(no subject)
Today was utterly gorgeous. SPRING! So, I’m going to Florida in a couple weeks, so I thought I would start sitting outside a bit to prevent myself from getting burnt the first day home and then having to cry into a jar of Noxema the rest of the time I’m there.
So, I told y’all about the neighbor who planted the fairy ring of tulips in the yard and then put a concrete cinderblock on it and sat a cement lion on that, right? RIGHT? Well, today she was laying outside inside the ring (it’s that large, we both could have easily laid in it) on an ice pack because she’s thrown her neck out.
Me: You hurt your neck, huh? Sucks.
Her: Yeah, happens all the time, time throw it out.
Me: I have thing with my back, feel ya.
Both of us: yadda for a bit
Her: And my mom told me that cranberry juice brings out the natural red in your hair.
Me: If you drink it or spray it on? - (aside: it is important to ASK AND ENGAGE with people like this, because you NEVER KNOW!)
Her: Spray it on, see? (she produced a spray bottle and sprays her hair.)
Me: Like lemon juice for lightening, huh? (inside: what? Sticky hair, omg omg, what? This makes not sense! What? Maybe rub blueberries on to bring out the natural purple!)
Her: Yeah, just like that!
I was only treated to a fifteen minute dissertation on reiki after that and NOT anything about crystals, which is a change. I am impressed with her ability to soldier on with her hippy ways in the face of my cynical bitchery when confronted with “alternative healing”.
You can preorder my new book on Amazon now. It’s called “Falling Upwards” or you can just search my name, Kassandra Sims. I would give a direct link, but I am unhappy about the review and going to flounce off and cry.
So, I told y’all about the neighbor who planted the fairy ring of tulips in the yard and then put a concrete cinderblock on it and sat a cement lion on that, right? RIGHT? Well, today she was laying outside inside the ring (it’s that large, we both could have easily laid in it) on an ice pack because she’s thrown her neck out.
Me: You hurt your neck, huh? Sucks.
Her: Yeah, happens all the time, time throw it out.
Me: I have thing with my back, feel ya.
Both of us: yadda for a bit
Her: And my mom told me that cranberry juice brings out the natural red in your hair.
Me: If you drink it or spray it on? - (aside: it is important to ASK AND ENGAGE with people like this, because you NEVER KNOW!)
Her: Spray it on, see? (she produced a spray bottle and sprays her hair.)
Me: Like lemon juice for lightening, huh? (inside: what? Sticky hair, omg omg, what? This makes not sense! What? Maybe rub blueberries on to bring out the natural purple!)
Her: Yeah, just like that!
I was only treated to a fifteen minute dissertation on reiki after that and NOT anything about crystals, which is a change. I am impressed with her ability to soldier on with her hippy ways in the face of my cynical bitchery when confronted with “alternative healing”.
You can preorder my new book on Amazon now. It’s called “Falling Upwards” or you can just search my name, Kassandra Sims. I would give a direct link, but I am unhappy about the review and going to flounce off and cry.