuse them of the same things you're doing. they dont know how they're affecting the world and neither do you! you're all a bunch of blind fools! we all are! it's just a lack of simplicity and the desire for drama. it really just fuckin pisses me off how we cant just say what we mean! some ppl actually make it that easy...but not the ones i want. *hearts are broken from words unspoken* Had i not sat in silence those hundred times, i never would've lost him. if i could've just told him how i felt........i would give up this entire past year to find out. but he's not even the reason i'm so upset right now. i cant exactly tell anyone why i'm so frustrated...and that's ironic b/c it's the reason i'm so pissed off in the first place...ppl cant just say what they mean!...at least when it's most important. i've had enough of this bullshit. i just wish i could get it out of my life. but i might as well keep dreamin...or stop i suppose b/c it'll never be that way. there's a thousand things i could say to you right now that would probably hurt you but i wouldnt expect them to b/c i dont really think you care about me that much. i know, however, there's one thing i'm dying to tell u today, i'm sure it would make u feel better than u do now. but i wont say it b/c i'm scared of what might happen after that moment. how worthy would u feel if i told you just how much i'm sacrificing for you? that i've dedicated this portion of my life to you. but you dont even know it. no one does really. i dont know why b/c either way, it doesnt make me feel any better. you worry me, but u give me strength. your insults encourage me. the tears that fall for you make me feel a strange sense of success. and all the energy i put into our relationship makes me feel so weak, but i love when i feel that pain..........