what the fuck?
so after an unusually intense evening (refer to my previous journal, about stuff going on with ben), i decide to go on down to chili's. afterall, what can be more relaxing than drinking a couple of beers with some of my friends.
half the bar is chili's staff. we're taking up one booth. amie and her boyfriend are in another. barrett and his girlfriend are in yet another (yes, it bothered me that all these people are there with their boy/girlfriends, because mine isn't here). then michael starrett showed up. i waved hi to him until i saw who he was with. i knew that he used to work at the broker inn with cisco, but i didn't know they were friends. lo and behold, cisco was there with them. that was the last thing i needed tonight. i mean, seriously. i'm having issues with the fact that ben is gone. and then this total asshole who is the last guy i dated before ben just happens to show up at my restaurant. needless to say, i wasn't too happy. the first half of the night, i was pretending to ignore him, like i didn't even know he was there. but a couple of times in transit i caught him looking over at me (at least i looked cute tonight). it just pissed me off so much that he would even be there. i'd been fearing running into him. not really since we stopped seeing each other, but since i starting seeing ben. because i was so happy with ben, i was afraid he'd ruin it for me somehow. indirectly, he tried.
and then tonight...
shit...
i hate boys. except for ben. as long as he comes back.
half the bar is chili's staff. we're taking up one booth. amie and her boyfriend are in another. barrett and his girlfriend are in yet another (yes, it bothered me that all these people are there with their boy/girlfriends, because mine isn't here). then michael starrett showed up. i waved hi to him until i saw who he was with. i knew that he used to work at the broker inn with cisco, but i didn't know they were friends. lo and behold, cisco was there with them. that was the last thing i needed tonight. i mean, seriously. i'm having issues with the fact that ben is gone. and then this total asshole who is the last guy i dated before ben just happens to show up at my restaurant. needless to say, i wasn't too happy. the first half of the night, i was pretending to ignore him, like i didn't even know he was there. but a couple of times in transit i caught him looking over at me (at least i looked cute tonight). it just pissed me off so much that he would even be there. i'd been fearing running into him. not really since we stopped seeing each other, but since i starting seeing ben. because i was so happy with ben, i was afraid he'd ruin it for me somehow. indirectly, he tried.
and then tonight...
shit...
i hate boys. except for ben. as long as he comes back.