Still-Life in Vortex
Fun things you too could do in Spokane, WA!
1) Have your transmission die while you were on the highway trying to pass through the city.
2) Roll into the scenic parking lot of Dick's Hamburgers-By-The-Bagful to check your engine fluids, with the assistance of a helpful/drunken local, who expertly diagnoses your lack of windshield cleaner.
3) Hire a tow truck. (For added fun, nod politely while the driver relates to you the entire history of his most recent relationship with a terminally-ill internet babe.)
4) Discover that every mechanic shop in the city closed one hour before you arrived.
5) And that they won't open again until the following Monday.
6) Locate the nearest motel in your price range. Remain there for five days while your friendly Dodge dealership scours the country for the part your transmission needs replaced. (This part, meanwhile, is on national backorder.)
7) While you're waiting, distract yourself by checking out these local diversions!
...The World's One-and-Only Suction Goat!
...Numerous Spokane Transit Authority bus stations, home to the largest wasps you have ever seen outside the confine of nightmares!
...Your vacation-mate's painfully and inexplicably swollen feet!
8) Realize you have to be home in three days to start school and move into a new apartment.
9) Spend $150 on a Greyhound ticket.
10) Utilize the next 28 hours resisting the urge to strangle the shrieking children sitting in the seat behind you.
...
Another road trip accomplished.
1) Have your transmission die while you were on the highway trying to pass through the city.
2) Roll into the scenic parking lot of Dick's Hamburgers-By-The-Bagful to check your engine fluids, with the assistance of a helpful/drunken local, who expertly diagnoses your lack of windshield cleaner.
3) Hire a tow truck. (For added fun, nod politely while the driver relates to you the entire history of his most recent relationship with a terminally-ill internet babe.)
4) Discover that every mechanic shop in the city closed one hour before you arrived.
5) And that they won't open again until the following Monday.
6) Locate the nearest motel in your price range. Remain there for five days while your friendly Dodge dealership scours the country for the part your transmission needs replaced. (This part, meanwhile, is on national backorder.)
7) While you're waiting, distract yourself by checking out these local diversions!
...The World's One-and-Only Suction Goat!
...Numerous Spokane Transit Authority bus stations, home to the largest wasps you have ever seen outside the confine of nightmares!
...Your vacation-mate's painfully and inexplicably swollen feet!
8) Realize you have to be home in three days to start school and move into a new apartment.
9) Spend $150 on a Greyhound ticket.
10) Utilize the next 28 hours resisting the urge to strangle the shrieking children sitting in the seat behind you.
...
Another road trip accomplished.