(no subject)

[kace_sira_sira]

i dont know.
i wonder what i deserve.
i think i deserve someone to want just me.
i wonder why its so hard for that to happen.
i wish things were simple.
im sick of caring about things.
sometimes i wonder why people bring me into their lives. again.
i wonder why my heart only wants one person.
why no matter what i end up feeling hurt.
why no one can just deal with how things are.
how when im happy its never good enough for you.
for anyone.
if im happy, then other people arent.
but when im not.. everybody else is on top of the world.
theres got to be some significance to these details.
and there are.
Jesus.
i think no one will understand that but me.
but whats new?
sometimes all i want is to know the absolute truth.
then i can deal with it.
im so sick of people trying to break me down.
bring me to the cold bottom.
its not going to happen.
believe me.
if i end up on my own.
i will be just wonderful.
because i know in the end im the one who did right.
i didnt betray you.
i didnt aim to destruct you.
i only tried to do justice.
apparently thats not enough.
and thats fine.
just let me know what you want.
and we will go on from there.
because i deserve more.