Aaaannnd, yeah
the lump hasnt gotten smaller. Its only gotten worse in fact. I've never been more scared. Everyone is telling me its nothing, and that I shouldnt be scared. "Dont think about it" they say. Yeah, easy for you, you arent the one who has to deal with it. It makes me cry every time I think or even talk about it. I know I will find out what the deal is soon, but honestly, let me be scared that I may have to face breast cancer. That I might be facing something you have never dealt with, or ever will have to deal with. Let me be worried I may have to have work less hours, be constantly under radiation and be sick from the affects. Let me talk about my fears in fact, and not brush me aside or say "that sucks" and change subjects like its just another story. Let me know you care, listen to me and give me some encouragement or support. You know this is not the way I wanted or expected to start 09. I thought I had gotten past this feeling alone thing, but I guess not. It just goes to show your true friends. How one sided things can really be. I suppose again I should thank you for opening my eyes, but really I am just sad you are so willing to throw me away for something so small, and of which you know has no validity. I have and always will love, respect and be here for you. I wish I had people surrounding me that felt the same. 09, I will still kick your ass.