"That thought just gives me a crushing pain in my chest that I just need to hug myself tight"...this made me think of my dental floss holding Justin's heart as he gathers the strength to let Brian go, fearing that he is no more than a blimp on his radar.
Justin realization of his feelings and trying to make sense of Brian's is very painful. I believe that Justin in his heart knows that he is more than sex to Brian but it is easier for him to let go thinking that he is nothing. Otherwise he continues to hold on to hope for more from Brian, a future, a future that he is fearful just got shorter. I know that Justin loves Brian, only wants Brian, healthy or not. His first and last thought, always Brian. I can feel his loneliness even as he is surrounded by others, even as he is with another. He really needs to be true to Jon and let him go. He cannot love one when your heart already belongs to another. And when Justin said good-bye to Brian, he did not take back his heart.
I am looking forward to Brian's POV. He has a reason to come back to the loft. After all he never got his stuff. Plus it is his home. Just curious, does he embrace losing something or does he lash out at it?
You have my emotions all stirred up and hanging on to hope. Brian never believed in hope. I am hoping that I can.
Hugs, Kate
Still sick, needing rest but loving your story. Thanks for asking!
He's going to need a lot of dental floss, isn't he? Especially with the double-whammy of having cancer and breaking up with Brian. I agree that he knows in his heart that what he had with Brian was more than sex, but maybe he thinks that compared to how he feels about Brian, it's really not much at all. And that can be just as painful as if Brian didn't have any feelings for him.
Thank you, Kate. And a big HUG to you, hoping that you'll be back of full strength soon. ♥
Justin realization of his feelings and trying to make sense of Brian's is very painful. I believe that Justin in his heart knows that he is more than sex to Brian but it is easier for him to let go thinking that he is nothing. Otherwise he continues to hold on to hope for more from Brian, a future, a future that he is fearful just got shorter. I know that Justin loves Brian, only wants Brian, healthy or not. His first and last thought, always Brian. I can feel his loneliness even as he is surrounded by others, even as he is with another. He really needs to be true to Jon and let him go. He cannot love one when your heart already belongs to another. And when Justin said good-bye to Brian, he did not take back his heart.
I am looking forward to Brian's POV. He has a reason to come back to the loft. After all he never got his stuff. Plus it is his home. Just curious, does he embrace losing something or does he lash out at it?
You have my emotions all stirred up and hanging on to hope. Brian never believed in hope. I am hoping that I can.
Hugs,
Kate
Still sick, needing rest but loving your story. Thanks for asking!
Reply
Thank you, Kate. And a big HUG to you, hoping that you'll be back of full strength soon. ♥
Reply
Leave a comment