cutz
well, my random strange luck, or lack there of keeps going
figured i was safer in my hole, how ever unhappy i was but
a few times as of late ive sliped up.
i guess its being picky or just being hard to please
but ive only talked to 3 woman who have made me feel sumthing
sumthing more then just well, its hard to explane
each one is difrent tho opening new things to my heart
even tho 1 is long gone, 1 i never even met, and the other
well... is around but not really heh *sigh*
im still alone tho, and even tho im kinda makeing new
friends and talken n being talked to by girls heh
that will never help me or give me what i need to at least
partly compleat my life. if only i had the time or money
to just take what i wanted and be who i really wanna be
but im makeing due with what i have and i guess its good
enough for people to want me, er atleast some.
grr, well aside from that good news i guess...
had some milf tell me sumthing about me that i couldnt
argue with. even knowing me for just 1 nite she still
saw it. i forget the context of it but "my own insecuritys"
is what she said. that and this other person really
reminded me just how fucked up i am in the head
its like my brain has a clot, or a tumer <~~ that be funnyer
and when things come at me and i cant deal with em or know
how to react, it sets off sumthing in side me and it almost
hurts, im guesing its the same feeling people who are scared of
hights feel if they are asked to walk to the edge of a tall building
all tho i dont feel like this about ne thing else other then
when those moments i have to let go and do things i havent done befor
or just dont think im good at. but the more i work at it...
tho calling it work is partly my problem the better i get
so, im going to ride this as long as it will let me and see how far
i can get. cuase befor this it was all dead ends and
this could be my last chance, for i really dont know how much time
i have left.
ne ways... as a side note, i can see u reply to these they just wont
show up to every one else so keep leaveing me them 341
back to the more grusome part of my life
finaly going to start looking for a 2nd job, i give up on being transfered
my car died friday, suppsed to get it back today hopefully i can aford to
fix it or else i got a long walk to work heh...
umm, its been years and i still dont ever sleep right. 6-9am is my
normal bed time, ragardless of what i do dureing teh day its really
geting anoying sence ive had to get up a lil earlyer then normal
cause ive had more of a life lately, take the good with the bad huh...
might add more later,
with all this stuff latey ive lost my creative edgyness and my mojo lol
figured i was safer in my hole, how ever unhappy i was but
a few times as of late ive sliped up.
i guess its being picky or just being hard to please
but ive only talked to 3 woman who have made me feel sumthing
sumthing more then just well, its hard to explane
each one is difrent tho opening new things to my heart
even tho 1 is long gone, 1 i never even met, and the other
well... is around but not really heh *sigh*
im still alone tho, and even tho im kinda makeing new
friends and talken n being talked to by girls heh
that will never help me or give me what i need to at least
partly compleat my life. if only i had the time or money
to just take what i wanted and be who i really wanna be
but im makeing due with what i have and i guess its good
enough for people to want me, er atleast some.
grr, well aside from that good news i guess...
had some milf tell me sumthing about me that i couldnt
argue with. even knowing me for just 1 nite she still
saw it. i forget the context of it but "my own insecuritys"
is what she said. that and this other person really
reminded me just how fucked up i am in the head
its like my brain has a clot, or a tumer <~~ that be funnyer
and when things come at me and i cant deal with em or know
how to react, it sets off sumthing in side me and it almost
hurts, im guesing its the same feeling people who are scared of
hights feel if they are asked to walk to the edge of a tall building
all tho i dont feel like this about ne thing else other then
when those moments i have to let go and do things i havent done befor
or just dont think im good at. but the more i work at it...
tho calling it work is partly my problem the better i get
so, im going to ride this as long as it will let me and see how far
i can get. cuase befor this it was all dead ends and
this could be my last chance, for i really dont know how much time
i have left.
ne ways... as a side note, i can see u reply to these they just wont
show up to every one else so keep leaveing me them 341
back to the more grusome part of my life
finaly going to start looking for a 2nd job, i give up on being transfered
my car died friday, suppsed to get it back today hopefully i can aford to
fix it or else i got a long walk to work heh...
umm, its been years and i still dont ever sleep right. 6-9am is my
normal bed time, ragardless of what i do dureing teh day its really
geting anoying sence ive had to get up a lil earlyer then normal
cause ive had more of a life lately, take the good with the bad huh...
might add more later,
with all this stuff latey ive lost my creative edgyness and my mojo lol