(no subject)
We wrapped up the night eating and talking at Little Chef. I didn't see anyone I knew this time, and our conversations continued to be about tv and movies. We've seen a hell of a lot of the same stuff!
When we got to the part at the door, I had not been thinking about my answer. He said he wanted to do it again, and I looked at the floor, thinking. Instead of doing the nice thing and saying sure, let's date again. I got scared and said "I don't know."
I felt the same kind of dread that I felt when I was with that one girl I dated back in high school (for some reason I can't recall her name to save my life) where she liked me and I didn't like her. I tried, I opened my heart, but there wasn't anything there. I felt trapped. I didn't want her to feel bad, and why did I feel nothing? What's WRONG WITH ME?!
I didn't feel a spark tonight, and I wasn't sure if a second was supposed to mean that I did. Would he be calling me soon to do it again? Too soon? I just got nervous. I KNOW that attraction can build up, and I need to have faith in that. But I don't know, I just don't think so with Michael.
Now I worry if I've lost a friend. Can I still send him stuff on myspace like usual? Must I avoid him at Necto?
I wrote him a message apoligizing and trying to explain. I got no response, and I don't feel I have to do another date so I should be happy right? WRONG. Because I am Katie, emotional sponge who feels all and everyone's hurt and I'm afraid I hurt him. Ironic since I thought a second date might be worse for him. Maybe.
I hope I can get someone to check on him tommarrow at Necto, it was such a fun date and I had a great time, I don't want to think of this memory in a bad way.
When we got to the part at the door, I had not been thinking about my answer. He said he wanted to do it again, and I looked at the floor, thinking. Instead of doing the nice thing and saying sure, let's date again. I got scared and said "I don't know."
I felt the same kind of dread that I felt when I was with that one girl I dated back in high school (for some reason I can't recall her name to save my life) where she liked me and I didn't like her. I tried, I opened my heart, but there wasn't anything there. I felt trapped. I didn't want her to feel bad, and why did I feel nothing? What's WRONG WITH ME?!
I didn't feel a spark tonight, and I wasn't sure if a second was supposed to mean that I did. Would he be calling me soon to do it again? Too soon? I just got nervous. I KNOW that attraction can build up, and I need to have faith in that. But I don't know, I just don't think so with Michael.
Now I worry if I've lost a friend. Can I still send him stuff on myspace like usual? Must I avoid him at Necto?
I wrote him a message apoligizing and trying to explain. I got no response, and I don't feel I have to do another date so I should be happy right? WRONG. Because I am Katie, emotional sponge who feels all and everyone's hurt and I'm afraid I hurt him. Ironic since I thought a second date might be worse for him. Maybe.
I hope I can get someone to check on him tommarrow at Necto, it was such a fun date and I had a great time, I don't want to think of this memory in a bad way.