I'm wondering how common this is?

Feb 13, 2006 00:09

Billy falls asleep before me every night. Every night, I check to see if he's still alive. See that he's breathing, feel that he's moving.

Tonight as I lay my head on his chest, I felt his heart beat as I'd never felt it before. So strong. Like it knew I was feeling, listening.

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And once again, my thoughts go to Christmas Eve, and my heart breaks knowing how alone Billy was. It tears me up knowing that my family made him uncomfortable, that he was alone in the middle of nowhere, Texas and couldn't do a thing about it.

But as uncomfortable as he was around the Green family, my mom and stepdad made him feel more comfortable than he could have imagined. When he left, he was sad. The only thing that made leaving okay was that we were going to see his parents. It was bittersweet, saying goodbye to my mom at 4am, seeing the star-filled sky of West Texas for the last time in a long time. I'm so thankful that my parents (mom and stepdad) are such hospitable and genuine people. So thankful that he wants to go back!

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Here at the computer, I feel like I could fall asleep in my chair. But in bed, it's an impossible task.

can't sleep, christmas eve, billy

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