hard to see the tree trough the forest...
so things have changed, some for the better others just for the time being...
who knows what will happen or what it will matter
spent about a month or so working 70 hours a week, and i just cant do it with only makeing like 50 bucks for 10 hours hard labor work, so ill be down to 1job 30-40 hours a week , and ill find a 2nd day job thats ne thing really, so ill be able to slep at nite again and not be so sore lol
ne ways.. i know there are stages in dealing with pain n loss, but im some how back on denile even tho ive had to acpet it already, its odd haveing some one in my life who takes the cake as it where in lots of areas, but still isnt my party.. kinda thing
its nice tho to not have to worry about love, cuase i dont know how to talk about that subject with any one , but 1 person. sad that i have no friends, and even being kinad with some one , i still wont have em, as there all guys and meh.. thats no fun. that and the holiday time is comeing and i just cant face poeple with how my life is right now, dont know if ill ever be able to, about 8 months now, and the only easyer part is the fact i can work my self n destract my self to the point i feel nothing, but even then i feel empty, the void i have wont be filled again, i feel like theres a hole in my cup and no matter how much coke i pour in, its always going to drain out.
dont know what else to say.. im at a loss for how i feel or how things will turn out with ne one right now.
used to have all the time in the wrold to just sit home and have girls come over n w/e
now i work and everything else, doesnt matter, its weird.
but i miss the past, her.
ah wel.
fuck matt, his one mistake will ruin his life... end of story.
who knows what will happen or what it will matter
spent about a month or so working 70 hours a week, and i just cant do it with only makeing like 50 bucks for 10 hours hard labor work, so ill be down to 1job 30-40 hours a week , and ill find a 2nd day job thats ne thing really, so ill be able to slep at nite again and not be so sore lol
ne ways.. i know there are stages in dealing with pain n loss, but im some how back on denile even tho ive had to acpet it already, its odd haveing some one in my life who takes the cake as it where in lots of areas, but still isnt my party.. kinda thing
its nice tho to not have to worry about love, cuase i dont know how to talk about that subject with any one , but 1 person. sad that i have no friends, and even being kinad with some one , i still wont have em, as there all guys and meh.. thats no fun. that and the holiday time is comeing and i just cant face poeple with how my life is right now, dont know if ill ever be able to, about 8 months now, and the only easyer part is the fact i can work my self n destract my self to the point i feel nothing, but even then i feel empty, the void i have wont be filled again, i feel like theres a hole in my cup and no matter how much coke i pour in, its always going to drain out.
dont know what else to say.. im at a loss for how i feel or how things will turn out with ne one right now.
used to have all the time in the wrold to just sit home and have girls come over n w/e
now i work and everything else, doesnt matter, its weird.
but i miss the past, her.
ah wel.
fuck matt, his one mistake will ruin his life... end of story.