A day for memories
Well its the leap year day and for me that means reliving a terrible day in my life.
8 years ago today I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy & had emergency life-saving surgery. Obviously it was successful because I'm writing this but I did actual 'die' on the operating table & had a near death out of body experience which was, at the time, very freaky but which now has given me a different outlook.
After battling depression for the last 6+ months is does me good to look back at that time & remember what it taught me. I learned not to take life for granted, I learned that bad things happen to good people so you've just got to suck it up, I learned to let my emotions out instead of holding them in (something I should have remembered a few months ago instead of trying to push through the depression) and most of all I knew that I'd been given a second chance and learnt to not let day to day shit get me down. Somehow over the last year or so I forgot a lot of those lessons so its time to once again move forward.
I mourn the child that was never meant to be but celebrate the child I have who brings more joy into my life than I could ever have imagined. He's my boy but more importantly he's my best friend too.
Here he is with his two favourite guys in the world (Daddy comes in a poor 3rd or maybe even 4th behind Riley Smith!)
And now its time to move on from all the shit that's been going on in my head for the last few months, it's time to embrace the feelings that I had 8 years ago of being grateful to be alive, of being given a second chance to do something good for me and for others. Sure the depression is still there and always will be but I need to focus on the good and not the bad now.
In the words of Scarlett O'Hara (and yes I watched Gone with the Wind the other day) 'Tomorrow is another day' & for me tomorrow marks the start of the rest of my life
8 years ago today I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy & had emergency life-saving surgery. Obviously it was successful because I'm writing this but I did actual 'die' on the operating table & had a near death out of body experience which was, at the time, very freaky but which now has given me a different outlook.
After battling depression for the last 6+ months is does me good to look back at that time & remember what it taught me. I learned not to take life for granted, I learned that bad things happen to good people so you've just got to suck it up, I learned to let my emotions out instead of holding them in (something I should have remembered a few months ago instead of trying to push through the depression) and most of all I knew that I'd been given a second chance and learnt to not let day to day shit get me down. Somehow over the last year or so I forgot a lot of those lessons so its time to once again move forward.
I mourn the child that was never meant to be but celebrate the child I have who brings more joy into my life than I could ever have imagined. He's my boy but more importantly he's my best friend too.
Here he is with his two favourite guys in the world (Daddy comes in a poor 3rd or maybe even 4th behind Riley Smith!)
And now its time to move on from all the shit that's been going on in my head for the last few months, it's time to embrace the feelings that I had 8 years ago of being grateful to be alive, of being given a second chance to do something good for me and for others. Sure the depression is still there and always will be but I need to focus on the good and not the bad now.
In the words of Scarlett O'Hara (and yes I watched Gone with the Wind the other day) 'Tomorrow is another day' & for me tomorrow marks the start of the rest of my life