Lather, Rinse...Repeat?
NOTE: I am all caught up. No more spamming the air - (Computer?) waves. Yaay! lol
I am....feeling the tug again.
Not the 'relationship' tug...thankfully things are good on this front.
It's the whisper. The "Go do something productive. Step away. Start over" that creeps up
on me; lays its head on my shoulder..makes it all seem so safe..feasable.
And I suppose it really is. I should have done it all along...I don't know what stops me.
Oh, yes I do.
Men.
I didn't want to go to college out of the area....Mr. Please Everybody.
I went to Boise...and left because of...Golf Guy.
I convinced myself I could be happy without moving anywhere because of...Jackass.
I whole-heartedly started, then conveniently tossed aside my Americorp app because of....Husband.
Is that what's still making me hesitant now?
I can't REALLY blame them. I mean, it's always my final decision. And none of them intentionally stopped me from doing anything.
So is it sad to say that now that I am married (which is suppose to be about compromise and sacrifice), I am finally ready to put my foot down and say "NOW"?
And that the argument (if there IS one) is worth the fight because Husband is pretty much stuck with me?
He wants to get out of here too..but if he sticks to school here, it will be another 3 years.
I'm not sure I can wait that long.
It's easy to get into the rut (look at the last six, SIX! years).
I don't want me life to forever ever be Lather, Rinse, Repeat.
All this being said, I completed my app for Americorp's HIV/AIDS Foundation program. With, you guessed it, Tulsa as my number 1 destination choice.
Apparently I won't hear anything back for up to 8 weeks. =/
Crossing my fingers, though.
I am....feeling the tug again.
Not the 'relationship' tug...thankfully things are good on this front.
It's the whisper. The "Go do something productive. Step away. Start over" that creeps up
on me; lays its head on my shoulder..makes it all seem so safe..feasable.
And I suppose it really is. I should have done it all along...I don't know what stops me.
Oh, yes I do.
Men.
I didn't want to go to college out of the area....Mr. Please Everybody.
I went to Boise...and left because of...Golf Guy.
I convinced myself I could be happy without moving anywhere because of...Jackass.
I whole-heartedly started, then conveniently tossed aside my Americorp app because of....Husband.
Is that what's still making me hesitant now?
I can't REALLY blame them. I mean, it's always my final decision. And none of them intentionally stopped me from doing anything.
So is it sad to say that now that I am married (which is suppose to be about compromise and sacrifice), I am finally ready to put my foot down and say "NOW"?
And that the argument (if there IS one) is worth the fight because Husband is pretty much stuck with me?
He wants to get out of here too..but if he sticks to school here, it will be another 3 years.
I'm not sure I can wait that long.
It's easy to get into the rut (look at the last six, SIX! years).
I don't want me life to forever ever be Lather, Rinse, Repeat.
All this being said, I completed my app for Americorp's HIV/AIDS Foundation program. With, you guessed it, Tulsa as my number 1 destination choice.
Apparently I won't hear anything back for up to 8 weeks. =/
Crossing my fingers, though.