Written Jan 7th 2005 on my blog on myspace....
Hmm...this week has been very interesting. I've been so tired and i just have no energy whatsoever!! It's nice to be back at school with my friends, but it's now hitting me that we only have 2 weeks until the first semester is over. Which means schools getting out soon, which means graduation. Don't get me wrong, I want to be out of school and west linn and have my own life and meet new people and basically start over. It's just that today when i was in teacher aide, Dr.Harris was talking about college to the kids and i just felt like bursting into tears. I was just thinking about everyone that i was going to miss. I mean in high school, they basically put you in a little bubble and its like once youve finally got situated, they pop it and tell you to make your own. To me, this year has been a landmark year for me, I've made friend with people that I didn't think would ever like me and I've made friends with new people that i just always saw. I've gotten a job and I'm driving(sorta). I'm more outgoing and I've changed physically and personality wise. I'm slowly getting over my stupid insecurites and going to school with no makeup on, im not worrying over my weight as much. To me, this is a huge change.
But back to the school subject, I was talking to Joe during 4ht per yesterday and we both were just thinking about it. I've got a lot of friends at school and im very social, but how many of these people do I hang out with outside of school? Not very many. I guess it's a good thing in a way, but still. I'm going to miss so many people. Joe said that in high school, they basically make up your day and your schedule, but once youre on your own you do your own work and make up your schedule. It's so friggen true. I would have no life if it wasn't for school. lol, it's prolly a loser thing to say, but oh well...its the truth. I've grown to love where i am. I went through hell and back to get here, and people hurting me along the way, but I've become so much stronger because of that. It's juat sad to see it all go away soon.
Winter Ball is tomorrow and I dont have a dress. ha ha, it was a last min thing. I wasnt going to go, but my friend Jon asked me on Wed. because he felt i should go considering its my senior year. That was a really sweet thing to do. So now we threw these plans together and since I've got work tonight, im getting up at 9:30 tomorrow and going stright to the mall to get a dress and acessories and shoes and my makeup done, then going to Emily's house to do my hair. Tomorrow is going to be insane. I'm really excited. I hope winter ball will be a lot of fun because then that sets the mood for PROM!! WOOPWOOP!!
Okay this is a super long entry, but i've had a lot on my mind. goodness! im excited. I think im going to start putting my poetry in here. Ive got it in a notebook currently on my floor(which ive got to clean up my room tonight...ugh) . By the way, i really hope that I get paid tonight because i worked a buttload over break and i want my denero!! I need my denero, i need to check my bank accoount to see if i have any denero!! blahh!!
But back to the school subject, I was talking to Joe during 4ht per yesterday and we both were just thinking about it. I've got a lot of friends at school and im very social, but how many of these people do I hang out with outside of school? Not very many. I guess it's a good thing in a way, but still. I'm going to miss so many people. Joe said that in high school, they basically make up your day and your schedule, but once youre on your own you do your own work and make up your schedule. It's so friggen true. I would have no life if it wasn't for school. lol, it's prolly a loser thing to say, but oh well...its the truth. I've grown to love where i am. I went through hell and back to get here, and people hurting me along the way, but I've become so much stronger because of that. It's juat sad to see it all go away soon.
Winter Ball is tomorrow and I dont have a dress. ha ha, it was a last min thing. I wasnt going to go, but my friend Jon asked me on Wed. because he felt i should go considering its my senior year. That was a really sweet thing to do. So now we threw these plans together and since I've got work tonight, im getting up at 9:30 tomorrow and going stright to the mall to get a dress and acessories and shoes and my makeup done, then going to Emily's house to do my hair. Tomorrow is going to be insane. I'm really excited. I hope winter ball will be a lot of fun because then that sets the mood for PROM!! WOOPWOOP!!
Okay this is a super long entry, but i've had a lot on my mind. goodness! im excited. I think im going to start putting my poetry in here. Ive got it in a notebook currently on my floor(which ive got to clean up my room tonight...ugh) . By the way, i really hope that I get paid tonight because i worked a buttload over break and i want my denero!! I need my denero, i need to check my bank accoount to see if i have any denero!! blahh!!