R.I.P Nana
A year ago tonite I got the phone call....the phone call that changed my life instantly. A year ago tonite I lost my best friend. A yer ago tonite, my Nana passed away.
I woke up this morning and forgot to breathe.
It's not like this is the first day I've spent without her...but it seems like today is a reminder that shes gone.
I HATE DEATH.
I hate losing people that mean the world to you. She was everything to me. She was 95 and we were as close as teenage girls. I would sleep over and she'd get up and make me cereal. We used to sit on her porch and play cards...we did everything together.
And it's times like THIS where I KNOW (in my mind) that there isn't a God. People say "praying" will make things happen. Well, I fucking PRAYED my Nana would make it until graduation and it looks like that wish fell about one year twenty three days too short. I understand that you can't make people live, when obviously, it is there time. But if there is a God, and he knew just how much this truly meant to me, to have my Nana there when I walked across stage, don't you think there was something he could have done? I think I've been pretty good during my lifetime so why not grant me this one wish? What's the point in praying when nothing comes from it? To me, it's a lost cause.
I want to go to the cemetary...but it's raining and I don't think I could sit there and not break down.
I wish I didn't wake up this morning.