(no subject)
hmm lots of shit going through my head...... Sometimes I wish i could be just a normal kid, why does it have to be so painfull just to get up and say "Hi" or even wave to someomone? Simple things like wispers put me on guard, praying to god that I wont get made fun of or put on the spot light..hmm ...I supose you could say im the outcast of the outcasts. Why is it so hard to mutter one word? Why do i have to be like this? Why cant things be the way they were when I was younger, why did all that shit have to happen to me?! Its like god is trying to make me suffer, trying to make the pain surpass what I can handle..... Mabye he gets off on putting people through mental pain *mental immage of god....* ew. No matter how hard I try I just cant get out there and say anything to anyone, even posting on the internet is hard. Its alot easier than irl though... hm.... Is amazing how different i am from the rest of the world when i look at "normal" people or even "freaks" "goths"..ect. At least they have friends.. the scum on the bottom of my shoe has more friends than I do its kind of hard having just about no human interaction asdie from my family and mabye my sisters friends once in a while. Its hard to think that when I was younger I had the curage to say "I want to be on TV" but now, I could NEVER even think about saying that....grr.. Also im tired of my father always drinking. He comes home from work and gets shit faced... he wakes up on the weekends and gets hammered.. Im surprided he can still move with the small number of brain cells he must have...He is always promiseing me that he will stop drinking all the time yet he goes out and gets vodca EVERY NIGHT. If drinking isant bad enough breaking promises, lieing.... he has become something awfull, when i was little the only reason I hung around was my dad but lately its givin me a reason to leave.. run away somewhere.. my family is so fucked up I cant even begin to find a way to stop all this shit. Mom is also pissing me off.. she has some fucked up shit in her back and she think that takeing insane amounts of vicoden will help it.. im talking 100 pills a day.. why isant she dead?
They have been talking way to much about this Terry Shivo shit. People die, get murdered, starve to death, tourchered to death every fucking day so what makes this bitch so special? Aside from hearing about her WAY TO FUCKING MUCH, the legal system are fucking ignorant bastards who need to be hung for all to see.
Anyone notice the big tsunami right after x-mass day and the earthquake day after easter? Yes, odd aint it? The self centred people in the wold that only think about whats in thair wallet are fucking us all over....
jeasus christ stop the god damn immagrants from comming in I sware to god is I here la-fucking-taco or any other language sides english im going to blow the fucking cuntry up.. grr >.>
Thats enough for now... WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM!
To meany god damn spelling errors to correct.. fuck it
They have been talking way to much about this Terry Shivo shit. People die, get murdered, starve to death, tourchered to death every fucking day so what makes this bitch so special? Aside from hearing about her WAY TO FUCKING MUCH, the legal system are fucking ignorant bastards who need to be hung for all to see.
Anyone notice the big tsunami right after x-mass day and the earthquake day after easter? Yes, odd aint it? The self centred people in the wold that only think about whats in thair wallet are fucking us all over....
jeasus christ stop the god damn immagrants from comming in I sware to god is I here la-fucking-taco or any other language sides english im going to blow the fucking cuntry up.. grr >.>
Thats enough for now... WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM!
To meany god damn spelling errors to correct.. fuck it