It's getting cold.
First of all, I wish I was dating someone (ONLY BECAUSE) I'm really fucking cold at night, and two bodies are warmer than one. Maybe it just means I should plug in my damn space heater. Yeah, yeah, alright guys.
I've just spent a good portion of my evening listening to Pandora, reading your entries and eating breakfast at the Horseshoe (only after a conversation with a new cook at the Shoe do I venture to eat anything other than shitty fried food after a night of intoxication). I've been spending this last week with Julia, and I feel connected with her in a way I haven't in months; the way you feel after a really moving conversation with your Mom, you know, the ones where you forget that she's your mother and finally understand what they all say about how fuckinggreat mothers are. I haven't felt that with my mother in months. Seeing my sister so often still doesn't make me feel much better about this town. She's so Seattle. I know now, after a drunken conversation with her, that I'd never fit in the way I want to in Seattle. I learned a lot growing up there, and it helped shaped the decisions I make now, but I'd never feel right there. Seattle's like an good ex-girlfriend; all I have is fond memories, but going back would cause more destruction than anything else.
Speaking of destructive ex-girlfriends: I'm going to pick up the last of my things from Roberts house tomorrow morning before heading over to Linda's to help her cater a wedding at Honeymoon. All week I've been coming up with monologues of all the things I wish I was mean enough to say to him. And instead of making me feel better, it just makes me feel like a fool. A big ol' Fool.
Also, I'm a little bitter.
I've just spent a good portion of my evening listening to Pandora, reading your entries and eating breakfast at the Horseshoe (only after a conversation with a new cook at the Shoe do I venture to eat anything other than shitty fried food after a night of intoxication). I've been spending this last week with Julia, and I feel connected with her in a way I haven't in months; the way you feel after a really moving conversation with your Mom, you know, the ones where you forget that she's your mother and finally understand what they all say about how fuckinggreat mothers are. I haven't felt that with my mother in months. Seeing my sister so often still doesn't make me feel much better about this town. She's so Seattle. I know now, after a drunken conversation with her, that I'd never fit in the way I want to in Seattle. I learned a lot growing up there, and it helped shaped the decisions I make now, but I'd never feel right there. Seattle's like an good ex-girlfriend; all I have is fond memories, but going back would cause more destruction than anything else.
Speaking of destructive ex-girlfriends: I'm going to pick up the last of my things from Roberts house tomorrow morning before heading over to Linda's to help her cater a wedding at Honeymoon. All week I've been coming up with monologues of all the things I wish I was mean enough to say to him. And instead of making me feel better, it just makes me feel like a fool. A big ol' Fool.
Also, I'm a little bitter.