(Untitled)

[k_pop4life]

Title: The Sound of a Heartbeat

Pairing: Jongkey. Vampire!AU

Rating: R

Words: 1,300+

Summary: The night brings with her mysterious creatures that lurk in the dark.

Comments

[darkanoir]

Hi! :)
First of all, I want to apologize in advance 'cause my comment is gonna be pretty pointless and lame and I'm sorry for this^^"
But still, I really wanted to let you know that this was quite a pleasant reading for me. Maybe it wasn't the best vampire story I've ever read, I'll be honest, but I couldn't help but like it (maybe even love it) a lot for several reasons: first of all for the creepy atmosphere; it could be considered a bit cliché, but I love the classical vampire atmosphere, with a persuasive and coercive vampire and a totally enraptured victim. Tbh I'd like for more people to describe the vampire world in this way. Other, more original vampire AUs are nice, but still I think they should value more this creepy and eery atmosphere.
The second reason because I think that you described Jonghyun in a perfect way: always talking about the classical vampire image, Jonghyun was well developed in this little shot.
Last, but not least, I liked how in the end said vampire utters that very enigmatic sentence. When he talks with Kibum he casually states that the boy had caught his attention (which makes you think that he had just saw him and followed him on the whim of the moment). But in the end he says that he has waited a long time for Kibum to notice him, and so I, as a reader, can't help but wonder about it. For how long had Jonghyun been following? What had happened in all that time? These unknown events fired up my imagination and made me appreciate this whole story even more.
It would be awesome if you'd write a sequel or something :)
(even if it's not necessarily needed)
Well...in the end, congratulations for this story ;)

[k_pop4life]

wow! i seriously sat in front of my computer for a while not knowing how to reply to this. Your comment is not pointless or lame at all. In fact, i really appreciate it. Thank you for the honesty, i know this is not even close to being a good story because I am only starting to get into writing as a hobby and I don't do it often enough to develop more skills. I also need to write what it's on my mind at the same sitting otherwise i'll lose motivation to finish it which might explain why a lot of what i write is short.

Anyhow, I am really glad you enjoyed it and that it gave you that impression because I wanted it to feel creepy and I wanted jonghyun to take advantage of Key's emotional vulnerability. I am actually really happy to hear that I did a good job at developing jonghyun's image because i feel like one of the things that i lack when i write are descriptions and details.

I will seriously think about adding more to the story but like i keep mentioning to other people, i can't promise anything as of now. my classes keep demanding all of my attention!

Thank you for thanking the time to comment, it means a lot to get some feedback on what I'm writing. Have a great week ♥

[darkanoir]

I'm glad you appreciated the comment and don't worry, it was a pleasure to leave you one :)
Btw, you misunderstood me! I said this isn't the best vampire story out there, but this doesn't mean "it isn't anywhere near good". Don't think so low of this shot of yours, as I've said, it was really nice and it was also full of potential if developed just a tad more^^

Btw, I can fully understand that writing a sequel isn't simple, 'cause finding time isn't always that easy and also because inspiration can be an even bigger enemy. So, don't worry if you won't be able to!^^

Well...have a good day!^^ (or evening...? Idk lol)

[k_pop4life]

Oh no I understand but I'm always harsher on myself and whatnot. aren't we all? I think i need to work on developing my ideas with more detail.

Evening! which reminds me i REALLY have to get started on studying for my tests next week!

[darkanoir]

lol good luck with that, then!^^

[k_pop4life]

Thank you darling!